Incestual Desire
by TheSuperBuffMarsAngelMortal
Summary: This story is set in TMI:CoHF, Jace and Clary haven't been able to touch for weeks now, not even hold hands and all this talk of Sebastian has brought up some pushed down memories in Clary, Sebastian and clary had almost gone there, and clary was willing (in CoLS), and now she was a part of the team that was in charge of his death. What will she do? *Warning-Incest!*
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! This is my first smutty/fluffy/lemon thing I've done, I've so far written 18chapters drafts but my friend just edited the first chapter- I'm posting the first chapter to see people's reactions so if you could PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW that would be AMAZING! And would help a lot and help me decide if I continue with it or not.**

**Overview- This story is set in TMI:City of Heavenly Fire Jace and Clary haven't been able to touch for weeks now, not even hold hands and all this talk of Sebastian has brought up some pushed down memories in Clary, Sebastian and clary had almost gone there, and clary was willing (in City of Lost Souls), and now she was a part of the team that was I charge of his death. What will she do, no one else had ever made her feel like that, not even Jace. Will she stand by her fellow shadowhunters, friends, family and boyfriend or will she fall into a pit of lust and passion with Sebastian. *this a lot of sexual context, contains incest-clary and Sebastian, so if you don't agree with it don't read it* **

**So here it is - ****_Incestual Desires: Chapter one_**

Clary leaned against the wall in the Institute's library, trying to pay attention to the conversation but her mind just kept going back to that night.

It had been 6 weeks since Sebastian left the note. 'I'm coming...' was all that was written on it. It had also been a week since she and Jace could even touch each other (a teenage girl has her needs!). Everyone was in a panic; Magnus and the Silent Brothers were trying everythingthey could to find Sebastian, but at the same time trying to help Jace. But they had come up with nothing. Magnus however was getting generously paid for his efforts; considering he wasn't doing anymore favours after he and Alec split. Maryse and Alec got into a heated argument about what was more important, figuring out how to help Jace or finding Sebastian.

Sebastian...

Every time she heard his name, her mind would snap back to that night. It was the night Jace, herself and Sebastian went to 'the Bone Chandelier'; she had passed out on the bed with Jacebut had woken a few hours later. She was still a bit high from the club, she had tip toed her way down the hall to Sebastian's room. She had been 'curious' as to what he was doing. She slowly pushed the door open to find him reading a book on his bed. His head jerked up to see his little sister standing in his door way, head tilted to the side looking at him with a childish grin, he smiled that devilish smile which made her blush. Making her hair look redder than italready was.

Her head still tilted to the side she asked, "Watcha' doin'?"

He smiled at her, "Looking at my beautiful, sexy little sister."

She crossed her arms and leaned on the door frame, "Why do you do that?"

He shrugged as he stood up from the bed, "I don't know what you're talking about?"

She pointed her finger at him childishly, "That! That right there!"

She tensed up when he slowly but seductively walked towards her, "What is it little sis?"

He leaned over her, pinning her to the wall, "Do you mean this?" He gently ran his hand up her arm, send tingles through her body.

She stood there, she couldn't move, she wanted to run back to Jace but her body refused.

He now was brushing his hand against her thigh, going higher and higher every time, he leaned forward and whispered seductively in her ear, "I want this; I know you want this too little sis." He then placed a soft kiss on her neck making her body tingle.

He looked her in the eyes, with a look of lust, his hand getting higher and higher. He slammed his lips down on hers, she gasped at the force of his kiss. Her eyes grew wide with confusion at what she was doing. His hand had slowly made its way up her dress, his hands rubbing and tugging her petite, soft breasts. Her hormones took control of her body, as she flung her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He slowly pulled her off the wall and picked her up, her legs wrapped around his waist. She flung her head back and moaned as he sucked on her pulse, she felt him smile against her neck.

She was now looking into his hungry, lustful eyes. He took her by surprise, as he grabbed the back of her head crushing her lips down on his, their tongues entangling with each-other's. He slowly moved his hand down her back, unzipping her dress. It fell from her shoulders, resting on her hips. The next thing she knew Sebastian had thrown her on his bed, she stared up at him panting, she saw the hunger in his eyes just before he pounced on top of her. His legs pinned her hips down, she could feel him growing against her, she moaned at his touch. Soon they were in another heated kiss; he pulled his shirt off over his head effortlessly, as she shimmied her dress down her luscious legs, both of them simultaneously throwing their clothing on the floor. He looked at his little sister lying below him in nothing but a lacy red bra and panties; he stared in both awe and lust. She had looked up at her big brother; she reached up and ran her hand up his hard, muscular, tan chest, from his naval to his neck, pulling him down on top of her once again. He kissed her with passion, Jace had never kissed her like this, and never made her body tingle this way. The thought of Jace flashed across her mind to quickly for her to comprehend. Sebastian started to trail kisses down her neck. He stopped at her pulse and started sucking and nibbling on it, making her moan loader. He hadloved the noises he could make his little sister make. He ran his hand down her outer thigh, slightly spanking it, making her giggle with excitement. He smiled again, against her neck at the noises she made when he touched her. He slowly moved his hand across her lace panties; he could feel her arousal through the fabric. He moved back up to her lips and crushed his lips onto hers, his hand rubbing, teasing, her through the fabric. She arched her back as he touched her, she smashed her lips against his and thrusted against his hand. She felt a need to return the favour, so she reached down and unbuttoned his jeans. Her hand slid into them,feeling his cock only grow with her touch. They were both now feeling each other, exploringover their underwear. After moments of exploring, Sebastian decided to remove her drenched fabric. So he slid down her, trailing kisses from her chin, to her neck, to her naval and then finally he gripped the edge of the lace and pulled it down to her ankles. He quickly yanked his jeans of and threw them on the ground, near the clothing that had been discarded earlier. He slowly started trailing kisses up his sister's soft beautiful legs, his kisses started to linger, as he got closer and closer to her. He finally reached her, and before he started, he looked down at her in awe.

As he was about to go down on her, Clary jerked away from him, '_What am I doing!_' She quickly grabbed her clothes off the ground and ran back to Jace's room, got dressed and laid back down with Jace, she kept telling herself, _'That never happened!'_

As clary darted out of his room, Sebastian was left confused and angry.

_'That bitch! Such a tease! I will have her! She will be mine!'_

"Clary! Clary!" Clary slowly came back from her day dreaming state, to the sound of Alec's voice.

She looked at him a bit dazed, "What?"

"We need to go! They found him! They found Sebastian!"

"What? Where?"

"It's not completely narrowed down, but they narrowed it down to a 100m radius of a huge warehouse on the edge of New Jersey. We're going on a search party."

As they strode out of the institute, geared up and ready to fight. Alec turned to her and coldy said, "Remember, it's kill on sight."

_Could she do it, could she kill the only person who ever made her feel that way, made her feel alive._

**did you like it?!are you intrigued to read more? PLEASE REVIEW IT WILL HELP ALOT! AND WILL DEPEND ON WHETHER OR NOT I POST THE OTHER CHAPTERS!**


	2. Chapter 2

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! I still can't believe how much people actually like it, you heloped boost my confidence in Incestual Desire, so here is Chapter 2, chapter 3 will be up tomorrow most likely. **

**Here it is- Chapter 2**

Jace was back at the institute considering his... condition. A group of Shadowhunters and Luke's pack were gathered at the front of a giant (like huge!) abandoned warehouse, that sat on the edge of New Jersey. Each shadowhunter had paired themselves with a wolf and they used the binding rune Clary had created for the war in Alicante. Clary had refused to be paired, because what if she did find Sebastian and what if those memories came flooding back and her paired wolf found out. They'd tell, she'd be destroyed, and it would also destroy Jace. So she ended up convincing Luke, since they were a wolf short, she'd go without a partner.

Everyone had their attention to Maryse and Alec at the front. "Each pair will each take a 50metre square of ground, each on different levels, so that means four pairs to each level, and remember, it's Kill on Sight."

Those last three words ringed in Clary's ears. She got the roof since they were short a few; she took the roof alone even though Alec and Isabel protested, she had made up her mind. As she opened the door to the roof, she prayed that she wouldn't find him.

Her prayers weren't answered. She saw him there, on the roof, pacing back and forth; he hadn't heard her coming. So she slowly pulled out her seraph blade and whispered "Gabriel", it lit up.

He had heard her now, he spun around ready for a fight, sword in hand; he smiled when he saw her but not relaxing from his attack position. "Clary, interesting surprise I was sure I'd get a pathetic werewolf/shadowhunter tag team."

"Sorry to disappoint."

He smiled that devilish grin, he had grinned that night so long ago, all the memories came flooding back to her and before she knew it she was drawing a portal rune.

He came and stood next to her, his guard completely down, staring at her in complete confusion, "What are you doing?"

"Shut up! Don't make this harder than it is!" She hissed at him.

The portal opened, she was masking her emotions well, Sebastian still totally confused at what was happening.

She turned to him; her head gestured to the portal, and whispered, "Go."

He grinned wickedly and grasped her hips and pulled her towards him. She gasped at this sudden action, as he clashed their lips together for a moment of passion that quickly turned to pain, when he bit her bottom lip, causing it to bleed.

She yanked away from him, tasting the blood in her mouth, "What the hell?!"

He smiled at her mischievously and moved closer to her and whispered in her ear. "If you want to find me, and I know you will, just bite your lip and you'll know..." With that he disappeared into the portal. She stood there for a second, her lips still buzzing from the kiss, then she realised what she had done. '_What have I done! I let him escape! I HELPED him escape! ... Why did I do that?' _

Everyone was gathering outside the building again, no one had found anything, no trace of him... Except Clary, she knew she should have told them but she didn't.

As Luke and herself walked into their home, Luke went upstairs and went to bed with Jocelyn. Clary contemplated going for a shower but she was too exhausted. The rune she had drawn was pretty powerful, she could feel it. The memory of Sebastian lingered on her lips, she thought back to what he had said, ' _If you want to find me, and I know you will just bit your lip and you'll know...'_

Would it work, she thought about it but then realised he must be crazy what is she IS crazy; she lay on her bed staring at the ceiling trying to get him out of her head. _'I am with JACE, not Sebastian. Sebastian is evil! Sebastian is my brother! ... Sebastian.'_ Without knowing what she was doing, she bit down on her lower lip.

**Did you like it?! I know there isn't any smutty stuff in this chapter but be patient :) **

**please keep the reviews coming! Thanks! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Here it is, chapter 3 like promised! Hope you like it! Loving all the reviews! Keep them coming! ENJOY!**

She felt a wave of dizziness hit her as the blood touched her tongue. Everything went black. Suddenly the room lit up around her, she looked at her surroundings. The room she was standing in was obviously a lounge room, but not just any lounge room; it was a huge room. Which obviously was in a huge mansion, definitely owned bysomeone with a lot of money; beautiful art pieces hung on the walls. She slowly made her way across the room and pulled back the huge velvet curtains to find beautiful floor-to-ceiling windows, she stared out at the gorgeous view. She looked out in awe.

'_Wait! I know this place… Prague?"_

She suddenly felt two strong arms wrap around her waist, her body instinctively leaned into the warm embrace.

'_What am I doing?!'_

She immediately yanked away and turned around to see her big brother grinning at her.

"Sebastian! Where am I?"

He grinned wickedly at her, which made her blush as flashes of that night dashed through her mind. "You're still in your room, back at Lucian's house... Well your body is anyway, your mind however is with me."

She was very confused and Sebastian could tell, "When I bit your lip I whispered a little incantation which enables your mind to travel to me without physically leaving." She was still pretty confused at was happening, Sebastian sighed impatiently, "When you bite your bottom lip hard enough causing it to bleed your mind travels to where ever I am!"

She kind of understood what was happening, "So where am I?"

His charming smile appeared, "Don't you recognise it," he walked towards her grabbing her hips, turning her to look out the window again. He pressed himself against her, his touch made her body tingle. He tilted his head so he was whispering in her ear, "Don't you remember that night, our night... We're in Prague, but unfortunately we're not in the apartment, thanks to you."

Without thinking about it she apologised, "Sorry about that." '_What am I saying, I'm not sorry!'_

He grinned and started trailing kisses up and down her neck, "I know, but there are ways you can make it up to me. You're already halfway there with this little outfit of yours."

She was confused and looked down at what she was wearing, _'Oh God!'_ When she got dressed for bed it was a really hot night so she got dressed in a pair of tiny pink shorts and a sports bra. She yanked away and pulled the curtain to cover her.

He chuckled to himself, "Really Clary? I've seen you in a lot less." The memories of him yanking down her panties, slipped across her mind, making her blush and hide behind the curtain even more. Trying to avoid the current conversation, she cautiously asked. "Why am I here Sebastian?"

His gaze grew dark, "Because you want to be little sis."

"But I don't want to be her! I want to be at home, where you can't get to me!"

Hurt flashed across his eyes too quickly for Clary toeven realize, "Yes you do! You just won't accept it!" He yanked the curtain away from her, she gasped as he pushed her hands above her head. Making her body press against the cold glass window, sending goose bumps up her back, that disappeared as soon as he crushed his lips on hers. Still pining her hands above her head, he ran a hand up her inner thigh and across the front of her shorts. A tiny moan escaped her, he smiled against their kiss. He slid his hand inside her shorts and started making her moan loader. She threw her head back in pleasure, he started sucking and nibbling on her pulse. He titled his head up and whispered in her ear, "You want to be here, with me. No one else ever made you feel this way and no one ever will... Not even Jace." Her head snapped back to look at him 'Jace!'

His wicked grin spread across his face, once again when he saw the panic in her eyes, one hand still pinning her hands above her head, the other down her pants. She didn't jerk away, which surprised Sebastian. She just looked at him shocked at what she was doing, a tear rolled down her cheek; disgusted in herself. Sebastian's eyes now filled with compassion, he slowly released his grip from her hands and cupped her cheek and gently kissed away the falling tear. She closed her eyes forcing the tears away, she then heard him whisper in her ear, "I'll see you soon little sister."

She jerked her eyes open, "What are you..." She was back in her room, tangled in the sheets. She sat upright looking around her room, 'What just happened?' Her lips were tingling from their kiss, everything that just happened replayed itself in her mind. She fell back down on her pillow clutching her knees to her chest, 'What's wrong with me?' A tear rolled down her cheek, opening the flood gates.

**Did you like it? Please Keep the reviews coming! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Here it is, Chapter 4! **

**Live finished my plot plan and am writing the draft of chapter 27 Now! There is a lot to look forward to! Hope you like it! And remember t keep those awesome/helpful reviews coming! **

Clary woke up to the sunlight blaring through her window, not feeling any better she rolled over to see her digital bed-side clock; 2:30pm.

'_I've been asleep for almost the whole day! Why didn't anyone wake me up?'_

She groaned in frustration as she got out of bed. She went over to her closet and picked out a pair of brown shorts and one of her favourite band t-shirts. She dragged her feet down the hallway and entered the bathroom. She turned on the shower, shrugged off her clothes and jumped in. As she rubbed the soaped up loafer over her body, she remembered last night. She remembered him holding her hands above her head, she remembered the way he crushed their lips together. She remembered the way he felt her, she remembered that they were in Prague and then her mind flashed back to that night, what he called '_our night_'. She slowly lowered he loafer feeling her way across her body, the tiniest moan escaped her lips, as she remembered the way he ran his hands over her body. Before she knew it she was biting her bottom lip, as it split her eyes flung open in a panic, was she going to pass out in the bath, she might drown! Suddenly she felt the blood touch her tongue. She braced herself for what was about to happen. She closed her eyes ready for the darkness, but nothing happened she opened her eyes looking around confused, and then suddenly she felt warmth on her neck.

She spun around to see Sebastian standing there, "What? How?"

He had that devilish grin plastered on his face; he started placing light kisses on her neck. "Well. Clarissa. The lip biting works both ways. If you 'bite' and you know you're in a compromising position. My mind will travel to you."

She looked at him in disbelief, "Seriously?"

"Yes. I had to have a back-up plan in case something like this happened, I wouldn't want my little sister passing out and splitting her head open, on the bottom of the shower now."

She took a tiny step back when he said 'little sister', the words ringed in her ears.

He stepped forward, they were closer than before, and that's when she realised that they were both completely naked. She pushed him back and turned around. She was so close to the wall if she moved any closer she would become a part of it. He chuckled to himself and he stepped forward again, hisbody pressed tight against hers; pinning her to the wall. He leaned down and sucked her earlobe, making her eyes flutter with the overwhelming sensual feeling.

He whispered seductively in her ear, "What's wrong Clary? Never seen an arousal before? You've definitely felt it."

"It's not that, I've seen ..."

His voice was darker now, "That's right. You and Golden Boy did it when he was 'the real Jace'. He is nothing compared to me."

She felt him grow against her; she felt a need for him. She felt the need for him inside her and she knew he wanted it too. With all her force she spun around to face him, their bodies pressed together, their faces just touching. They were looking deep into each other's eyes and they both only saw hunger and lust. Their lips clashed as their bodies rubbed together, Sebastian rubbed her soapy soft breast, making her moan. He smiled like always when she moaned for him, she moved herself up the wall legs hooked around Sebastian's waist, just before he entered her, he yanked her off him and set her down.

She looked at him confused and mildly disappointed, "What's wrong?"

He leaned down and kissed her passionately, "Not now little sister, not while I'm only here mentally and not physically. We will, just not now." He kissed her one last time and whispered, "Close your eyes Clary." She obeyed; a moment later she opened them to see no Sebastian. She turned to the faucet and turned it to cold, now she needed a cold calming shower. As the cold water hit her back, she felt disgusted in herself, _'I was naked in front of Sebastian! My brother! He's a monster and I almost had sex with him! Something is wrong inside me! Something twisted; something trulydisgusting!'_

She finished her shower and went down stairs to find a note on the table,

**_Clary -_**

**_Went out, clave business, we will be back tomorrow morning._**

**_- Love Mum and Luke_**

As she set the note back down she felt her phone buzz in her pocket, she plucked it out to see a message from Jace

_**- I miss u, I want 2 c u. Can you come for a visit?**_

'_Shit! How am I going to face Jace, even though he doesn't know. I still know and I don't know if I can handle seeing him right now!_' she was so confused right now. She decided it wasn't a good idea, so she texted back

_**- Not feeling well, staying in bed. I will visit when feeling better.**_

His reply _**- What's wrong? Are you ok?**_

'_Shit! What now?' __**- Cramps**_

_**- Shouldn't have asked. Hope you feel better soon, love you xoxo**_

She hesitated at first _**- Love you too xoxo**_

She stormed upstairs, frustrated, angry and disgusted with herself. She had this feeling that Sebastian had done something to her, like put a spell on her or something. She was convinced that was the only reason why she was acting this way. She flopped on her bed; she needed answers. So she bit down on her lip as hard as possible, letting the blood flow into her mouth. Just before the blackness hit her, one last thought entered her mind.

_'I need answers...'_

**Did you likeI I hope you guys aren't loosing interest, I know I'm dragging it out a bit but it's TOTALLY worth it in the long run Trust Me! **

**Please keep your awesome reviews coming and the next chapter will be up in less than 5days!**

**PS I know I'm such a tease! **


	5. Chapter 5

**yay! i have the edited copy of chapter 5!**

**so here it is! ENJOY!**

**Incestual Desire: Chapter 5 **

She was standing in the magnificent lounge room once again. She looked around trying to find Sebastian, he wasn't there. As her eyes travelled curiously around the room, they suddenly fell on the huge double doors. The doors were beautifully crafted and had golden door handles.

She suddenly heard a voice from the other side, an angry voice.

"What do you mean he's dead? You stupid idiot! You know what this means, don't you!? It means that I'm going to have to drag you here myself and torture you until you're begging me to kill you!"

'Sebastian!' Clary stormed towards the doors and flung them open, as she stepped out into what looked like the foyer. It was a most beautiful sight with illustrious paintings along the walls and a huge staircase, with the exact same gold trimmings that she had seen on the doors. Suddenly she heard a loud crack; she snapped her head around to see Sebastian standing a few metres away from what looked like a broken cell phone.

She could tell he was furious about something but she really didn't give a damn right now, "Sebastian! What did you…"

She was cut off, "Clary! Would you please shut up! I'm sorry, but I can't attend to your incestual needs right now. I have to go and clean up someone else's mess."

He sat down on the bottom steps of the huge staircase and rubbed his face in frustration. She could see disappointment in his eyes causing her body to suddenly go from infuriated to concern. Without evening thinking, her body slowly walked over to him and sat on the staircase with him.

_'What am I doing?!'_ she thought to herself. She couldn't stop herself, her voice suddenly soft, "What's wrong?"

He looked at her, surprised at what she was saying and then went back leaning his head on his hand, "Let's just say, never send a demon on a retrieval mission."

_'See, he's evil! He uses DEMONS to do his dirty work! He is evil!' _She couldn't stop; she gently placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He lifted his hand and placed it on hers, his head still leaning on his other hand.

They sat like this for a moment and then before she knew it she asked, "Is there anything I can do?"

He looked up at her, smiling weakly, she had never seen him like this. So... so... human. "No, unfortunately."

They sat in silence, not an awkward silence but a comfortable silence.

He broke it with a curious look on his face, "Why are you here Clary? You seemed pretty upset and angry when you first arrived."

She thought back and felt bad about thinking he did something to her. "I... I thought... I was going to... Ask... I thought... It doesn't matter." She stood up and went to walk away; she felt sudden warmth from his hand on her arm, "Clary?" His voice was so soft... so human.

She turned around, eyes watery, to see his confused and hurt face. "I ... I ..." She suddenly clashed her body against his and let the tears fall. His arms wrapped around her, enclosing her in his warmth.

She couldn't stop the tears, "What's wrong with me?"

He pulled her closer, "Shhh…" he cooed. Nothing is wrong with you." He stroked her hair soothingly, "Breathe, Clary just breath."

She started taking deep breaths. _I'll just have to tell him._

Her eyes flung open at a sudden absence of warmth. She sat up abruptly and looked around her dull little bedroom; her heart ached at his absence. The sudden loss of his warmth, the absence of his embrace, the absence of... Sebastian.

She laid back down on her bed clutching her pillow to her chest, the tears started falling once again and she asked herself the same question she'd been asking herself for the last few days. 'What's wrong with me?'

She felt herself starting to drift off to sleep, when she heard loud banging at her front door.

She dragged herself out do bed, 'What the hell!'

Just before she opened the door she wiped at her tear stained cheeks, an attempt to mask her recent crying.

She opened the door to see Isabel standing at her door, "Clary! We need to go to the institute, NOW!"

She grabbed Clary's wrist and yanked her down the footpath, "Isabel! Izzy! What's going on! Is something wrong?"

She stopped and turned to Clary with a huge smile on her face. "It's the total opposite! It's Jace! He's better! They 'fixed' him!"

**DID YOU LIKE IT? PLEAE KEEP THOSE FANTASTIC REVIEWS COMING!**


	6. Chapter 6

**my editor's laptop is broken and i'm away on holiday so the next few chapters will be unedited so please don't judge my grammar to harshly. **

**I also thought i'd be nice and post chapter 7 right after this one- but once again it will be unedited, once i get them edited i will repost them for you guys but this is the best o can do for now.**

**ps. thanks for the amazing reviews! keep 'em coming!**

**So here is Chapter 6! Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 6**

Clary stood at the infirmary doors, Isabel at her side. She nudged clary forward and then started to walk back to her room.

Clary didn't understand what she was doing, "where are you going?"

Isabel turned on her heel so she was facing clary, a huge grin on her face, "Jace asked to see you alone. I think you two have a lot to 'catch up on'."

Isabel started walking again, _'catch up on what? What does she mean by ... Oh...'_ Clary slowly opened the doors and entered the infirmary, when she turned back around from closing them she was attacked. Someone was kissing her, someone was holding her someone was trailing his fingers though hers, 'Jace?'

He slowly pulled back, she melted at the huge smile on his face, he was looking at her with so much love, not lust or desire like Sebastian but love.

He brought one hand up and cupped her face, "You have no idea how much I've needed to do that."

Before she could say anything he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, whispering, "I love you Clary Fray."

"I love you too Jace Wayland." With that he deepened the kiss.

He was savouring every moment. It was a slow kiss, after minutes of kissing he ran his tongue across her lips asking for entrance, she allowed it. Their tongues entangled with each other, full of love and devotion. He slowly pulled her up so her legs were hooked around his waist. He gently carried her over to his infirmary bed and placed her down, never releasing from the kiss. He climbed on top of her and ran his hands up and down her sides, he wanted to remember every inch of her. He sat up and pulled his shirt off, she did the same, both discarding them on opposite sides of the bed. He leaned down and kissed her once again on the mouth before trailing kisses from her neck to her naval and back up again. He did this once before taking her lips as his once again, this time he slowly grasped her soft, bra covered breast, their kiss was deepening with even more love and devotion.

As he started to to suck on her pulse she through her head back and a little moan escaped, suddenly a thought crossed her mind,_ 'See! Sebastian is nothing like this! He's all ruff and tough! He would never be this loving and gentle!' _

Her eyes flung open at the thought of him, she sat up abruptly and started putting her shirt back on, unsure why she was doing this.

Jace sat at the opposite end of the bed obviously confused and hurt, "Clary? Is something wrong? What's happening Clary? Did I do something?"

She stopped at the last question, her eyes full of sadness, "you didn't do anything wrong... It's me who's wrong." With that she ran out of the infirmary and darted back down the hall to the elevator. Tears started to fall, Jace was running after her "Clary! Clary wait! Clary please!"

As she reached for the elevator button, she prayed it would make it here before he did. Just as it arrived so did Jace, as she reached for the handle to pull open the elevator she was stopped by a Jace standing in font of her.

His eyes full of confusion, hurt and concern, "Clary what's wrong?"

What was she going to tell him, "I... I... I..."

She didn't know what to say so she did the only thing she knew for the last few days... Sebastian... She bit down at her bottom lip, acting as if she was trying to think about what to say, she suddenly felt the sweetness of the blood hit her tongue. She felt the darkness take her as she collapsed into Jace's arms.

She didn't know why she did what she did all she knew was that she had to see him, she needed to see him, she needed ... Sebastian.

**DID YOU LIKE IT? PLEASE KEEP THE REVIEW COMING! IT HELPS ALOT!**


	7. Chapter 7

**SAME THING- UNEDITED BUT I WILL REPOST THIS CHAPTER AS SOON AS IT IS EDITED! **

**HOPE YOU LIKE IT! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 7 **

The room lit up around her like always except this time she wasn't in the lounge room. She stared at her surroundings, a huge king sized bed was in the middle of the room, it had a dark exotic bed spread and pillows, and black silk sheets. On the walls were three beautiful art pieces but opposite the bed on the wall was a huge flat screen tv, she stared in awe. The room was dully lit by dimmed room lights. On the walls were huge velvet curtains just like the ones in the lounge room. She went to pull them back but was interrupted by the sound of a door opening. She spun around to see Sebastian standing in the door way, his hair was wet and unbrushed, and was wearing nothing but a towel.

"Clary? What are you doing here, I heard that golden boy was all better now. I would think you didn't need me anymore." His voice was harsh with jealousy.

Clary thought back to the infirmary, how she had thought about Sebastian when she was with Jace. Before she knew it she was running over to him, she fell into his arms and let the tears fall.

He slowly enclosed her in his arms, confused at what was happening, "Clary? clary what's wrong?"

She shoved out of his embrace, tears still falling but her eyes were full off anger and confusion, she slapped him.

He rubbed at his now red cheek still very confused and slight pissed off, "Ok. What the fuck is going on?"

Tears still streaming down her face she slowly made her way over to the bed and sat down, "I don't know..."

Sebastian slowly started to make his way over to her, she continued,"me and Jace, we were... Well we were about to..."

Sebastian stopped as she said golden boy's name, jealousy flashed across his eyes. She could see that he was jealous, she continued anyway, "we were about to and then... you! You happened! You just crept into my mind and ruined everything!" Her voice was full of frustration.

He couldn't help the smirk on his face, _'She thought about me, while she was with him.' _

She was pissed that he was smiling, "Really Sebastian?!" She stormed over to him and shoved him, "Why did you have to come into my life and ruin everything?!" She shoved him once again, "Why do you ruin everything!?" Se shoved him once more so his was pushed against the wall (some how his towel hasn't fallen off yet) she slapped him again, "You ruined everything!"

He was smiling, _'Why is he smiling!'_ They stared at each other, so much tension between them. She grabbed the back of his head and and pulled him down, their lips clashed together with so much heat, their tongues exploring each-other's mouths, she was pinning him to the wall, she felt so powerful right now. She yanked at his towel and threw it away. She started moving her hand up and down him, she pulled back from their kiss and looked down at him and then back up, looking Sebastian in the eye with so much hunger and desire, she leaned up and sucked on his earlobe, he moaned in pleasure, she whispered sexually in his ear, "You were telling the truth... You're bigger than him."

Sebastian smiled at her and pulled her back into a kiss. She pulled away panting, she slid down his body, she was now on her knees looking up at him. She was rubbing him up and down while licking her lips, she had never felt this alive before.

He was looking down at his beautiful sister in so much awe at what she was doing, how she took control. He threw his head back and moaned as he felt the warmth of her mouth wrap around him. She started moving up and down, her tongue exploring her way around him.

He started thrusting into her mouth, he felt himself about to reach climax, "Clary! I'm about to."

She popped out of him which ended up stopping him, she slowly made her way up his body, trailing kisses all the way up to his lips, and then around to his ear, "Not yet, not while I'm only here mentally and not physically."

She stepped back and with a smug look, he was grinning at how she used his own words against him, "I guess your right."

He was a bit confused, "I'm always right but what are you talking about?"

"I guess we are more alike than I thought." She closed her eyes and let herself be swallowed by darkness once again, the taste of him still tingling in her mouth.

She opened her eyes sleepily to the sound of someone's voice, she looked up and saw two golden eyes looking down at her, "Jace?".

**DID YOU LIKE IT? PLEASE KEEP THOS REVIEWS COMING! **

**ps. i know i'm a tease! ;) **


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter is like the last two- unedited. I really want to post edited chapters but i also dont want to make you wait forever so here is Chapter 8-unedited.**

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 8**

"Jace?"

His golden eyes, full of concern were staring down at her, let out a sigh of relief and pulled her into his arms, "Don't ever do that again!"

As he released his grip, she put on a confused face, "What happened?" (She knew exactly what had happened.)

"You ran out, you were crying, when I finally caught up to you to try and understand what was happening you passed out, I caught you before you hit the ground and brought you back to the infirmary. You were out for a good five minutes."

She made it look like she was processing what he had told her but in reality she was buzzing from the taste of Sebastian still lingering in her mouth.

"So... Why did you run out like that, why were you crying?

Her mind raced around looking for an excuse and then she remembered what she told him yesterday, "You remember how I wasn't feeling well?"

He looked confused for a moment while he thought back and then realised, "Ohhhh... So that's why you couldn't... You didn't want to..." Jace hates talking about this girly business, periods, cramps, what not. "But why were you crying?"

She replied in a flash, "Mood swings, all my emotions are heightened and I was disappointed that we couldn't and it all just got to me."

She could see how uncomfortable he was, she couldn't help but smile at his awkwardness, she sat up and gave him a soft kiss, not opening her mouth scared he might taste it as well, "I think I should go home, I'm still not feeling the greatest and right now all I want is to go to sleep."

He sighed in disappointment, "ok. Call me or text me when you're feeling any better."

"Will do."

Just before she left the infirmary she heard Jace call out to her, "I love you Clary."

She turned around and smiled at him, she felt a bit guilty, it's not that she didn't love Jace, it's just after everything she's done she didn't think she deserved his love, "I love you too Jace."

She turned around again and left the institute.

Once she got home she went straight to her sketch pad and started drawing. She didn't know what exactly but she just let her hand guide her. Once she finished, she sucked in a harsh breath as she looked at what she had drawn. Not Jace... But Sebastian, Sebastian in a towel to be exact, his hair was ruffled, a few droplets of water were on his chest, as she stared her body tingled. She threw her sketch book on the ground in frustration and flopped on her bed, staring at the ceiling as if it were to blame.

She asked herself once again, _'what's wrong with me?'_

She suddenly felt her phone buzz in her pocket; she yanked it out and looked at the caller ID, Isabel. She sighed in annoyance but answered it anyway, knowing Izzy she wouldn't give up easy.

She answered it more harshly than she'd liked, "What!?"

"Jeeze, calm down! Maybe I should have listened to Jace and not have bothered you."

She rolled her eyes in annoyance, "What do you want Isabel?"

"You need to come back to the institute now!"

"But I just got home!"

"It's an emergency meeting! There's new news about Sebastian's where-abouts."

Clary immediately sat up and started putting her shoes on, "Where is he?"

"They won't tell us anything, not until everyone is here."

"I'll be there as soon as I can." With that she hung up the phone, just before she left she drew a stamina and speed rune on her arm. She ran all the way there, she was kind of impressed with herself but she knew it was all because if the runes. She made her way into the Institute, her heart racing faster and faster as she got closer and closer to the group of Shadowhunters and werewolves standing outside the meeting room. She stopped a metre away from the group and looked around trying to find, Isabel, Jace, Alec, Magnus, or even Maia. She suddenly saw Isabel and Jace walking towards her and relaxed a little but tensed up again when she saw that Izzy was glaring at Jace for some unknown reason.

Jace was still uncomfortable, "umm...you feeling any better?"

Before she could answer she was cut off by Izzy, "By the Angel Jace! Seriously? She's on her period she's not dying!"

She death stared Isabel for being so loud, even though she wasn't on her period it was still personal and she didn't feel like sharing it with everyone.

In an attempt to change the subject, "So how many more are we waiting on?"

Jace suddenly relaxed at the change of topic, "umm, I think we're just waiting on Alec and Magnus."

Clary was a bit confused; Jace noticed and decided to explain, "Alec got given the task of retrieving the warlock that had been working with them, unfortunately that warlock is Magnus."

Clary felt pity for Alec, too many emotions came when Alec and Magnus were in a room, and even Clary could see that their hearts broke a little more every time they saw each other, no one knows why they broke up, Alec refused to talk about it. At that moment Alec and Magnus entered the room, Alec storming ahead of Magnus, arms crossed, slouched back and his eyes were red like he had just been crying. Magnus looked horrible as well, he wasn't standing tall like he usually does, he looked like someone had ripped his beating heart out and shown it to him, his eyes were also red like he'd just been crying.

Alec came over to us, despair his voice, "Is everyone here?"

Isabel was about to ask him what happened, but Jace cut her off with a look that said 'not now, it'll make things worse.'

Jace put on his best smile in an attempt to cheer him up, "Yep! Let's head in!"

Everyone started to file in and take their seats. She saw her mum and Luke standing up the front, she itched to go see them but now wasn't the right time.

Over the course of the meeting she was told that Sebastian was in Australia and was planning on staying, they were going to go retrieve him tonight and then bring him to Idris to be executed for his crimes, Clary flinched at the words 'executed' and 'crimes'. The retrieval group would be away for at least a week.

At the end of the meeting they read out the list of who was a part of the retrieval group, they racked off names other Shadowhunters and members of Luke's pack and then finally, "Magnus Bane the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Alexander Lightwood, Isabel Lightwood, Jace Lightwood."

She wasn't on the list, she was completely confused, not angry but confused, Jace had gotten on but she hadn't.

She went over to her mum at the end, with confusion written all over her face, "Now Clary I know you must be upset, but you're still not a fully trained shadowhunter, we can't let you go."

She sighed trying to sound disappointed, "fffiiinnnee." Dragging it out all dramatically.

"Good, now go home and I want you to stay with Simon while we're gone, Ok?"

She nodded and forced a smile. Before she left the Institute Jace gave her one last goodbye kiss and told he loved her.

When she got home she found a note on her bed:

**_Dear Clary, _**

**_I see they think I'm in Australia. Good. That means that they'll be away for at least two weeks on a wild goose chase. If you want, portal to me, you've seen my house, you know where I am. _**

**_I'll be waiting._**

**_-Sebastian._**

**_ps. I love the drawing of me. _**

She smiled at the last bit. _'Should I? No! no! no! I can't! But no one will know. But I will know! You can always come back before anything happens.'_ With that she went over to her cupboard and pulled out an overnight bag and started stuffing it with clothes, she jammed her sketch pad and pencil case in (she never went anywhere over night without them), she went to the bathroom and gathered her hairbrush and hair dryer and shoved it in as well. Before she zipped up the bag she picked up the drawing of him and stared at it momentarily before folding it up and shoving it in her pocket. She zipped up the bag and picked up her stele, she slowly started drawing a portal rune, _'I can do this. I can do this.'_ The portal opened before her, she took a deep breath and braced herself as she stepped into the portal.

**Did you like it? Please keep those reviews coming! I'll repost this chapter once i get the final edited one back!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Here is chapter 9- uneditted - i get to see my 'editor' tommorrow and i promise you i will be grumpy with her with the outcome of her work -(no chapters sinces chapter 7!) Any way here is chapter 9 - i know it's short but its a filler chapter. **

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 9-filler chapter**

She had pictured his bedroom as she stepped through the portal. She stumbled like always when she exited a portal, she still wasn't used to it. Sebastian was lying on the bed, asleep with a book lay open on his chest, she couldn't help but feel compassion towards him. She gently put down her bag and went over to put the book away but stopped and looked at him with wide eyes and a smile on her face, he was so perfect right _there._ She went over to her bag and pulled out her sketchpad and pencil case, she went around to the other side of the bed and sat down. She started drawing him, letting the lines flow from her hand through the pencil and onto the page. She loved the feeling she got when she was drawing. When she was finished she looked down at her masterpiece, she was proud. She thought she had captured the essence so perfectly. Clary suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion hit her, without thinking she placed her sketch pad at the end off the bed and laid down next to Sebastian, sleep took her instantly as her head touched the soft, silk pillows.

**Did you like it?! Please review! it helps a lot! **


	10. Chapter 10

**unedited **

**i know this is unedited but i hate that i gave you such a small chapter so her is Chapter 10.**

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 10**

Clary woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon. She sat up slowly and looked around the room, she had partly forgot what happened and then it all came racing back to her. '_Why did I come here?' _

She was here now and Sebastian must have known that because he obviously woke up before her because he defiantly wasn't here now. She stood up and stretched, she was still waking up. She saw sunlight peeking through the bottom of the velvet curtains; she made her way over to them and pulled them back. She sucked in a breath as she looked at the... Well BREATH TAKING view. They were still in Prague but this view seemed extra beautiful because of the morning sunlight, everything seemed to glow. Another waft of pancakes hit her causing her mouth to water, she decide she'd go find where it was coming from. She made her way over to the door, opened it and stepped out into a beautiful hallway, it also had beautiful art pieces along the walls and a velvet red carpet ran down the centre of the hall, every now and then there would be another door, probably more bedrooms or a bathroom.

She closed the door behind her and looked around, _'Ah ha!' _She spotted the stairs at the end of the hall; she started to make her way to them. She stopped at the top of the staircase and looked at a peculiar piece of art that hung on the wall. She couldn't help but feel she was linked to it somehow. She shrugged it off and walked down the stairs. Once she was at the bottom she lifted her nose in the air like a dog, trying to find where the smell was coming from. She found herself walking toward a normal white door; it was a door you push in and out, like in a kitchen '_Kitchen_!' She pushed the door and walked in, another waft of pancakes and bacon hit her as she entered the room. It was a modern kitchen with a six burner stove and three level oven, stainless steel sink, a black microwave, toaster and coffee machine sat on the bench, _'mmm coffee...' _pans hung from a wire rack above the sink. She was overwhelmed with all the smells, bacon, coffee, pancakes but she stiffened up as she saw Sebastian wearing grey track pants and a white, see threw, loose shirt with only a few buttons done up. On the bench next to him was a stack of pancakes, a plate of bacon and half empty bottle of pancake mix, he was cooking but he was doing something else, '_Reading_?' He shifted a little to turn over the pancake, her eyes widened with terror as she saw what he was looking at, '_My Sketch Pad!' _

She ran over and snatched it off the bench, holding it close to her chest, she was scowling at him.

He just grinned that devilish grin of his, "and Good Morning to you too."

"Why were you looking at my sketches!?" Her voice was harsh, she hated people looking at her drawings, it was her diary, it had all her personal feeling and emotions in it.

"What I can't look at my little sister's drawings." He said in a mocking tone, he took the pancake off the pan and placed on the stack with the others.

"NO!"

He chuckled at how defensive she was getting, he started pouring another pancake onto the pan, "You're actually really good." He turned so he was facing Clary, he slowly started to move towards her, pinning her in between him and the bench, "I like your stuff."

She knew he wasn't talking about her drawings anymore, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her neck, he leaned up and looked at her in the eyes, he was so hungry for her, she could see it, he could also see her sexual desire for him, "You know little sis," he brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear, "I wasn't sure if you were going to come or if you'd tell the clave where I was."

Before she could respond he grabbed her thighs and lifted her in one swift motion so she was sitting on the bench, she let out a little yelp at this sudden movement, he smiled wickedly, he loved the noises she made.

He started moving his hand up and down her thigh, making her body shudder at his touch. He placed another kiss on her neck, he started trailing kisses until he reached her pulse, he started sucking and nibbling on it, he wanted her to moan for him and she did. He smiled against her neck. She couldn't take it anymore she pulled his head up and clashed their lips together, their tongues intertwined with so much heat. She started slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Once all the buttons were undone she started felling his warm, rock hard chest, she felt herself getting wetter and wetter at every touch. He slowly slid his hand up her shirt, caressing her soft breast. She moaned as he started playing and teasing with her hard nipple, he yanked her shirt over her head in one swift motion. He started trailing kisses from her neck down to her breasts, as he suckled on one nipple and he rubbed and flicked the other. His tongue flicked and swirled around her nipple causing her to throw her head back and moan in pleaser. The closer their bodies got the more she could feel him growing for her. She wanted him so bad. She pulled him up and kissed him once more before she pushed him off her. She had so much lust in her eyes so Sebastian knew it wasn't a 'get off me' push it was 'get into another position' push. She shoved him once more causing him to lay on the ground. She striped off her pants so she was only wearing a black bra and black panties that happened to be drenched. She straddled him and crushed her lips on his once again. As their tongues entangled once her hands slowly moved down his body and started untying the drawstring on his track pants. She reached her hand in and started rubbing him through his underwear just like she did on 'that night'. He threw his head back and moaned at her touch. He grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her down into another passionate kiss. She released from the kiss and started moving down his body trailing hot pecks all the way down, once she reached the edge of his pants she looked up at him with a devilish grin on her face, he stared down at her in awe and lust. She slowly grabbed the edge of his pants and in one quick motion yanked them off along with his underwear. She looked at him with hungry eyes, she went back up to him and kissed him once again, she slid off her panties and chucked them aside, never releasing from the kiss. She rubbed up against, causing him to throw his head to the side and moan. She needed him inside her, she angled herself and just as he was about to enter her warmth he shoved her off.

She was pissed she'd been wanting this for awhile now, "What the hell?!"

Sebastian stood up and went over to his pants and shrugged them back on, as he was tying up the drawstring, his voice was stern and she heard a hint of hurt, "The pancakes are burning."

'_The pancakes had been burning for awhile, why was he...' _She looked over to her side and there lied her sketch pad open to a page, on that page was a drawing of Jace, '_...oh...' _

She felt guilty, so she gathered her cloths and sketchpad into a pile, her voice was a bit shaky, "I... Um... I think I'll go for a shower."

He had his back to her, his smooth, muscular, tan back.

His voice was still the same, "fine. It's the door across from my room."

With that she left, she made her way up the stairs and into the bathroom. She dumped the pile on the floor, turned on the water and took off the last piece of clothing she had on, her bra. She stepped into the shower and let the warm water run over her body. She started to cry, she didn't know why but she just knew she knew she'd needed it...

**Did you like it?! Please Review! **

**ps. i know i'm a tease :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**unedited **

**Here it is Chapter 11. I've asked a few of the story followers if they think i should just upload a chapter a day even if it is unedited and they said it would be a good idea. So i will be posting a chapter a day, maybe two if they are short chapters or one every two days if they're really long chapters.**

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 11**

She stepped out of the shower, her eyes were red and her knees were weak. She grabbed the towel off the towel rack and wrapped it around her. She gathered up her cloths and walked back into Sebastian's room. She dumped her clothes on the floor at the end of the bed, she really didn't care right now. She picked up her bag and started rummaging through it looking for something to wear, she obviously wasn't paying attention when she was packing her bag because the only piece of actual clothing she brought with was her jeans and the clothes she came in, everything else was either a silk night dresses or underwear. She huffed and decided to wear her jeans and the green nightdress. She got dressed and started walking towards the stairs. She wasn't happy at what had happened this morning, she was angry and guilty and sad and frustrated all at the same. As she passed a door at the end of the hall she thought she heard something, she turned to the door and looked at it curiously. She cautiously turned the handle and opened it and stepped inside. It was a training room; it looked just like the one in the institute only a bit narrower. She looked up as she heard the sound again, a thump. She stared up at the high balancing beams, there he was, bouncing from one beam to another, he looked gracefully dangerous. She couldn't pry her eyes away, he was only wearing the track pants from earlier, _'he must have come straight here.' _

He hadn't noticed her come in, so she lied down on her back in the centre of the room and watched him, there was something about him something she couldn't quite put her finger on. He may be evil but something was damaged in that boy, not just demon blood, not growing up being raised by Valentine but something else, some secret he is holding close to his heart that no one will ever know about.

He stopped on the highest beam and looked down at Clary with a smug grin on his face, "Enjoying the view?"

She smiled, "I don't know, is there a mirror in front of me?"

He stared at her like a predator about to pounce on its prey. He jumped from the beam and started falling gracefully towards her. Her eyes widened with shock, she put her hands in front of her face and squeezed her eyes shut as if it was going protect her. She heard a thump and felt the heat of a body above her. She slowly opened her eyes and moved her hands from her face. He was on top of her, legs either side and his face inches away, a smug grin on his face as if he were proud of himself. Clary's eyes set on his lips, his eyes softened as if he noticed where she was staring. She didn't want to make the first move after what happened this morning. He gently brushed a few strands of her fiery red hair off her face, he then gently caressed her cheek, she leaned into his hand, consuming the warmth it provided. She was slightly surprised at how soft his touch was. He leaned down and lightly brushed his lips against hers, the kiss deepened as she ran her fingers up and around his neck and through his hair. This kiss wasn't hot and passionate, it was gentle, and full of devotion and ... love? He slowly pulled away from the kiss.

He was looking down at her with eyes full of gentleness and a twinkle of pain as if remembering some past experience, his voice was soft, "Why are you here Clary?"

Hurt flashed across her mind but then she thought about _'why am I here?'_ she was playing with a bit of his hair at the back of his neck, "I... I ... I don't know..."

He stood up and held his hand out for her; she was slightly confused, "Where are we going?"

"We are going to go find you a reason for you to be here."

She grabbed his hand and pulled herself up, he smiled that devilish smile as he looked her up and down, "You may want to change though."

She remembered she was wearing her black jeans and the silk green nightdress, "Yeah... I wasn't exactly thinking when I packed my bag, all I brought were these jeans, the clothes I had on when I arrived and heaps of silk night dresses and underwear."

He raised an eyebrow at her suggestively, she shoved him in a playful way, "I wasn't focusing when I packed it was all in the moment."

"Come on I'll find you something to wear." He led her into his room and he started searching through his closet. He turned around and handed her a black button up shirt.

She looked at it confused, "I think it might be a bit big on me."

"Just put it on."

She took off her green nightdress exposing her purple lace bra, she wanted him to regret shoving her off this morning. Sebastian bit his bottom lip as he watched her slowly button up the shirt. She finished buttoning up the shirt, it was as she expected, it was way too big on her she looked at him with an 'I told you so!' face.

He smiled and walked over to her and started rolling up her sleeves, "Have you got some bobby pins?"

She looked at him a little confused but went over to he bag and pulled out two bobby pins and handed them to him, he slid one bobby pin onto each sleeve, holding them up so it looked like a t-shirt.

She tugged at the bottom of the shirt, which was just above her knees, "What about this part genius?"

He smiled and moved closer to her and slowly started unbuttoning the bottom buttons, about half way he stopped and grabbed the two corners of the shirt and tied it in a bow just underneath her bust, exposing her torso. He slowly brushed his hand down her arm and took a hold of her hand and led her across the hall into the bathroom, he turned her to face the mirror. She looked at herself, impressed with what Sebastian had done; her jeans sat on her hips and her shirt was tied underneath her bust so her torso was exposed, she thought she kind of looked like a 'biker chick' form the 60's, she thought something was a bit off so she undid the top two buttons, flaring out the collar, _'I look sexy.' _

She turned around to face Sebastian, she ran her hands across his bare chest, "I think you may need a shirt as well."

"I was thinking the same thing." He smiled and headed back into the bedroom. She waited for him out in the hall, he emerged wearing black jeans and a tight black t-shirt. She sucked in a breath as she eye-raped him.

He could see what she was doing and smiled that devilish smile, he held his hand out to her, "Come on, lets go have some fun!"

**Did you like it?! Please Review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**unedited**

**another filler chapter - SO SORRY! but i will post the next chapter today when i get back form school. **

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 12 – filler chapter**

Sebastian and Clary were running down the streets of Prague, police chasing after them. In one swift motion Sebastian pulled Clary into a narrow path in between two houses, the police ran straight by. They were laughing and at the same time trying to catch their breath, their bodies were pressed against each other, she could feel that his body was reacting the way hers was.

Sebastian started trailing kisses up and down Clary's neck; she bit her lip in pleasure, "So. Is. That. A good enough. Reason. For you. To be here?"

"The police is after me. I think that would be a reason for me to leave."

He looked at her with a sly grin on his face, she reached up and pulled him into a heated kiss, their tongues entangled in passion.

Sebastian pulled back panting, looking down at her with sexual hunger, "What do you want to do now?"

She grinned wickedly, "What time does The Bone Chandelier open?"

He returned her wicked grin with one of his own, "It opens at sundown."

They both looked up to see the sun set and the stars blanket the sky.

She looked back at him with a cheeky smile on her face, he was looking back at her wickedly, he took her hand and pulled her back into the street and started heading to the club.

**Did you like it?! Please Review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**unedited **

**Here it is, Chapter 13. Hope you like it!**

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 13**

They arrived at the club, the upstairs 'mundane' part was practically empty aside from the few workers getting the place ready for the night ahead. Sebastian was leading her across the room, over to the archway. They made their way down the worn stone steps, just like they did that night many months ago. Clary almost slipped on the age-smooth stone but Sebastian caught her in a flash, they stared at each other, so much tension, she unconsciously bit her bottom lip as she imagined what she was going to do with him, he noticed and grinned at her horniness. He steadied her and they started walking again. The air grew cooler and the music grew louder. As the got to the bottom step Sebastian turned to her and smiled, he loved that coming here was her idea but he was concerned considering the last time they were here she ended up passing out as she noticed the true gruesomeness that is The Bone Chandelier. They stepped into the explosions of colour and light, she looked around and it was as if nothing had changed except this time she saw the gruesomeness that is The Bone Chandelier. She looked around stone room, the massive sneering, black winged angel rose along the far wall, it's wings dripping with bodies, the huge marble fountain that Sebastian had told her that they were the same, back then she didn't believe him but now she was becoming more and more convinced, the huge Bone Chandelier hung in the centre of the room and of course the sparkling fireworks that rained glitter which she knew now wasn't glitter but a type of faerie drug that got you high. She remembered the feeling it gave her, she remembered how her and Sebastian first touched because of it.

She turned to him and grinned wickedly, she grabbed his hand and started to drag him onto the packed dance floor, "Let's dance!"

They made their way into the middle of the dance floor and started to dance to the pounding rhythm, she noticed the Downworlders around her eyeing Sebastian, she felt a pang of jealousy, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, she was making sure their bodies were touching in every way. She could feel him react and started grinding against him even more, they locked eyes, and kept dancing; grinding without unlocking their gaze. A firework exploded above them causing the glittery drug to rain down right on top of them, Clary could feel it covering her, she could also see it covered Sebastian as much as it did her. She licked her glitter covered lips and felt he buzz immediately hit her, everything around her became shiny.

Sebastian could see that the drug had taken affect on her, "Now. Now. You can't have all the fun, I want some too."

He reached down and pulled her lips to his, the buzz immediately hit him. Their tongues danced together, she started to pull him closer, she needed him she needed him now! His hands slid down her thighs and gripped them, picking her up. She hooked her legs around his waist and he started to carry her over to one of the alcoves. Sebastian pulled back the velvet curtain and placed he down on the stone bench, he turned around and yanked the curtain closed. As soon as he turned around she attacked his lips, his hands slid across her glitter-covered torso making her body tingle with desire for his touch. He started undoing the few buttons on her shirt and then swiftly undid the bow. As she pulled he shirt off he did he same with his, both discarding it on the floor. He started unbuttoning her pants and unzipping the zipper. He slowly got down on his knees, trailing kisses down her glitter covered body, feeling the buzz hit him with every touch. He reached the hem of her pants and he yanked them down to her ankles along with her panties, causing her to be exposed. She quickly stepped out her pants and shoes, kicking them to the side. He looked back up at Clary; he could see the hunger in her eyes. He ran his hands up her sides, grasping her hips and pulling her down onto the stone bench, a shiver went up her spine as her bare skin touched the cool stone. He licked his lips and placed her knees either side of his head. He looked down at her beauty in awe. He leaned down and started kissing her thighs. He ran his hand along her front, she let out a little moan at his first touch, he looked up at her with a sly grin. He leaned forward and started trailing kisses from her naval, he was running his hand up and down her wetness. She arched her back as he took it in his mouth. His tongue swirled around her clit, she threw her had back and moaned even louder, her breathing starting to get heavier. He slowly started to probe at her wetness, still swirling his tongue around her. He slowly entered a finger into her, she let out a gasp at the penetration and slid her hand down her body and linked her fingers into his hair, pushing him closer to her. He could feel could feel how tight she was, if he didn't know about her and Jace's one time he would have thought she never lost it, then again it has been weeks, months even since then maybe this would be almost like losing it again, he smiled at the thought of deflowering his little sister, a beautifully demonic thought. He thrusted his finger into her again and again, then two fingers and now three, she was loosening up but was still tight. He looked up at her, she hadn't stopped moaning since the first finger went in, he loves the sounds he can get her to make.

He could feel her about to explode; she could as well, "Sebastian! Ohh, Sebastian! I'm about to!"

But just as he was going to thrust the last thrust that would break her, he stopped as he heard a booming voice outside the curtain. "Master Morgenstern, something has happened."

Sebastian still had all three fingers in her wetness just sitting there, Clary was panting from the anti-climax, she was not happy, she answered the man outside before Sebastian got the chance, "Can it wait!?" Sebastian grinned at her frustration.

You could her the confusion in the mans voice considering the girl answered, "Unfortunatly, no. It's an emergency, it's about The Heart."

With that Sebastian popped out of her, grabbed his shirt and stormed out to go talk to the guy. Clary stood up, she was pissed, she had been denied release by Sebastian **_5_** times now, she was sick if it! She yanked on her panties and jeans on, and slid on the button up black shirt, not bothering to do it up. She picked up her shoes and stormed out of the alcove. She walked straight pass Sebastian and the guy he was talking to without stopping. She pushed her way through the crowd and made he way over to the exit, just before she started walking up the stone steps she heard Sebastian calling after her, this only made her start to run up the stairs. She burst into the mundane part of the Bone Chandelier. She once again pushed her way through another intoxicated crowd; he was still calling after her. She looked around looking for the exit, anger and frustration coursing through her vein. She finally found the exit and burst through it and stumbled out into the moon-drenched street. She stopped and looked around frantically, '_Where the fuck do I go now?!' _

She felt a familiar warmth on her shoulder, she spun around to see Sebastian standing there with an expression of confusion and anger, "Clary? What just happened?!"

She didn't know why but tears of frustration, anger, sadness and so many more emotions that she couldn't comprehend, started streaming down her cheeks, "I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!"

He stepped closer to her, pulling her against his body, he brushed a few strands of her fiery hair behind her ear, confusion in his voice, "What are you talking about?"

She shoved him off, "THIS! THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT! I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD MAKE ME FEEL THAT WAY, MAKE ME FEEL THAT... THAT ... THAT MAGICAL, ALIVE FEELING! BUT NONE OF THAT MATTERS WHEN NOTHING HAPPENS, WHEN ALL YOU DO IS MAKE ME FEEL ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED! I HATE FEELING LIKE THAT! AND IT'S WRONG! IT'S SO WRONG! I KEEP ASKING MYSELF WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME BUT I'VE REALISED THAT NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME! IT'S YOU! IT'S YOU THAT'S WRONG!"

They stared at each other for a moment, she could see that he was hurt although he a trying so hard to hide it.

She pulled the shirt across her body so she wasn't so exposed, her voice was softer now, "Take me back to your place."

He obliged and started walking.

The whole way back they walked in complete silence, Sebastian unlocked the house and opened the door. They entered the house still in complete silence. She walked up the steps and Sebastian followed. They both entered his bedroom; Sebastian closed the door behind them. He went over to his closet and started getting changed into a pair of grey sweat pants and loose white tank-top singlet, Clary didn't notice what he was doing because she started shoving her stuff back into her bag.

Sebastian turned around to see her packing, "What are you doing?"

She didn't turn around to look at him, "Going home." She pulled out her stele to draw the portal rune.

She turned around as she felt Sebastian's grip on her arm, "You don't have to go."

She looked into his deep eyes, she could see what she had seen when she watched him in the training room, she could see there was something broken in him, "yes I do."

His eyes were cold and full of pain, "You can't leave me."

She struggled trying to get out of his grip, she winced as it grew tighter, "Sebastian let go of my arm!"

He moved his grip so he was holding both of her shoulders, his grip growing tighter and tight, "You can't leave me!"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Those words seemed to click something in him, he released his grip and backed away, his hands were slightly shaking his eyes filled with pain. In complete panic Clary drew the portal rune and jumped through it, picturing her bedroom.

She stumbled into her bedroom, her comfortable, familiar bedroom, her desk, her bed, her warm bed, and her sketch books- the windows to her heart. She spun around as she heard a pair of footsteps behind her, she saw Sebastian standing in front of the now closed portal.

Anger grew in her, "What are you doing here!?"

He lifted up his hand, he was holding her sketch pad, "I thought you might want this back."

She yanked it out of his hand and held it close to her chest, "Ok. Now leave!"

He stepped closer to her, "We need to talk about this."

Before she could answer she heard a smug but stern voice, "My, my, my, what do we have here?"

The both looked towards the doorway, there stood a figure. He was leanings on the door frame, arms crossed, he was wearing bright blue skinny jeans, purple combat boots and a fluorescent green fish-net singlet, his dark hair with blue streaks was sticking up in different directions, he was covered in glitter.

"Magnus?"

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	14. Chapter 14

**uneditted.**

**WHOOO 100 REVIEWS!**

**here it is, Chapter 14. **

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 14**

"Magnus?"

Magnus' eyes were stern; he snapped his fingers and Sebastian stood frozen.

Clary was shocked and confused, "Magnus what are you doing here? I thought you went to Australia with the others."

His voice was harsh, "I was but then I overheard Alec saying he wasn't going if I was. His excuse was that he wouldn't be able to concentrate on their purpose for being there, I didn't want to be the reason he didn't go, it is more his duty than mine, him being a shadowhunter and all, so I convinced the Conclave to let me stay behind and I arranged for a friend to meet them there. When I got back home, I found out about your little portal over to Europe, not sure where, it was guarded quite well. I was worried when I got here, your draws were open and I could sense strong emotions lingering from earlier. I was curious to why you portaled to Europe and why you were so secretive about it. But now I know why."

She looked down in shame, Magnus stepped forward, he stood with authority, "Clary why were you with him? And why didn't you tell the Clave about he whereabouts?"

His eyes grew darker with a tinge if concern, "Clary! Why were you with him?"

Clary flinched away; she had never heard Magnus talk like this. Suddenly his nose wiggled, he sniffed the air, his cat eyes appeared, his eyes no longer had a tinge of concern they were full of anger, he raised his voice, he was starting to scare Clary, "Clary why do I smell SEX on you?!"

Her hands were shaking, a tear rolled down her face, she was till avoiding his gaze, her lower lip started to tremble, he gripped her arm, causing her to look up at his anger filled eyes, "Clary what did you do?!"

She dropped to her knees, she never thought of the consequences until now, she was crying uncontrollably.

Magnus slowly bent down and placed a soft hand on her shoulder, his voice was now a lot calmer and filled with concern, "Clary... Did he do something to you? Did he hurt you?"

Her mind started racing, '_No! It wasn't like that! You don't understand how he makes me feel! It's not like that!' _But she couldn't say that so she had to lie, she slowly nodded, tears streaming even faster, but not because 'he hurt her' but because she betrayed him. Magnus wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest, she leaned into his comfort.

Suddenly she got a chilling hand on her back and heard a familiar voice, "Clary? What's wrong? Clary what happened?"

_'Simon?' _Before she could reply Magnus answered, "We'll talk about this later but do me a favour would you mind decapitating him for me?"

Simon was confused, "Who?"

Magnus released from the embrace and looked around, Clary felt a wave of relief, '_He got away!_' But hid it well, she flung herself into Simon's arms, even though he was cold he still provided a calming warmth.

...

Clary was lying on her bed, pretending to sleep but she was really listening to the conversation outside her door, there were mumbles and then she heard Simon yelling, "WHAT!? I'M GONNA KILL HIM! IM GONNA RIP HIM TO PIECES AND THEN HEAL HIM AND THEN RIP TO PIECES AGAIN! I'LL HAVE HIM BEGGING TO BE KILLED!"

She then heard Magnus, "I know! I know! He deserves to die; he has deserved to die for a very long time! But we have to be here for her, we don't want to make it worse for Clary. We need to alert the others that he's not in Australia and about what happened. You call Isabel, Alec and Jace and I'll call Jocelyn, Luke and the others." She then heard the faint sound of dialling and ringing and lots of mumbling.

_'What have I done! I've betrayed Sebastian, I've cheated on Jace, I'm lying to all my loved ones. How could I do something like that?' _

She needed a shower; she got up and went for one.

After scrubbing clean, she dumped her clothes in the bottom of her closet and got dressed in a plain white, loose fitting pyjama shirt and grey shorts, she climbed into bed and let slumber take her.

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	15. Chapter 15

**unedited**

**This is a small chapter but i did post at the same time as Chapter 14 to even it out :) **

**Here it is! Hope you like it!**

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 15**

Clary woke suddenly to a loud noise from down the hall, she then heard yelling, she could barely make out who was who.

She heard her mum crying and then heard a familiar voice, Jace, "WHAT! IM GONNA KILL HIM! IM GONNA MAKE HIM REGRET HE EVER TOUCHED HER!"

She was now sitting up in her bed hugging her knees to her chest, tears started streaming, _'What have I done?_' Her bedroom door suddenly swung open. There stood Jace, she had only ever seen him like this once before, his eyes were filled with so much emotion; anger, sadness, despair and self hatred. They stared at each other for a moment, not saying a word, he then slowly made his way over to her and he sat down on the end of the bed, looking at her with so much despair and sadness.

His voice was nothing like before, it was soft and full of sadness, "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault." It wasn't, it wasn't even true!

"But it is, if I was here, he wouldn't have come and got you, he wouldn't of..." She could see the pain and guilt in his eyes; she hated herself, why did she say that? She didn't even say that he did 'that' to her she just nodded in answer to Magnus' question and he assumed from there.

Jace didn't touch her, he was afraid, _'Jace is never afraid._' He just looked at her with those sad golden eyes, "Do you need anything?"

She hesitated but then decided she knew what she needed, "I... I think I want to just get some sleep."

He nodded in compliance and walked towards the door, just before he closed the door behind him he stopped and looked at her, she wasn't looking, she was already lying down in bed, but she knew he was looking at her, "I love you Clary..."

She didn't reply, she did love him, she always will, but the guilt was to overwhelming that if she attempted to talk she'd burst into tears. She heard the door close and Jace's footsteps disappear down the hallway.

_'What do I do?_' She thought about it and the prayed that it still worked, she bit down as hard as possible on her lower lip, causing it to split, she could feel the darkness coming as soon as her tainted blood touched her sinful tongue.

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	16. Chapter 16

**unedited**

**Here it is, Chapter 16.**

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 16**

What lit up around her was not a room, not a street but a long pebble beach that guarded a giant lake. She looked out at the water for a moment, '_I think I've been her... I'm sure of it... Lake Lyn_?' She looked along the beach to see a figure sitting down, looking out at the water, '_Sebastian_!' She started to walk over to him, she wasn't sure how he was going to react after what she did to him.

She slowly sat down next to him; hesitating for a moment, "I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do."

A half smile crept onto his face, "Don't be, you did what you had to do, it was beautifully evil. They still trust you when you know they shouldn't but yet you didn't tell them what we were actually doing, that you came willingly," he was now leaning over her, running hand up her leg, "that you wanted me." he placed a soft kiss on her neck.

She was trying to remain focused, guilt still coursing through her, "But now they're coming after you and they're even more determined than before."

He looked at her with a sly grin, he brushed a few strands of fiery hair off her face, "What, don't you have faith in your big brother?"

For some reason the words 'big brother' made her want him more, it would have been a very different reaction a week ago. She pulled him down into a passionate kiss. This is what she wanted, she wanted to stay in this moment forever, but unfortunately the need for air came to strong handle, Sebastian pulled away first to catch his breath, they stared into each other's eyes for a moment and then a single tear rolled down Clary's cheek.

Sebastian grew concerned, "What's wrong?"

She wiped it away, "What am I going to do? I mean it's hard enough lying to them, what am I going to do if they do find you? How am I going to watch them kill you? I know you've done a lot of evil things and probably still do, but I honestly don't care anymore, I just... I just need you, I CAN'T lose you!"

A smile, a genuine human smile spread across Sebastian's face, he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers ever so lightly, "I'll never leave you."

She smiled back at him, playing with a bit of his hair, "So, your in Idris?"

He rolled off and sat next to her, "No actually, just like you I'm only here mentally."

Clary raised herself up on her elbows, "Really? Then, where are you?"

"Nowhere you would have heard of."

"But how am I gonna get to see you?"

The corner of his mouth went up into a half smile, "Like this. Just bite your lip and we'll be together."

She huffed in frustration, "It's not the same!"

He leaned over and kissed her again, "I know it's not the same but we have to be more careful from now on."

He started kissing her neck, "Fffffiiiinnnneee. But what am I supposed to when I get back home."

He was still trailing kisses down her neck, a little moan escaped her, "Just. Keep doing. What your doing. Keep. Playing. This facade. Until I figure out what my next move is."

She sighed in annoyance, "OK."

Sebastian kissed her once again on the lips, cupping her cheek in his hand, "You should go back now." He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Close your eyes Clary."

She obeyed and closed them, opening them when she sensed she was back in her room. She rolled over in annoyance to see Jace sitting in the corner, leaning on the wall, fast asleep. She looked at him, tears starting to form, '_How could I have done this to you? I don't deserve you? I shouldn't be falling for him, I should be with you? How can I do what I'm doing? After all we've been through...'_ She rolled over so she wasn't looking at Jace anymore, she started sobbing quietly. She suddenly felt strong arms wrap around her and a familiar warmth hit her, '_Sebastian_?' She suddenly heard a soothing voice, "Shhh, shhh, I'm here, I'll protect you..." '_...Jace_.' She started crying even more, she had thought it was Sebastian and a small part of her wanted it to be, she hated herself for thinking that. She rolled around and buried her face in his chest, trying to make the tears stop. He pulled her closer in an attempt to comfort her. The tears eventually stopped falling, and the sobbing quieted. Just before slumber took her she thought '_this is how it should be. This is what's right.' _

She fell asleep with Jace's arms wrapped around her and her head buried against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. This was right, was peaceful.

...

Clary sleepily opened her eyes, she snuggled into the warm body that was wrapped around her, she loved this feeling, she loved the feeling of comfort and security, she loved being with... '_Jace_?' She moved away slightly so she could see his face, he was so peaceful, a few strands of his golden locks hung in his face, her hand, without consent, reached up and gently brushed them off his face. He made a little noise at her touch and started to open his eyes sleepily.

Clary wrapped her arm around his waist, a smile crept onto his face, "Good morning."

She smiled weakly, "Morning."

Jace leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, she felt her stomach twist as their lips touched, it felt wrong but it also felt wrong that it felt wrong.

She persevered and put on a smile, "You have morning breath."

He raised an eyebrow at her, he was still half asleep, "You're one to talk."

His comment reminded her of Sebastian, '_Sebastian.._.' She hated herself for what she was doing, for lying here with Jace, for lying to his face, acting like everything was fine, like she still felt the same, but she did, she did love Jace just not as much anymore, she would always love Jace he was her first love. When she used to think about her future all she saw was Jace, but now she did still see Jace but there was also Sebastian. She felt her eyes start to water but tried her best to push it away; she buried her head back into Jace's warm, familiar chest.

She mumbled to him, "Stay. Let's just stay like this."

He knew she was hurting, so he just pulled her closer to him; he kissed the top of her head, and simply answered with, "Ok."

She inhaled his scent, his comforting scent, she embraced his warmth, his familiar warmth, she melted at his touch, his tender touch. She let the whole world around her disappear; all that mattered right now was that she was with Jace. Clary was still exhausted from the last few days so she let slumber take her, once again she fell asleep with Jace's arms wrapped around her and her head buried against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Nothing else mattered, this is all that mattered.

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	17. Chapter 17

**unedited**

**Here is Chapter 17. Hope you like it!**

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 17**

Clary woke at the absence of warmth; she slowly sat up, rubbing her tired eyes. She looked around the room to see if Jace was there, but he wasn't. She shrugged the covers off, went over to her window and pulled back the curtain. The sun was setting; she had pretty much slept all day. She huffed at the wasted time but she knew she had needed it. She decided she go and get something to eat, her stomach had grumbled and made her realise she hadn't eaten anything for the last two days except for that faerie drug ant the Bone Chandelier. Her heart ached as she thought of Sebastian. She entered the kitchen to see Simon sitting on the bench, legs crossed playing on his phone, as soon as the door shut behind her Simon was off the bench and giving her a hug.

It was starting to drag on, "You can let go now Simon."

He slowly pulled back, his face riddled with concern, "Are you ok? Is there anything I can do?"

She thought for a moment and then a childish grin crept onto her face, "Make me pancakes?"

He smiled back at her and went over to the cupboard to get the pancake mixture, "I see you're feeling a lot better."

She sat down on the stool and sighed to herself, _'I hate lying like this_.' "Yeah... Mostly, I don't think it'll ever be fully better." '_I shouldn't be able to lie this easily and to my Best Friend!' _

They made some simple chitchat while Simon cooked the pancakes; she caught up on his and izzy's sitution and apparently Alec and Magnus hooked up once but they both refused to get back together and that they just keep saying it was a one time drunken hook up, but Isabelle knew Alec wasn't drunk just depressed about him and Magnus and she knew Magnus wasn't drunk because warlocks don't get drunk. When the pancakes were done Clary ate them all within the span of 10minutes, she hadn't realised just how hungry she was until now.

Her and Simon were washing up, he was washing she was drying. As Clary dried the last plate, Simon unplugged the sink and let the soapy water drain away.

He turned to her with worry in his eyes, "Clary..."

She put the plate in the cupboard and looked at him curiously, "yeah?"

"I'm your best friend right? You'd tell me anything?"

This was a stupid question but she was hesitant, '_why is he asking this_?' "Of course..."

He was awkward, he was always awkward but now he was nervous, she could tell because he was fiddling with the edge of his shirt, "So what aren't you telling me?"

She didn't quite understand, "What are you talking about?"

"Clary I know you more than anyone else aside from your mum and even then I know a few things she doesn't, I can tell when you're keeping something from me, I can also tell that you're keeping it from everyone else as well... Clary what's going on?"

'_Crap_!' Her body filled with panic, she knew that if she opened her mouth she won't be able to lie again so she did what she knew, she squeezed her eyes shut and bit as hard as possible down on her bottom lip. She felt her knees give in as soon as the blood left her lip. She didn't fall to the cold ground though she fell into cold, soft arms and she heard Simon calling out to her as the darkness took her.

"Sebastian! Sebastian I need you!" She called out; she was standing in an empty warehouse. She felt the tears start to form again. She was shaking, before she knew it her knees gave in and she collapsed to the floor with that the tears fell once again. She was only crying for a moment before she felt strong-arms wrap around her, she leaned into the embrace.

Her ears tingled when she heard his voice, "Clary?! Clary what happened? What's wrong?!"

She pulled out of his arms and stood up in frustration, she wiped away the tears angrily, "I'm so sick of crying! I can't handle this anymore!"

Sebastian stood up, a bit confused, "What happened Clary?"

"Me and Simon were washing up, and then..." She choked back the tears, "and then he said he knew when I was keeping something from him and from others and then he asked me what I wasn't telling him and then it all just hit me and then I didn't know what to do so I came here and now I'm thinking that wasn't the greatest idea because Simon is probably freaking out and when I get back I'm gonna have to lie again and I just-" She was cut off by Sebastian lips on hers.

He pulled away, her mind was still racing, his voice was calm, "Now. I know that it's hard but I have a plan. Now I need you to go back and play the part, give me a few minutes and I'll fix this."

She slowly nodded, "What do I have to do?"

"Ok. They've taken you to the Institute, right now your body is in the infirmary, I have my people fighting off Magnus' attempts to figure out what's wrong with you but he's breaking through so you have to go soon, now I'm going to break in and 'steal' you, when I do you need to act like you're struggling. I already have people at your house packing your gear." She nodded her head, processing what he was telling her, he kissed her on the forehead, "ok you need to go now, good luck."

She closed her eyes once again.

She sensed that she was back, her eyes flung open and she abruptly sat up, she put on the act, she looked around panicked, "Where am I? What happened?"

Magnus, Isabel, Jace, and Simon were standing at the end of the bed; her eyes darted around the room.

She flinched as she felt a warm hand on her arm; it was Jace, "Clary... Just breath."

"What happened?"

"We're not sure but Magnus is trying to find out what happened, we think it might have something to do with Sebastian." Jace explained.

"Sebastian?" She started crying, she was getting good at this, maybe a bit too good.

She could see that no one knew what to do, just as Jace was about to pull her into a hug everyone's heads whipped around to the door, their was a huge BANG!

Standing in the doorway, surrounded by his demonic army, stood Sebastian with that wicked smirk across his face. Jace, without a second thought, lunged at Sebastian. Just before he hit him something struck his side causing him to collide with the wall. This started the fight. Everything was a blur, at some point Alec had come into the room and joined the fight. Her eyes suddenly fell on Sebastian, him and Jace were fighting like crazy. In one swift move Sebastian's fist contected with Jace's face, it was obviously a strong hit because it caused Jace to stumble back and hit his head on the wall, he collapsed to the ground, without realising it Clary let out a blood curdling scream, "JACE!"

Sebastian's spun around and locked his gaze on the fiery redhead girl sitting in the infirmary bed. He strode over to her, pushing through the fighting crowd. Her eyes kept darting between him and the struggling Jace. Sebastian grabbed Clary's wrist and dragged her off the bed, he pulled out his stele and started drawing the portal rune. Clary wasn't acting anymore she was actually scared, when she saw him and Jace fighting his eyes went black. Just before he dragged her into the portal she looked back at Jace his eyes were full of despair, he was watching the girl he loved being taken away from him '_how can I do this to him_?' But it was too late to turn back now, she was being shoved and pulled through the portal. She stumbled into a huge field.

She looked around to see Sebastian holding his hand out to her, "Come on, we're not there yet."

She took his hand hesitantly, he led her about a metre ahead, "Brace yourself." He pulled her into an invisible force, her ears popped and her jaw tightened but loosened up when she realised where she was, '_this... No it can't be...but it is... The Apartment?' _

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	18. Chapter 18

**unedited**

**So i've gotten a few questions about The Apartment- It's the Travelling Apartment from CoLS. It's not the EXACT same one, Sebastian recreated it. (as you'll soon learn from this chapter) **

**So here it is, Chapter 18 & i think you're gonna LOVE this chapter!**

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 18**

She turned to Sebastian confusion written across her face, he grinned that wicked grin and decide to explain, "I know what you're thinking, but no, it's not the Apartment. But it is exactly like it, I recreated it." He straightened his shoulders, he was proud if himself. He took her hand and led her through The Apartment, "It's basically the same as the last except with a few changes, for example, the weapons room is bigger, so is the training room and there isn't that room that father created for our mother." A shiver went down her spine at the words 'our mother' she thought she was over it but her mind kept racing back to the institute, Jace's eyes full of despair and Sebastian's empty black one. He hadn't noticed how she wasn't exactly jumping up and down at this. He stopped in front of a door and placed his hand on the handle, "but there is your room."

He turned the handle and swung the door open, they walked in and Clary felt the tears coming up again but quickly pushed them down. It was her room. Her room from Luke's house, pretty much the exact room except her bed was bigger and she had a nicer bed spread, their were two doors at the others side of the room, she assumed one was her cupboard but wasn't sure what the other was. She walked across the room, Sebastian at her side and opened the first door. It wasn't just a cupboard but a walk in wardrobe, she walked in and looked around in awe. There were all of her clothes from home but there were also beautiful dresses, gowns and expensive heels. She couldn't help but think of how jealous Isabel would be. She exited the wardrobe and closed the door behind her. She went over to the other door and opened it. She walked in and looked around at the modern en-suite, it even had a spar-bath. She looked around once again and then exited.

Sebastian broke the enduring silence, "Do you like it?"

She turned to him and plastered a smile on, "I love it."

He gripped her hips and pulled her to him, and started kissing her neck, "What do you say we 'Christian' this place."

She moved back, "Actually I think I need to be alone for a bit."

"Why?" His grasp hadn't left her hips.

Anger rose in her, "Why?! I've just abandoned and betrayed everyone I know and love. So I'm sorry if I don't feel like 'doing it' right now!" Her voice was harsh.

He yanked away, he wasn't happy, "Fine!"

She felt a pang of guilt as she saw the pain in his eyes, she walked over to him and laid her head on his chest, his arms wrapped around her, her voice was soft, "I'm sorry. I think I just need a good nights sleep and some time to process."

She leaned back and looked up at him, he sighed in defeat, "Ok." He kissed her head and walked towards the door, just before he closed it behind him, "I'll see you later." The door closed behind him.

As soon as the door closed Clary darted back to the wardrobe, she flung the door open and rushed in she looked though the dresses, '_Im sure I saw it! I swear it's here! Ah ha_!' She took the small black dress off the rack and hugged it close to her chest. She remembered the night she wore it, the night Jace said he remembered the most, the night he had first looked at her like that with those golden eyes. She walked over to her bed and collapsed on it. She gripped it tighter as the tears fell, '_Why am I doing this? Why did I leave? I want him but I love Jace. How could I have done this to him?_' The tears fell until they could fall no more and she slowly drifted off to sleep, still clutching the little black dress to her chest.

_Clary stared up at the clear blue sky, it was beautiful. She ran her fingers through the green blades of grass, inhaling the springtime scent. Suddenly Jace appeared above her, he knelt down so he was almost lying on top of her, his golden eyes twinkling and his sexy smile spread across his face. _

_"I love you Clary." _

_He leaned down and gently started kissing her. She slowly moved her hands around his neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. He slid his tongue across her lips asking for entrance and she allowed it. Their tongues danced like butterflies in the sunlight. She ran her fingers through his hair, slightly tugging on it causing him to deepen the kiss even more. He slowly started kissing her neck, sucking and slightly nibbling on her pulse making her let out a little moan. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back as he ran his hands across her body. She opened her eyes when he stopped kissing her, he was now looking down at her with lustful eyes, but not golden. _

_"I love you Clary." _

_She could hear it in his voice that it wasn't Jace, the face above her slowly started to morph into another familiar face, 'Sebastian?' _

_His smile turned into his wicked grin, "I love you Clary" _

Clary sat up abruptly, panting, her mind racing from the recent dream. She looked around her room; she was still clutching the little black dress. She looked at it for a moment and then slowly started to release her grip on it and finally shoved it into the draws next to her bed. She walked over to her en-suit and splashed water on her face, she looked at herself in the mirror, she had bed hair. She picked up the brush on the bench and quickly brushed it out and tied it up in a messy bun. She exited the bathroom and went into the wardrobe, she had realised she had been wearing the same clothes for the last two days. She looked around the enormous wardrobe and ended up deciding on a pair of black leggings, a pair of black ballet flats and a green t-shirt that had a Big Bang Theory quote on it, 'oh gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.' She smiled as she thought of Simon who had bought it for her for her 13th birthday, she had been going through a faze; she loved that show and even now, every now and then she would re-watch it and get hooked into a marathon episodes. She got changed and exited. She hesitated for a moment before she turned the door handle and stepped out into the hallway. She looked around and saw the glass staircase at the end if the hallway, she started heading towards it. Once she reached the bottom she saw Sebastian sitting at the table reading a book, he had heard her coming, he looked up at her and smiled, his eyes travelled over her body and then focused on her shirt and a confused look pasted onto his face.

She smiled and decided to explain the only way she knew how, "It's a mundane thing."

He shrugged and went back to reading his book, she was a bit confused she would have thought he would have her pinned against the wall right now, ripping off her clothes, but no, he was reading... just reading. She went over and sat next to him, she watched him curiously, he seemed so simple reading a book, as she watched him her hand itched to draw.

The corner of his mouth curled upwards, his eyes not leaving the book, "I know that I'm gorgeous but it's kind of hard to focus when a beautiful girl is staring at me."

Before she thought about it she leaned over and whispered seductively in his ear, "Well then do something about it."

With that he dropped the book, grabbed her waist and pulled her onto his lap, all in one swift movement. She let out a little yelp at the sudden action. He looked at her teasingly, she couldn't stand it; she wrapped her arms around his neck and clashed their lips together, their tongues clashing with a fiery passion. His hands slid up her shirt and started teasing her breasts. She let out a little moan as he tugged on one of her aroused nipples, he smiled against their kiss.

She pulled back panting, he started sucking on her pulse causing her to throw her head back in pleasure and moan once again, he again smiled against her neck.

"Why do you do that?"

He stopped kissing her and looked at her, confused, "Do what?"

"When ever I moan or make a noise you always smile, why?" She looked at him curiously.

A sly grin crept on to his face, "Well, Clarissa," he leaned down and started trailing kisses along her neck, "I. Just. Love the noises. I can. Make. My. Little sister. Make."

"Are we really gonna do this?" Her voice a bit annoyed.

He stopped and looked at her, "What are you talking about?"

"The whole little sister and big brother thing."

"Well, it turns me on and I know it turns you on."

She slightly blushed because it was true, something about the wrongness of it made it feel so right.

A sly smirk crept onto her face, she wrapped her arms around his neck and started kissing his neck, "well, big brother, how about you take your little sister upstairs and 'Christian' this place."

"You know to Christian a place properly, you have to do it in every room."

She looked at him seductively, "We should probably get started then."

He clashed his lips against hers once again, gripping her thighs and standing up, her legs wrapped around his waist. He walked up the stairs and entered her bedroom. Once the door was shut behind them he pressed her against it, she could feel how much he wanted her. She unwrapped her legs from his waist and turned around so he was pressed against the door instead of her. She slid down his body so she was on her knees and slowly undid his pants. She looked up and met his lustful eyes with her hungry ones and in one swift motion she yanked his pants off along with his briefs, exposing his alert giant. She looked at it in awe and the slowly started rubbing it. She picked up the pace after few rubs, Sebastian was looking down at her in awe, he loved it when she took control. He threw his head back and moaned as he felt her mouth wrap around him, her tongue teasing him. Each time she was going deeper and deeper, until he was completely in. She moved up and down him causing him to get closer and closer to release.

"Clary! I'm about to! I'm!" He release into her mouth, he looked down at his little sister a bit shocked at what she just did. She looked up at him, happy with herself as she licked her lips. She loved the taste of him, she never thought it would be this good. She slowly slid up him, her hands feeling him under his shirt and then she quickly yanked it over his head and discarded it to the floor. She looked at his drop-dead gorgeous body and her body yearned for him.

"I think I'm at a bit of a disadvantage here." He said tugging on the hem of her shirt.

She smiled and took it off willingly, exposing her perky breasts (she didn't bother with a bra that day). His hands immediately started rubbing them making her moan once again. She pulled him to her and smashed their lips together, there naked chests creating heat. His hand slid down her pants and started pursuing her wetness; she pressed her self against his hand. Sebastian, with his other hand he grabbed her waist and pushed her over to the bed, never releasing from their kiss. He laid her down on the bed and crawled on top of her. He pulled back from the kiss and yanked her pants off along with her panties, they were both completely naked in front of each other. He looked down at his sister in awe as she looked up at her brother in lust. He then trailed kisses up her hot skin, from her belly button to her neck and then up to her lips, their tongues dancing once again. His hand slid down her body and started teasing her. He brushed his thumb over her clit causing her to bite his bottom lip and moan loader than before. He played with her for a moment and the moved down her body and gripped her thighs, pulling her close to his face, she watched him as he kissed her inner thighs, she was about to tell him he was such a tease but instead arched her back and moaned as his tongue rolled around her. Her moans getting louder and louder. She let out a groan as his finger entered her, he thrusted in and out, finding her g-spot causing her to let out a gasp as he hit it and started teasing it, his thumb rolling her bud.

"Do you like that little sister?"

She wanted to answer but only moans, groans and the occasional whimper and gasp escaped her lips.

"So, do you like that because if you don't I'll stop." He was mocking her.

She was able to stutter, "N-N-No!"

"Oh, so you do like that?" He asked as he rubbed her spot more forcefully now.

"YES!" She threw her head back at the sensation, "YES! OH GOD! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I NEED YOU! I NEED YOU NOW!"

"Sorry, what? I didn't quite get that." He mocked her, he loved that he had her like this.

"Stop being such a tease!" She reached down and pulled him up, she kissed him with passion, her tongue buzzed as she tasted herself on him. Clary pulled him closer so she was whispering in her ear, "I need you inside me!"

With that Sebastian grinned slyly and positioned himself on top of her, their eyes locked, he probed at her before he slid into her tight quarters. A little whimper escaped her lips as he entered her, she felt like she was being torn apart, but the pain was soon over taken by sensation as he moved in and out of her, she wrapped her legs around the back of his and her hands around his neck, pulling him deeper into her. He went deeper and deeper with each thrust, she really didn't realise how big he was until now or maybe it was because she was small and practically unused aside form the one time her and Jace were together and the other time where she was so sexually frustrated she had snuck into Isabel's room and 'borrowed' one of her 'toy'. This was different though, this was better! He was now fully in her, she felt him rub against her spot with each thrust. He was getting faster and faster, both panting faster and faster. After moments of sensation she felt herself tighten around him, she couldn't hold back anymore, she arched her back and muttered his name as she released on him, tightening around his giant, squirting her juices everywhere. He soon released himself into her hot gem. He slowly pulled out of her and collapsed on the bed next to her. They lay panting, she could feel that he left a gaping hole in her and she couldn't help but think of how sore she is going to be tomorrow. She cringed at the thought. She looked over to see that he was staring at her with a wicked grin. She couldn't help but grin back, she reached over and ran her fingers through his now sweat laced hair. She felt her muscles start to ache instantly.

"I'm gonna go for a bath." She sat up and bit her bottom lip to stop herself from whimpering at the pain. She persevered and walked over to the bathroom. Closing the door behind her, she let out a little gasp from the pain, '_how could it be so enjoyable yet so painful_?' She asked herself as she ran the hot water and poured in the lavender scented bubble mixture. The tub soon filled up with relaxing warm water and bubbles. She turned the tap off and lowered her self in; a little sigh of comfort escaped her lips as her sore hymen touched the relaxing water. She let her body sink in so the water reached up to her shoulders, she closed her eyes and let her muscles relax.

After a few moments of blissful silence she opened her eyes to see Sebastian leaning against the door-frame, arms folded and completely naked, "Can I join?"

She spoke before she thought, she seemed to be doing that a lot lately, "Sure."

He strolled over to the tub and lowered himself in next to her, his arm draped around her shoulder. He leaned down and started kissing her neck; the pleasure was back. As he sucked on her pulse his hand slid down to her thigh causing her to cringe away at the touch of her sore muscles.

He looked at her confused and slightly worried, "What's wrong?"

She looked down in shame, "I'm... umm... I'm a bit sore that's all."

Clary thought he would be disappointed or he'd tease her for being so weak but no he seemed to be fine with it, he shrugged, "Ok."

She looked up at him curiously, "Really?"

He slightly chuckled, "What don't you think I can handle not having sex for one moment."

"No it's not that... It's just... I didn't think you'd...um... That you'd" she was trying to figure out a way to say it without insulting him, "that you'd understand that easily."

He moved over to her and tucked a few strands of her damp red hair behind her ear, "I understand, I could feel that it's been a while and assumed that you and him only did it that once, considering that condition and all so of course you're going to be sore after that."

She was slightly shocked at how understanding and compliant he was; he smiled at her expression, "don't look at me like that." He leaned down and kissed her gently, a sly grin swept across his face as he pulled away form the kiss, "Plus we have plenty of time to train you up to withstand my magnificence."

She splashed water at him playfully, "Now you're just being cocky."

He splashed her back playfully, "I'm always cocky."

This led to a splashing war that left the bathroom soaked and it also led to another make out session. As they got out of the now half empty tub Clary wrapped a soft robe around her and laid down on he bed, Sebastian just wrapped a towel around his waist and laid down next to her. Clary rested her head on his chest, her fingers tracing the white lines where runes once were. Slumber welcomed Clary as she listened to the beating of Sebastian's heart as well as feeling his chest rise and fall with every breath.

It was nice and peaceful, it was just like being with _'...Jace_.'

** Did you like it or did you LOVE it!? and there's more where that came from! Please keep those awesome reviews coming!**


	19. Chapter 19

**unedited**

**Here is chapter 19, Hope you like it! **

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 19**

Clary moaned as he slid his hand down her body and sucked on her pulse, she thought of how quickly everything happened; she had woken up laying alone in her bed, the fluffy robe wrapped around her, she went downstairs to find Sebastian sitting on the couch flicking through the channels.

"I don't understand mundane television."

She didn't know what came over her, but the next thing she knew she had her hand down his pants and was straddling him with her hips.

His hand slid into her robe and started tugging her soft breast, she moaned at the pleasure. Their tongues danced with passion, she felt him growing against her and she instantly got wet as she remembered last night. She wanted him so bad. She sat up, still straddling him, his eyes were full of hunger. Watched his gaze cover her body as she seductively untied the robe and let it drop from her shoulders. She loved the way he was looking at her, admiring her. She slammed back down and clashed their lips together, his hand slid over her body, clutching the robe and throwing it across the room. She looked at him with a wicked grin as she took his hand and placed it where she wanted it. He slyly grinned at the way she took control; he obeyed and started rolling her bud between his fingers. She flung her head back and moaned with every stroke. With his free hand he reached down and started pulling his pants down, he pulled it down to his knees, he was completely alert. Clary could feel him as he rubbed against her, teasing her, _'He's such a tease'_ she thought as she felt her self become dripping wet. She moved so they were aligned and without any thought to how big he was she plunged herself on top of him. She gasped at the pain, and she became angry with herself for not being able to handle him.

He must have been able to see what she was thinking, "It'll take time to get used to."

She wasn't comforted by this, so she thrusted herself as hard a she could up and down him and it worked like it did last night, the pain was quickly overtaken by pleasure. Their heart rate and breathing quickened as she rode him with power. She could feel her muscles tighten with each thrust, she was moaning, almost screaming with pleasure and to Clary's surprise so was Sebastian. He was gripping her thighs, pulling her down harder each time. She started to feel herself tighten around him; she threw her head back and screamed his name as she release onto him. She panted and looked down at him, he must have thought that she would get off him and recover because his eyes filled with surprise as she started up again. Sure she probably needed to recover but she didn't want to leave him unsatisfied. She was pleased that after just 5 more thrusts he hushed her name as he released his warmth into her core. She collapsed onto his chest as he slowly pulled out of her.

They lay together panting and then Clary stated with a hint of amusement, "two rooms down, how many rooms?

Sebastian smirked, "ten."

Clary lifted her head and looked at him seductively, "eight to go."

**Did you like it? Please Review!**


	20. Chapter 20

**unedited**

**Here it is, Chapter 20. Hope you like it!**

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 20**

They sat eating their waffles, staring at each other with lust in their eyes. Clary and Sebastian finished their food and just sat there looking at each other. Clary was wearing her robe from earlier and Sebastian in nothing but a pair of track pants. She slowly rose to her feet and walked over around the table, running her fingers along the edge, staring at her big brother with lustful eyes. She came over to him and got down on her knees, he didn't say anything he just watched in awe at how she was behaving. She never unlocked their eyes as she ran her hands up and down his thighs to tease him. She slowly ran them cross the front and then reached for the drawstring and slowly untied it. She then wrapped her fingers around the top of his pants and slowly started to pull them down. Once they were off she ran her hands back up his legs, teasing him. Clary slowly wrapped her hand around his cock and started rubbing up and down. As she felt the pre-cum on her hand she leaned forward and licked it all the way to the top, once she reached it she swirled her tongue around his juicy top. Sebastian let a moan out, she was so hot right now and doing all of this without breaking the intense eye contact made it even hotter. He broke the eye contact and threw his head back and moaned as she devoured him with her warm mouth, her tongue dancing around him. He felt oddly proud of her that she could fit him in her mouth and even prouder when she deep-throated him.

He could feel himself coming up, "Clary. Clary. CLARY!" He exploded once again in her mouth. He looked down to see she was looking at him with a childish grin, he asked "what was that for?"

She shrugged, "I was hungry." She grinned wickedly at him.

'_God she's so hot_!' Sebastian grabbed the back of her head and slammed their lips together, bringing her to sit on his lap. As the kiss grew deeper Sebastian slid his hand into her robe and slid it across her body, remembering every inch. He slowly made his way to her core; to no surprise she was already wet. He started rubbing her bud in between two fingers making her moan and pant. He then stopped and pulled her off his lap and carried her to the kitchen bench and laid her down on top of it, opening her robe so he could get the full view of his little sister's luscious body, she may have been small but she was sexy, especially like this. He leaned over and kissed her once more and then got down on his knees. He gripped her legs and spread them as wide as possible. Her looked at her in awe and then started slowly rubbing her bud with his thumb as he kissed her inner thigh. She moaned at his touch, wanting more. She let out a louder moan as he took her in his mouth, his tongue swirling around her bud, sucking on it making her moan and pant. She arched her back and gasped a little as two fingers slid into her warmth, thrusting themselves in and out. Her moaning and panting got louder and louder as he hit her spot each time. He looked at his screaming sister on the bench and smiled, he loved how he made her scream, moan, groan, yelp, gasp and so much more.

"Come on Clary! Cum for me! Cum for your big brother! You know you want to!"

She couldn't hold it back any more, her muscles tightened around his hand, her body shook and she arched her back and screamed as she released, her juices squirting everywhere. She lay on the cool marble bench, panting, attempting to regain strength. She looked down to see Sebastian licking his fingers and then licking her legs clean of herself.

"Mmm, you're delicious." He smiled devilishly.

She tried to reply with a snarky retort but she couldn't even talk, her body was too exhausted. Her eyes started to droop; suddenly she felt strong warm arms lift her up. Sebastian carried her back to her room, bridal style. He opened the door and placed her down on the bed and tucked her in. As soon as her head touched the pillow she was consumed by sleep. She felt a warm hand brush her hair off her face and then soft lips on her forehead. She wanted to kiss him but she physically couldn't. She was too tired, and was quickly drifting off into her dreamland.

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	21. Chapter 21

**unedited**

**Here it is, Chapter 21. Hope you like it!**

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 21**

Sebastian hit her spot like always making her moan, she moved up and down him his hands holding her tight against his body, her legs wrapped around his waist, hot water covering their bodies. Clary reached up and gripped the top of the shower door and screamed his name as she released, which was immediately followed by Sebastian's release. She slowly slid off him and stood on her own shaky legs. She hated when she got off him like that she could immediately tell the height difference, she hated being short it made making out a lot harder. She turned around and continued her shower, Sebastian showering as well, his body pressed against hers, he leaned down and started trailing kisses down her neck and mumbled, "You're amazing."

She smiled, he told her this every time they had shower sex, "I know."

She started washing her hair, she thought about the last three weeks, how they have fallen into a sea of passion, lust and sex ALOT of sex. They had now done it in every room; the lounge room, her room, the kitchen and the basement were constantly revisited. Only once had her and Sebastian been in his room but that was mainly because of his mess, she refused to do it in such an untidy place after that one time. After they had finished in there she swore she saw something move and from then on she hadn't been back since. But it really didn't matter considering they both sleep in Clary's bed most of the time; he even had some drawers and closet space. She thought about how the basement was their, and she's kind of ashamed to admit, it was their role-playing place or were they do the REALLY kinky stuff. The others were just convenient.

Sebastian stepped out of the shower and Clary followed, he wrapped a towel around his hips and looked back at Clary, he could see she was eye rapping him; she seemed to do it every time they got out of the shower. He smiled as he did the same to her, he still couldn't believe how she had changed recently, the girl he met in Alicante was nothing like this, sure she was driven and was strong but now she was sexy and flirty, the girl back then would blush at what she was doing now. But every now and then she would blush and it would only make him want her more. He also couldn't believe how loud she was, he never pegged her for a screamer.

"Are you going to put a towel on?" He asked with a sly grin.

She looked down at her dripping wet naked body and slightly blushed, he couldn't help but think _'there it is_!' She reached over and wrapped the towel around her. They walked out of the bathroom and over to the wardrobe. They both started getting changed. Clary was putting her brown shorts on when Sebastian said, "Hey babe."

"Yeah." She put on her bra.

"I thought I should let you know that..." He then rushed the next few words hopping she'd be too confused to understand, "I have to go away for five days on business."

Unfortunately she heard everything clearly, she spun around, still just wearing her shorts and bra, "WHAT?!"

"I have to go away on business,"

"For how long?" Her voice was sharp.

"Five days." He looked at her hoping she wouldn't get upset.

"FIVE DAYS!" It's not like he hadn't gone away before its just not for five days it was hard enough when he was away for two she was pretty sure she'd kill herself if he was away for five days, she was sure she won't be able to handle the sexual frustration!

She death stared him, he couldn't help but smile, "I've made plans though."

"What do you mean you made plans?" She eyed him curiously.

He grinned, "You'll see."

It was the next morning Sebastian was getting ready to leave, she still want happy about this. She was standing in the lounge room sulking as she watched him getting everything ready.

"Please don't go, I don't think I can go without you for five days or at least leave me your lower half so I have something to do." The corner of her mouth curled up.

He looked at her over-dramatically shocked, "Is that all I am to you? I'm just your sex toy that you use and throw away when you're sick of me!"

"Pretty much." He smiled and walked over to her, gripping her hips and pulling her into a passionate kiss.

He pulled back, "Close your eyes, I have a surprise for you."

She closed her eyes willingly, she suddenly heard the sound of heels and then she suddenly felt warm lips on hers. She opened her eyes as the kiss finished, she was consumed with joy as she saw who it was.

She squealed and hugged the tall blond girl standing in front of her, "JACINTA! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE!"

Jacinta was their threesome partner, they had picked her up in Australia at one of the night clubs in Melbourne, she had long wavy blond hair and strong blue eyes, and had bigger boobs than Clary but she was Clary's height except unlike Clary she wore heels all the time which made her look taller. Another thing about Jacinta was she was the only other person she had met since she ran away with Sebastian so she was like the only person she talked to but that was only when she was actually around, she was kind of like Isabelle if you compare their personalities. Clary turned around to see Sebastian smiling at her, "I thought you might like it."

Clary answered childishly, "Thank you."

Jacinta then walked over to Sebastian, who was leaning against the wall, and disappeared around the corner.

Sebastian was till smirking, "oh and one more thing... Meet Charlotte."

Jacinta stepped back into the room with a girl at her side, she looked a lot like her, she had the same blue eyes and blond hair as Jacinta, as well has the same sort of bust size, she was also wearing heels so she was the same height as Jacinta, Clary thought she must be around the same height as her when she didn't have heels on also.

"Clary meet my sister, Charlotte."

Charlotte strolled over to Clary and kissed her, Clary was a bit taken back by this sudden action, Charlotte pulled back and had a lustful look in her eyes, "You must be Clary. I've heard a lot about you."

She looked at her curiously, "You have?"

"Yeah, for example, I was told that you're a screamer." Clary slightly blushed, Charlotte then leaned down and whispered seductively in Clary's ear, "I like screamers"

Clary snapped out of her awkwardness and also horniness as Sebastian interupted, "Hey now! Don't go turning her completely she's still mine."

Clary giggled and ran over to him and jumped into his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck and kissed him excitedly.

He pulled back from the intense kiss and pouted, "I have to go now."

Clary pouted in response. She slowly slid down off him, she gave him one more quick kiss and then watched him leave but before he did he reminded her, "Now remember they are for you and you only, they're here to do what you want, whether it be cook you food or ... Well you know." He winked at her causing her to slightly blush. He wanted her so bad right now, he wished he didn't have to go, but he did. He turned on his heal and walked out of the apartment.

Clary turned around, mopping a little but that was quickly changed as Jacinta grinned at her, "Now let's have some fun."

Clary took her hand and she took Charlotte's. Clary led them up the stairs and into her room. She opened the door to find a black box with dark red satin ribbon. Attached to the ribbon was a card that read, '**_Have fun!' _**

Clary opened the box and looked inside, all three girls giggled as they saw what was inside. Clary and Charlotte started taking out the toys, chains and ropes as Jacinta picked up and read a note that was inside,

**_-Jacinta _**

**_You know how she likes it. _**

**_-Sebastian _**

Jacinta smiled and looked up at Clary, she did know how she liked it but there were many different ways that she liked but by the looks of it she knew what he was talking about considering he had given her toys and ropes. She thought about the first time she had met Clary, something about that red headed girl drew her in, her size, her figure, her eyes, she was sweet but had a dark side and she also knew what it was like to fall for your sibling, she looked over at Charlotte who was flirting with Clary.

She walked over to the girls, "Clary take your clothes off and get on the bed, I need to discuss with Charlotte what is going to happen."

Clary smiled and started taking her clothes off. She climbed onto the bed and watched the two blondes whispering in the corner, she thought about how Jacinta was the first girl she ever kissed, the first girl she ever _experimented _with. She enjoyed girls' company but preferred guys. She wasn't sure if that made her bi or maybe she was bi-curious. She didn't really care right now she just wanted satisfaction. The sisters suddenly turned around and grinned at her, she grinned back. They took off their clothes so they were in nothing but matching black lace bra and panties. They slowly walked over to the bed, Charlotte on one side and Jacinta on the other. Jacinta grabbed Clary's hands and pinned them above her head, she moved so she had her legs either side of her, pinning her hips down, she reached over and started tying her hands together. Clary grinned as she realised what was about to happen, she loved it like this. As Jacinta tied her hands to the bed head Charlotte tied her legs to the end off the bed, Clary's legs spread as much as possible. Once she was tied up Jacinta leaned down and slid her tongue into Clary's mouth, dancing in each other's mouths. Jacinta pulled back and climbed off her and started sucking and nibbling on Clary's aroused breasts, the redhead threw her head back and moaned. She suddenly felt warm lips against hers, it was Charlotte, her tongue slid into her mouth and entangled itself with Clary's, Clary bit down on Charlotte's lip and moaned as one of the girls started rubbing her bud. Charlotte smiled and slid down her body, training kisses down her body. Clary let out a gasp as Charlotte took her in her mouth and teased her with her marvellous tongue. Clary arched her back and moaned even loader. The two sisters kneeled above her, staring down at her with wicked looks, each had a toy in their hands.

In unison, "are you ready to scream for us Clary?"

Clary bit her bottom lip and nodded. The girls suddenly disappeared from Clary's view, everything was quiet and then Clary heard the hum of a vibrator, she then gasped at the sudden touch of her bud being vibrated, she started moaning and then she gasped once again as she felt the insertion of a vibrating dildo, it hit her spot just right. She then started screaming as it moved in and out of her abruptly, her back arching her body jolting at the intense pleasure, within minutes her muscles started to contact, her thighs started to quiver she then released, juices squirting everywhere, she screamed both their names as it happened. Her muscles went limp but only for a moment; you'd think the girls would have shown a little bit of mercy, but no. They started up immediately, causing Clary to scream and release over and over again.

Over the next few days Clary was never untied from the bed, the girls took turns on her giving her the intense pleasure the only thing they fed her was water twice a day and chocolate covered strawberries and whipped cream.

The girls had gone down stairs to eat and left Clary tied to the bed, she immediately fell asleep from exhaustion.

Sebastian stepped into the apartment to see the two sisters sitting at the table eating cereal and chatting, "Ladies."

They both turned and smiled at him, Charlotte greeted him first, "Hi Sebastian, may I say you are one lucky man." She winked at him.

"I know I am and speaking of Clary, where is she?"

Jacinta smirked, "She's upstairs... Resting." Both girls giggled. Both girls stood up, "We better get going."

Just before they exited the apartment, Sebastian thanked them, "Oh and girls, thanks for keeping my sister happy."

Jacinta winked, "Anytime." The sisters left and Sebastian walked upstairs and over to Clary's room. He turned the door handle and opened it to see his little sister sleeping peacefully, naked, tied up and laying in her own juices. He looked at the batteries on the floor and the broken toys and couldn't help but smile. He walked over to her and slowly started untying the ropes as he untied her hands she sleepily opened her eyes, "Sebastian?"

He brushed her sweat-covered hair off her face, "Hey babe." She went to move but winced at the pain, "shh don't move." He slowly picked her up and carried her over to the bathroom. He placed her down so she was leaning against the wall. She was still half asleep; he filled the tube up with warm water. He stripped down, it'd be easier to clean her that way. He picked her up once again and lowered into the water, a little gasp escaped her lips as her muscles touched the soothing water. He climbed in next to her and started gently washing off the dried juices, he rinsed her hair, she couldn't help but realise how soft and gentle his touch was. She was so sore and just like after the first time her and Sebastian were together she asked herself '_how could it be so enjoyable yet so painful?_' She knew she wouldn't be able to close her legs for the next few days. Sebastian quickly chucked on some clothes and picked her up once again; some how managed to wrap a towel around her. She leaned her head against his chest and immediately fell asleep.

Clary had fallen asleep in his arms; he walked back into her room and decided that it wasn't the best place for her to sleep considering the mess it was in so he decided she would sleep in his room. As he walked down the hallway he smiled at the memory of how freaked out she got at how messy his room was, but he had cleaned it since then so she wouldn't be upset if she slept in there. He laid her down in the bed and pulled the blanket over her. He kicked of his shoes, and took of his pants and shirt so he was only in his briefs; he crawled into bed next to her and pulled her into his arms. He soon fell asleep, listening to the sound of Clary's steady breathing.

**Did you like it?! Please Review!**


	22. Chapter 22

**unedited**

**(i need to point out that Clary has been sleeping for the past two days- i could decide on how i wanted to put it in the story, in a way that i was happy with so i just thought i'd tell you.) **

**Here it is, Chapter 22. Hope you like it!**

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 22**

Clary sleepily opened her eyes and looked around the room. '_This isn't my room, this is... SEBASTIAN'S!_' She immediately jolted upright, she looked around, sure it was cleaner than last time but it still had clothes scattered across the floor. She attempted to calm herself down but failed she ended up standing on the bed, looking around panicked, at that moment Clary heard the door open. She spun around to see Sebastian looking at her confused and mildly amused.

She death stared him, "Don't you dare laugh! You know what happened last time! And it could still be in here! Waiting for me!"

Sebastian couldn't help but burst out laughing, "Do you know how ridiculous look?"

She crossed her arms and tossed her head to the side, "I'm not ridiculous!"

His laughing started to stop and he made his way over to the bed, "Clary I'm telling you the only thing in here is me and you."

She slightly relaxed but her eyes were still darting around the room in search of any movement. Luckily there wasn't any. Sebastian smiled and gripped her waist, pulling her over to him. Since she was standing on the bed and he was on the floor he was just tall enough to reach her stomach, he started trailing kisses across it, she hadn't realised she was naked until then but she didn't care anymore if she was naked in front of him or not. Clary looked down at him and bit her lip as she watched him cherish her body.

In between kisses, "Do. You. Need. Your. Big brother. To protect you?" He looked up at her to see her childishly nodding her head, he grinned, "Do you need me to protect you with my body." Her childish look turned into a look of lust, she nodded once again. He pushed her down on the bed and climbed on top of her, he started ravishing her lips immediately, like always she started moaning his name. God he loved it when she did that. She pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his muscular chest that she loved so much; she immediately started running her hands over it. Her eyes lit up as she had an idea, she pushed him off and started rummaging through his draws.

He watched her confused, "It's weird, I thought I was gonna have hot sex with my gorgeous little sister but instead she pushes me off and starts looking through my sock draw."

She wasn't exactly paying attention but she got the gist of what he was saying, "I'm looking for your stele."

"Well you're not going to find it in there."

She turned around, "Why n-" He was holding his stele in his hand, looking at her with an 'I told you so' expression.

She walked over and snatched it out of his hand; she held his shoulder and started drawing a stamina rune on his chest.

"Clary what are you doing?!"

She looked at him kind of pissed, "Fine then! Don't let me draw a stamina rune on you so we can have sex over and over again with ease!"

His eyes flickered with excitement, "Keep drawing."

She continued, "That's what I thought."

She finished the first rune and started another and then another, "There, three stamina runes, that should keep you going." She handed him the stele and turned around so he could draw them on her back, "my turn."

He obeyed and drew three stamina runes on her, at first she winced at the pain it had been ages since she used a rune. As soon as he finished the last rune she spun around and pinned him down to the bed, thrusting her hips against his and exploring his mouth with her tongue. She ran her hands down his solid chest as he rubbed her aroused nipples, she kept moaning against their kiss, she undid his pants and shoved them off, discarding them to the ground. To no surprise he was already alert, she broke away from the kiss and positioned herself on top of him. She didn't bother going down slow, she slammed down on him, causing both of them to gasp at the immediate pleasure, she placed her hands on his chest to balance herself and she started riding him, faster and faster each time.

Moans quickly tuning to screams of pleasure, "Don't stop! Harder! Harder! Faster! Oh god! Sebastian!" He met her thrust with his, their thighs slapping together with each thrust. His hands gripping her waist, pulling her down harder each time, he could feel himself start to arrive. Her muscles tightened each time he slammed against her spot, causing her to scream. She felt her muscles tighten around his giant, she couldn't hold it back anymore, she screamed his name as her juices squirted everywhere, as soon as she released she felt his hot juices inside her. Neither of them exhausted at all, Sebastian swiftly moved so she was beneath him and her legs were hooked over his shoulders, he started thrusting himself into her, she gripped the head board screaming again, he smiled at her noises, god how he loved the noises she made. He felt her tighten around him once again, he didn't slow down but sped up causing her to release once again, her thighs slightly quivered. He didn't stop but just kept thrusting himself into his angelic sister, her screams getting louder and louder, the next thing was his favourite part, her thighs started to quiver, her muscles tighten and she screamed her lungs out, she squirted against his giant over and over again in a one minute period, he couldn't hold it back anymore he released his warmth into her core for the second time. He pulled out of her and flipped her over so she was on her hands and knees. He looked at her back and could see that one of the runes had already started to fade. He gripped her hips and positioned himself. He slid inside her and started smashing into her once again. Her hands screwed themselves into the bed with each thrust. God how he hit her spot just right! She was screaming again at the insane pleasure.

He took a fist full of her hair and pulled her head back, "Do you like that little sister? Do like how I fit inside you?"

She could only scream at this moment, "YES! Oh God Yes!"

"Say my name! Say my name Clary!"

She obeyed obediently, "SEBASTIAN! OH GOD YES! SEBASTIAN NEVER STOP! NEVER STOP!"

At the last few words he released once again into her golden core, he continued thrusting and was quickly followed by Clary's release.

Clary quickly got off him, turned around and shoved him against her. She clashed their lips together; she bit his bottom lip and moaned as he slid back into her, this time was slower and not as rough. His tongue danced with hers, he started sucking and nibbling on her neck, her head was thrown back and she was moaning which was slowly turning into screaming as he sped up his pace.

"OH GOD SEBASTIAN! OH GOD!"

Clary slowly rolled off Sebastian, they lay in the sweat and juice covered bed, panting. Clary turned her head to look at the digital clock on the bedside table.

She turned her head back over to Sebastian, a huge grin on her face, "Seven hours. Three Stamina Runes. Twelve positions and countless climaxes."

He grinned back at her, in between panting, "That. Was. Amazing."

She leaned over and kissed him softly, "We need a shower."

He smiled and sat up with her. They walked down the hall and into Clary's bedroom and into her bathroom. Sebastian reached in and turned on the hot water. They climbed in, as Clary ran soap over her body Sebastian started sucking on her neck, it was making it hard for her to focus. She dropped the soap, turned around and took his lips with hers. It wasn't a rough kiss but a soft passionate one. As they broke apart they stared into each other's eyes, she couldn't help but think '_how could this be wrong, it's so right, it's perfect.'_

He looked into her green eyes, he ran his hands down her back and started playing with the ends of her fiery red hair. Her hands wrapped around his neck, her fingers playing with his hair. It felt so perfect in that moment.

Sebastian broke the peaceful silences, "Clary?" His voice was soft.

"Yes?" Her eyes twinkled with curiosity.

"Be my queen."

"What do you mean?"

"I know I don't talk to you about my plans and I know you probably don't exactly want to be a part of it but I need you, I need you to stand by my side and be my queen."

She was taken back a bit, her mind racing, it was true she had tried her best to push the thoughts of what he was planning or doing away but the thought that he needed her, the thought of her being his queen, standing by his side it felt right it felt like it was meant to be. She didn't know what to say so she leaned up and brushed her lips against his.

The corner of his mouth twitched up, "I'll take that as a yes?"

"Yes, I'll be your queen."

His face lit up which caused Clary to smile, "so what's my first duty as queen?"

"Your first duty is to go to a dress fitting and get your ceremony dress."

She looked at him curiously, "Where am I gonna get that?"

"I already have it organised, tomorrow we will be in France, there's a specialist there who will fit you and make the dress, I'll take you to the fitting and then we can have lunch and maybe do some touristy stuff."

She smiled and kissed him once again, "That sounds perfect."

**Did you like it? Please Review!**


	23. Chapter 23

**unedited**

**Here it is, Chapter 23. Hope you like it! (and maybe you should get a bit surprised!)**

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 23**

Sebastian held the glass door open for her as she walked into the little shop. It had a cosy feeling, like you were at home. There were two couches sitting opposite each other on one side of the room, a wooden counter with lots of sticky notes and receipts on it stood in front of another door. He closed the door behind her and dinged the bell on the counter. Clary heard someone yell from behind the door, "Coming!"

The door opened to show a girl, she looked like she was either in her early twenties or late teens, she was tall, had big hips and bust, she had long wavy brown hair that fell down her shoulders, she was wearing a long dark purple skirt and brown singlet, a tape measure hung around her neck, she also had a lot of bracelets on.

She walked over to them, "Hi I'm Carla," Clary immediately noticed her South African accent but she could also hear the hint of French and what seemed to be American, "You must be my 10:30 appointment."

"Yes," Sebastian reached out and shook her hand, "this is Clary, my fiancé,"

'_fiancé? I guess he had to tell her something'._

_"_We have a shadow hunter ceremony to go to and it's very important so we're here to get her fitted for a ceremony dress."

"Of course, I've done my fair share of Shadowhunter ceremony dresses, is there any particular runes you would like me to put on the dress aside from the traditional ones?"

Sebastian grinned, "Yes, we would like to add, Power and Loyalty."

"Of course, now if you'd like to follow me to the fitting room Clary and you sir can take a seat in the waiting chairs."

Sebastian took a seat on one of the couches as Clary followed Carla through the door and into the fitting room, the room had two tables one had two sewing machines and the other had designs and material scattered about it. In the middle of the room was a circle that was higher than the ground. Carla gestured for her to stand up on it, she then went over and scattered through some material, pulling out different shades of red, she then compared each shade with Clary's skin tone; finally settling on a dark red. She started measuring Clary and recording the measurements in a little pink book with a fluffy pink pen. When she was measuring Clary's waist she brushed her hair behind her ear, exposing her pointed green ears.

Clary looked at them curiously, "Warlock?"

The girl smiled, "You noticed. Yeah I'm a warlock, three hundred years old actually but I don't do magic, only when I have to. Like if I'm running out of time to do a dress I snap it finished."

"Why don't you just do that anyway, it would make things a lot easier?"

She smiled again, "Because I love doing what I do, I love making clothes and fashion, it's what I live for."

"Cool." Clary answered simply.

As she started measuring Clary's hips she asked, "I didn't know if I should have asked this when your fiancé was around or not, but would you like me to add the fertility rune on the gown?"

Clary was puzzled, "What are talking about?"

"It's just that sometimes when a shadow huntress is pregnant she likes to have her clothes embroidered with the fertility symbol."

"But I'm not pregnant." She looked at Carla confused.

"Umm sorry to tell you this but you are. It's part of my gift, I can see people's ora and your ora says you are pregnant."

"What... No… You must be mistaken..." Clary's hands started shaking.

Carla could see how Clary was reacting and decided to back down, "You're probably right, It's been a while since I've seen a pregnancy ora I could be wrong it could just mean your about to be on your period or something."

"Yeah..."

The two girls were quiet for the rest of the fitting, once Carla was finished she and Clary left the fitting room to meet Sebastian in the front room.

"It will be ready in two weeks today. Enjoy the rest of your day and thank you for choosing Carla's Pandemonium Fashion for your clothing needs."

Clary and Sebastian walked out of the shop and started walking down the street in silence.

After three minutes of silence Sebastian broke it, "Clary what's wrong?"

She didn't know how to answer, what if she was pregnant, how would he react, how would she handle it, how could this have happened, well she knew perfectly well HOW it happened she just never expected this but then again maybe she was over reacting maybe Carla was wrong.

Clary was snapped out of her racing thoughts by Sebastian, "Clary? Babe? What's wrong?"

"umm... I'm not feeling well, is there a drug store around here somewhere."

Sebastian pointed to the store behind her, "Thanks, I'll only be a moment can I borrow some money?"

"Sure." He handed her 50 Euro.

She rushed into the store and picked up three different pregnancy tests. She took them over to the counter, paid for them and asked to have them in a brown bag; she didn't want Sebastian jumping to conclusions like she was. She came out of the store and gave him the change.

"Are you ok? If you're not feeling well we can go home."

She immediately nodded. They walked back to the apartment, as soon as they were inside, she told him she was going upstairs to lie down. As soon as she got out of his sight she ran into her bathroom, locked the door and pulled out the tests. She followed the instructions and waited the minute for each one. She placed them on the counter with the code for them above it.

She cautiously picked up the first code and test-

**Code- One blue line = Positive two red lines = Negative **

_Test - One blue line_

Clary's stomach sank a little

She placed down the first test and picked up the second one

**Code- a blue O = positive A red X = negative**

_Test - a blue O_

Clary's hands started to shake

She placed the second test down and picked up the third

**Code- P=positive N=negative **

_Test- P_

Clary dropped to the ground shaking, she started crying, '_What am gonna do? I can't have a kid? I'm to young! And with my Brother! Why did I get myself mixed up in this? How is he going to react? What if doesn't want a kid? What if he kills me because if it? I DOT EVEN WANT A KID!_' She couldn't stop crying, her cries getting louder and louder, she had curled up into a ball, rocking herself back and forth.

She jerked her head up as she heard Sebastian on the other side of the door, "Clary! What's wrong?"

She couldn't move, couldn't speak, all she could do was cry. She heard him try the door handle, but it was locked, he started banging on the door, not with anger but worry, "Clary! Clary let me in! Tell me what's wrong! Are you hurt?"

She suddenly heard sizzling and then the door handle fell to the floor. The door swung open and Sebastian was immediately at her side pulling her against his chest, stroking her in an attempt to calm her, "What's wrong? Clary tell me what's wrong?" She still had test three in her hand, it took all her energy to hand it to him. He took it from her and looked at it cautiously, his expression went blank, he let go of her and went over to the other tests, Clary watched him worryingly. She was scared of how he was going to react. He turned around a genuine smile on his face.

"You're pregnant?"

She put all her energy into nodding without crying, her voice was shaking, "You... You.. You're ... n... n... not.. up... upset?"

He kneeled down in front of her, he cupped her cheek in his hand, "Why would I be upset? I'm having a child with you. Clary you have the best heart I know, why wouldn't I want a child with you?"

"Because... I'm ... I... I'm... Your sister."

He chuckled under his breath, "So? Haven't we gotten past that?"

She smiled weakly, the tears had stopped, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, "I Lov-." They both jumped as the heard a huge bang from downstairs, Sebastian stood up, with a worried look on his face.

He looked down at Clary who was still curled up in a ball, "Wait here, try not to make any noise and don't open the door to anyone else aside from me."

She nodded and he exited the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Clary shoved herself into a corner; she flinched every time she heard a noise. There was fighting going on downstairs but she was too much of a wreck to move. Suddenly she heard footsteps outside, she heard the person open the wardrobe door and then she heard the footsteps stop in front of the bathroom's she pushed herself against he wall and prayed that they wouldn't come in here or if they did it was Sebastian.

The door burst open to show a shadow hunter in fighting gear, he had cuts on his arms, he had golden hair and eyes, he was beautiful like an angel and then Clary realised who it was and her heart sank, _'Jace...' _

**Did you like it?! Are you shocked/surprised/! Is your mind racing!? Please keep those awesome review coming!**


	24. Chapter 24

**unedited**

**_(I thought i should let you guys know that i have actually finished writing this story, it's on my laptop and i thought you guys should know that the final Chapter is chapter 39 so when you get to that chapter it is the end!)_**

**Everyone has been freaking out over the last chapter - EPIC CLIFFHANGER! **

**Hope this puts your minds slightly at ease- Here it is, Chapter 24.**

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 24 **

'_Jace...' _

Jace ran over to her, "Clary! Are you ok? Did he hurt you?" He went to pull her into a hug but she flinched away, his heart broke a little.

Clary was so confused at what was happening, '_Where's Sebastian? Did they kill him? Why is Jace here? Why did he have to come now of all times?! Who else is here? What are they going to do when they find out about the baby? What are they going to do when they find out about what I've been doing?!_' Her body couldn't handle the stress anymore, her eyes started to flutter and darkness consumed her.

Clary's eyes darted open as she felt as if her heart was being ripped out. She looked up to see a pair of hands hovering above her she looked over to see Magnus '_Oh God! the Baby!_' She abruptly sat up and pulled her legs to her chest, her eyes darted around the room; she was in the infirmary at the Institute.

Her eyes darted back to Magnus, "Clary it's all right, you're safe now."

'_Safe? I was safe with Sebastian! Oh My God! Sebastian! Where is he? What happened to him_?' Panic rose in her she started hyperventilating, she then felt a warm hand on her back, "Clary calm down, everything is going to be fine."

Clary jumped off the bed and realised it wasn't just Magnus in the room. Isabel, Simon, Alec, Jace, Luke, her mum, even Maryse was there, they had all changed slightly since she last saw them like they had been through a traumatic experience, well she guessed they had considering she had disappeared. She locked eyes with her mum's, Jocelyn's eyes were red like she'd been crying for ages, black shadows under her eye like she hadn't slept and her face looked like she had never smiled. Clary's heart sank, she thought back to how much she had missed her mum, she had thought about her every day, even though she knew how disgusted she would have been in Clary she still would have talked to her. Clary ran over to her and flung her arms around her, Jocelyn's arms wrapped around her daughter and pulled her into tight hug, neither of them wanted to let go. Clary felt a tear roll down her face and then she felt churning in her stomach. She yanked away from her mum and ran over to the trash bin at the end of the infirmary and puked in it. She felt her stomach tighten and her head started pounding.

She felt warm hands on her back and heard a familiar voice, not Magnus, not Jace, not her mum, but Isabel, "it's ok. It's ok, it won't be like this for long."

Once Clary stopped she thought of why she was saying this and then she thought about why she was puking, '_the Baby!' _

She spun around, and got one word out, "What?"

Isabel's eyes softened, "We know about the baby Clary, we know that it's Sebastian's and... and..." She shied away.

Jace continued for her, his voice was harsh, "and we're going to get that monster out of you!"

Clary's heart slightly broke, '_Monster? Out of me? ... OH GOD!_' She stood up abruptly, tears started to fall again, she forced one word out "NO!"

Jace's eyes filled with confusion, "What?"

"No!" She repeated

Isabel went to touch Clary's shoulder but Clary flinched away. She looked around at the group of faces, faces full of confusion, hurt, love, despair and then there was Jace's, his was full of ... anger.

As she locked eyes with Jace she became frightened, she pushed herself into a corner and slid down the wall, she pulled her knees to her chest and started crying.

She then heard Magnus' voice, "Would you all mind if I spoke to Clary alone?" She heard everyone leave and then she heard Magnus' voice again, full of worry, "Clary. Why don't you want us to help you?"

Anger bubbled inside her, they had no idea what they were talking about, they had no idea how Sebastian had made her feel these last weeks, "Help me?! You want to help me!? You want to help me by taking my baby away?!"

To Clary's surprise Magnus didn't look surprised or taken back by his statement, he just looked at her almost calmly but hurt twinkled in his cat eyes, "Clary we don't have to do anything you don't want us to do."

The only thing Clary could say was, "I just want to go to sleep right now." She lied she just wanted everyone out of the room.

Magnus nodded understandingly and exited the infirmary. Clary walked back over to the bed and lay down. She bit her bottom lip, splitting it open; she had to see if he was ok. She closed her eyes as she felt the blood hit her tongue, bracing herself for the darkness but the darkness never came. She opened her eyes to see that she was still in the infirmary she looked around hoping he had travelled to her like he did in the shower. He wasn't there, her stomach started to twist. She bit down again. Nothing. She bit down again, tears filling her eyes. nothing. '_What? No. Where is he? Why isn't it working?'_ She gave up. She laid her head down on the bed and fell asleep sobbing his name.

_Where is he? What happened to him? Is he ok? Why isn't it working? _

**_"Clary. Clary." She felt the warm breath in her ear as she heard the familiar voice._**

**_She sleepily opened her eyes and smiled as she realised who it was, "Sebastian?" _**

**_"Hey baby." He was lying next to her, his fingers playing with the end of her hair, he leaned over and brushed his lips against hers. Clary smiled weakly at his touch, his warm familiar touch. _**

**_Her throat burned as she felt the tears start to form, "Where are you?" _**

**_He ran his hand across her cheek, she leaned into his warmth, "I can't tell you right now, but I can tell you I will come to get you... when I can." _**

**_She felt a tear roll down her cheek, she moved so her head was nuzzled into his chest, "They know... They know about the baby... and... and... and they..." Her throat started to choke up. _**

**_"Shh shh," he kissed the top of her head, "I know and I won't let them hurt you or..." He placed his hand on her stomach, another tear rolled down Clary's cheek._**

**_He leaned over and kissed her lovingly, "I have to go now." _**

**_"What? No. Please don't go." She pleaded. _**

**_"Shh, it's going to be ok, I'll be back soon." He brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear, "Close your eyes Clary." He whispered softly. _**

**_As she closed her eyes another tear escaped down her cheek. _**

She slowly opened her eyes as she felt his presence drift away from her. She sat up and looked around the room, Simon was asleep in the bed next to hers. '_Simon...'_ Her best friend, she had abandoned her best friend he had probably been worried sick about her. She slowly got out of bed and walked across the room, trying not to make any noise. She slowly creaked the infirmary door open, she cringed as she heard the high squeaking noise and prayed that Simon wouldn't wake, her prayers were answered. She started walking down the huge corridor, she didn't realise where she was going until she got there. She walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Clary had a sudden craving for bacon and eggs. She went over and turned the pan on, she pulled out the eggs and bacon and started cooking. While the food cooked she got peanut butter out and started eating it by the spoonful. The peanut butter covered spoon hung in her mouth as she flipped the eggs. She scooped them out and placed the food on a plate, she picked it up, turned around and sat at the table. She started eating it felt like heaven in her mouth for some reason and the lingering taste of peanut butter made it even better. She looked up as she heard the sound of the door open; Alec was standing there, his face expressionless. Clary looked down awkwardly and continued eating.

Alec went over to the fridge and pulled out a yoghurt; he sat opposite Clary and started eating.

After a moment of uncomfortable science, Alec spoke, still looking down at his yoghurt, "He's broken you know"

Clary knew he was talking about, Jace, she swallowed uncomfortably, "I know... I don't know what to do though."

"You know what to do... Get rid of it." His voice was harsh.

Clary felt his eyes burning into her skull, but she couldn't look at him, she fiddled with her cutlery, she fought back the tears, "I can't..."

"Why not?!"

She flinched at his harshness, she could see out of the corner of her eye that his fists were clenched, "I just... can't."

She gasped as he grabbed her shirt, yanking her so the chair fell out from under her, his anger filled eyes locked on her terrified ones, "Why the hell not?! How can you live with yourself with that thing inside you?! You're poisoned! That thing inside you is evil and you know it!"

"ALEXANDER GIDION LIGHTWOOD!" Clary looked over to see Magnus standing in the doorway; he was shocked at the sight before him.

Alec never took his gaze off her; Magnus' eyes fell on Alec, his voice stern, "ALEC LET HER GO! NOW!"

Alec let go of her and stormed out the door, pushing past Magnus without a second look. Clary fell to the ground, her hand clutching at her chest; her heart was pounding ten times fast.

Magnus was at her side in seconds, "Clary are you ok?"

Clary started having a panic attack, her mind racing with images of what just happened, images of Jace in the infirmary, images of Sebastian, images of Simon, Images of her mum, everything! Her head was pounding, she could hear her own heart beat, everything else was a blur. She slowly pulled herself to her feet, her hands shaking.

"Maybe you should sit down." Magnus' voice full of concern.

He was holding Clary's arm, to keep her balanced. She yanked away and ran out. Her heart pounding, her stomach churning, her mind racing, she ran down the hallway Magnus running after her.

He was calling out to her, "Clary! Stop! Clary! Wait! Clary we can figure this out! Clary!"

She felt strong arms wrap around her and stop her mid run, she squirmed and jolted trying to get out of the grip but that only made them grip her tighter, she creamed and kicked, "STOP! JUST LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T HURT ME! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" her screams soon turned into cries, she soon realised who it was. Jace.

He was whispering soothingly in her ear, his voice was shaky, "Shh shh please Clary. Stop. I won't hurt you. I would never hurt you."

She sunk to her knees, he went with her, she stopped trying to get free and leaned into his embrace; tears falling down her face like streams of a rushing river.

Her cries quieted to sobs, Jace slowly wrapped his arm under her knees and picked her up. She placed her head on his chest; tears were still falling but not as much. He carried her back to the infirmary and placed her down on the bed but she didn't release her hands from around his neck, instead she pulled him closer to her. He lay down next to her and pulled her against his chest, she inhaled his scent that she honestly had missed. The tears were still leaking down her cheeks. She calmed at the sound of his heartbeat and fell asleep to the feeling on his chest rise and fall with every breath.

Her last thoughts as slumber took her, '_This feels right. Maybe it is right, maybe I should get rid of the baby. Maybe I should leave Sebastian._' The thought of Sebastian made her heart skip, '_Sebastian...' _

**Did you like it?! Please Review! **


	25. Chapter 25

**unedited **

**here it is, Chapter 25. Hope you like it! **

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 25 **

Clary opened her eyes hesitantly as she felt the sun on her face.

"Morning sunshine!" She looked over to see Magnus sitting in a chair next to her bed.

She grumbled and pulled the sheets back over her face, he snapped his fingers making the blankets disappear, she let out a harsh gasp and glared at him, "That's just evil!"

"Yeah yeah whatever, now sit up I've got to check your vitals."

Clary grumpily sat up in the bed, she leaned against the bed head, "But you're a warlock can't you just look at me and know my vitals."

Magnus chuckled , "I wish! Now shut up I'm trying to concentrate." Magnus placed his hand on her forehead and closed his eyes. He took his hand off her head, opened his eyes and started righting notes down in a pad that he had snapped up.

She watched him hesitantly he looked as if something was wrong but before she could ask she felt her stomach turn upside down, Magnus looked at her immediately, as if he sensed what was about to happen he snapped a bucket in front of her. She pulled it to her face and heaved last night's food into it.

Once she was finished she placed the bucket down on the floor, she wiped at her now sweat laced forehead, "Thanks."

"No problem morning sickness is a bitch." Magnus said he was still writing in his note pad.

"Morning sickness, fantastic!" She announced sarcastically. She looked around curiously, Simon wasn't in the bed next to her anymore and Jace wasn't here, "Where is everyone."

Magnus shrugged, "Simon went home, he felt as if he'd over stayed his visit at the Institute considering he is a Vampire and all, Isabel and Jace are training, Luke and your mum are in a meeting with the ConClave... They're discussing... Whether or they should use the Mortal Sword on you..." Clary's eyes widened, Magnus quickly avoided that conversation, "and..." He realised the only other person he hadn't mentioned was Alec, Clary could see the pain in his eyes, "Alexander is off somewhere doing something."

"It's not exactly the funnest place to be right now is it?" She asked a little bit moping.

"Tell me about it." Magnus stated as he sat down in his chair his legs hung freely over the side, he snapped away the note pad and put the pen on the nightstand, "but I'm here to look after you, that's my job, I've been looking after you even when you didn't know it." Clary smiled a genuine smile it felt so foreign on her face, it had been ages since she'd smiled like that but she guessed Magnus brought that side out in her, Magnus was kind of like an uncle/gay best friend to her, they had always had this unspoken bond Clary always thought it was because he had known her pretty much her whole life, watched her grow up, even if she didn't remember it she still felt the bond. They sat in silence for a moment and then Clary looked at Magnus, "Hey Magnus."

"Yes." His cat eyes flashed.

"Ummm... Since neither of us exactly like being here and I don't think I can handle facing my mum and Luke at home... Maybe... I was wondering if..." Clary fiddled with her hands awkwardly, "I could... Move in with you?"

Magnus thought abut it for a moment and then his face lit up, "What an excellent idea!"

"Seriously?" Clary looked at him in disbelief.

"Of course! Why not? You can move in tonight if you'd like." His eyes were twinkling, Clary couldn't help but wonder if maybe Magnus was lonely all by himself in that big loft especially without Alec.

"I'm not exactly sure what clothes I have anymore." She thought about how Sebastian had brought all her stuff to the apartment.

"Yes considering Sebastian literally cleaned out your room and everything you own-"

Clary cut him off, "Wait! What?"

"I thought you knew, Sebastian took all your stuff, EVERYTHING! It was extremely hard finding you we ended up using the Morgenstern ring, Jace had found it on his night stand, you wore it so it ended up working."

Clary touched her neck, she had forgotten about the ring she focused on the last time she wore it... It was the second time her and Sebastian had their little mental meetings, she was in the shower, she took it off before hand and put it on the sink, she totally forgot about it.

"So I guess that just means we get to go shopping!" Magnus sat up and clapped his hands together with excitement; Clary couldn't help but laugh a little.

She then slouched at the thought of her not fitting clothes, "We won't have to buy much considering that nothing will fit me in a few months."

"That just means more shopping! I don't understand how you can be upset about that!" Magnus said his golden cat eyes flickering with excitement.

Clary's expression went from laughing at Magnus to despair, "Magnus how am I going to do this? It's bad enough that I'm gonna be a teen mum but I'm a shadow hunter and I'm still new at it, how am I gonna handle that with the kid and how am I gonna explain who it's dad is when it's born? I don't think I can do this. I'm not ready for a kid."

Magnus reached over and placed his hand on Clary's knee, his eyes were now full of comfort, "Clarissa Fray, you are the most determined, strong and caring person I know, you can do anything and you're not alone in this, I'm here, Simon is here, Izzy is here, Alec may come around, Jace will come around eventually, Luke is here, your mum is here-"

"Is she though? I know she's my mum and all, she loves me but do you really think she will be able to look at me let alone the child? She couldn't even look at Sebastian and that was her own son and now her daughter is having her son's child, that's messed up on its own but considering her son is evil, how the hell can she cope with that? I'm still trying to!"

"She just will; she's your mum and she loves you more than any other person in this universe ever will." Clary felt her eyes starts to water at Magnus' touching words, she quickly wiped it away. "So are we moving you in or what?!"

"I'm moving in."

"I think this deserves a celebration." He snapped his fingers and a stereo appeared, playing 'let's do the twist again'

Clary laughed as Magnus started twisting and dancing, he grabbed Clary's hand and pulled her out of bed they started dancing she was having a lot of fun, she was actually really excited to live with Magnus even though the reasons aren't exactly perfect but still she was excited.

...

"Are you sure you want to do this Clary?" Her mum asked for the three-hundredth time that day.

Clary sighed impatiently, "Yes mum. I'm sure."

"Ok. Ok." She pulled Clary into a hug, they were standing outside Magnus' apartment, well it was Magnus' and Clary's apartment now.

"Umm mum... I should probably go now."

Jocelyn uneasily let Clary out of the hug, "Yes of course." Clary was about to put the key in the door, "remember call me if you need me… Or if you don't... Call me if you need anything, ANYTHING at all and I'll be here."

"Yes mum, now would you go and let me enter MY apartment in piece!"

"Yes of course." Jocelyn scurried down the steps and out the front; Clary couldn't help but smile at how she was acting.

As she stepped into the apartment, little fireworks sparked above her head, when one of them sparked it said, 'Welcome To You're New Home!' Magnus walked into he room as the last firework popped.

"Do you like it, I thought it would be a nice little way of welcoming you to OUR apartment."

"I loved it! And thanks again for letting me move in." She went over and gave Magnus a huge hug; she didn't know what had come over her she was buzzing with excitement, "Which one is my room"

"Third door on the left."

"Awesome!" Clary felt a sudden wave of dizziness sweep over her along with extreme exhaustion. She stumbled a little but was steadied by Magnus.

"Clary are you ok?" Magnus asked her worriedly.

Clary out her hand to her forehead, "umm... Yeah... I think I just need a lie down..." She let herself out of Magnus' grip and slowly walked to her bedroom, at one pint steadying herself by putting her hand on the wall. She made it into her bedroom, she collapsed on her bed as another wave of dizziness hit her as she drifted off she heard the faint whisper of Sebastian's voice, _'Clary...' _

**Did you like it? Please Review!**


	26. Chapter 26

**unedited**

**Here it is, Chapter 26 *4 months later* **

**Hope You Like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 26**

Clary was sitting at the table with Magnus talking about whether she should find out what gender it is or not.

"I think you should, I mean what if people buy it blue clothes and it ends up being a girl." Magnus said looking at her with a 'think about the horror!' Sort of look.

"Well then they can buy uni-sex colours."

"What, like yellow? No baby has ever looked good in yellow, no one looks good in yellow! Well I look good in yellow but that's with bright green skinny jeans!" He was such a drama queen sometimes.

"Well I do want to find out but I don't want to at the same time," she laid her head on the table in frustration, "AHH this is so annoying and I'm only four months pregnant! How the hell am I gonna deal with the next 5 or the next EIGHTEEN YEARS!?"

Magnus couldn't help but grin at her frustration, she snapped her head up and glared at him, "Don't you dare laugh at my frustration!"

Magnus couldn't hold it back anymore, he started laughing at her, she started to laugh as well as she thought about what she was saying but that all quickly turned around when she felt another wave of dizziness and exhaustion hit her.

Magnus noticed immediately and was at her side in seconds, "Clary? What's wrong?"

"I..." Her throat was suddenly dry, "I think I need another lie down." Magnus nodded understandingly and helped her to her room, just to make sure she doesn't collapse in the hallway like last time. He tucked her into bed and shut the curtains, he left the room to let her rest.

She had been living with Magnus for the last four months and now she was four months pregnant, it was a rough pregnancy, she gets these immediate exhaustion and dizziness hits she nearly passes out and some times she does, no one can figure out why most people just say its because she's so young and her body is 'still growing' she hated it when people told her that, she would always think sarcastically, '_way to build the self confidence!_' And for the first two months she had really bad nausea but she was sure that was just morning sickness, really REALLY bad morning sickness ... at different times of the day! Simon and Izzy would visit her pretty much every two days, they seemed to be going well, right now Isabel is trying to convince her parents to let her move out with Alec, Alec wants to move to be away from his father and Isabel wants to be away so she can spend more time with Simon. Jace has comes over or checks in on her at least every two weeks but she can see the hidden pain in his eyes and Alec never comes around but that's for the best considering him and Magnus, they actually went and had coffee yesterday and it had gone well, Magnus is trying not to get his hopes up but Clary can see it in his eyes that he NEEDS Alec back. She is so grateful to Magnus for letting her move in and helping her get through the pregnancy, he seems to go above and beyond for her. Her mum and Luke visit her once a week or whenever they can, Luke has become extremely attached to the idea of him being a grandad it just makes Clary laugh whenever she sees him get hyped about buying or talking about baby stuff. She thinks it must be because he loves little kids but has never been around an actual baby and considering that Jocelyn isn't planning on having anymore kids this is kind of his chance to look after a baby. She has been going to doctors appointments, when scheduled but it's hard when she does go, she sees people with their pregnant partner, rubbing their belly or talking about names and her heart aches, Sebastian should be there with her. Over the past few months he had visited her, mentally, three times and each time he says he'll come get her or he'll tell her where he is but never does, he does however want to talk about the baby and see how she is doing its nice but it's not the same and it's even harder walking down streets, she's a pregnant teenager, but an alone pregnant teenager, it's not nice to think about but people judge even if they say they don't when they see her walk past the word that flashes across their mind is 'Slut'. No matter how good a person they are it's always the first thing to flash across there mind and it makes Clary's heart ache and stomach twist.

She laid in bed, rubbing her small bump, trying to sooth her dizziness, she then felt all of it disappear as warm arms wrapped around her from behind and familiar fingers intertwine with hers

She rolled over and wrapped her arms around the body of warmth; she hummed in reassurance "hi."

She looked up at the strong gaze next to her, "hey baby, I miss you."

"I miss you too, when will I see you I mean ACTUALLY see you." She asked as the exhaustion and dizziness still lingered in her body.

"I don't know... soon hopefully."

She smiled weakly, she pulled him closer and brushed her lips against his, she then laid her head on his steady chest. They stayed like that for awhile but jolted out of it as they heard a loud bang, Clary then heard the storming of feet and someone yelling, "Where is she? I know she's here! Tell me where she is warlock!" The voice sounded familiar.

She stepped out side the room cautiously and crept down the hallway, she then heard a snarky comment from Magnus, "May I say you look absolutely horrible, how long has it been since you slept." There was a pause and then Magnus' voice grew dark, "I'll never tell you where she is."

With that Clary stepped into the lounge room and took in the scene in front of her, Magnus stood almost calmly in front of the open front door a sword was poking against his neck, Clary's eyes followed down the sword and to the person who was holding it, her heart skipped a beat, "Sebastian?"

His head snapped around and his eyes softened as he saw Clary standing there, her eyes full of confusion. He dropped the sword almost immediately, and rushed towards her, Clary took a hesitant step back her mind was racing, "but... You were... How could you have... What?"

Sebastian looked at her puzzled; Magnus in the background had picked up the sword and was curiously looking at it. "Clary, you're alright, I've come to get you come on let's go."

Clary didn't move from her position, "but you already knew that I was alright, I told you..."

"What you never told me...Clary we haven't talked since you were in the bathroom at the apartment and you told me you were pregnant."

Clary took another step back so her back was against the wall, "No... No... The lip biting thing... You've been talking to me..."

With that Magnus dropped the sword and went over to Clary he was totally ignoring Sebastian's presence, "Clary, have you seen anything odd lately, like maybe Sebastian being here when he's not here?"

"But I was sure he was here."

"It's worse than I thought..." Magnus trailed off into thought.

Sebastian was looking confused and worried, Clary was just confused, Sebastian looked at Magnus sternly, "I wasn't sure but I think that-"

Jace suddenly burst into the room, "Magnus! Look I need to see Clary I don't care if you think-" he stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes fell on Sebastian. His first move was to fling himself at Sebastian; the next thing Clary knew was that they were in a brawl.

Clary pushed herself up against the wall as she felt her stomach tighten as she heard what they were screaming at each other,

"YOU BASTARD!"

"YOU'RE JUST JELOUS!"

"YOU VIOLATED HER! "

"YOU'RE A MONSTER!"

"YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!"

She had no idea who the words were coming from but she knew it was her fault, suddenly her head started pounding and she felt lie someone was screaming in her ears, she fell to her knees clutching her head, she screamed out in agony which seemed to make both, Jace and Sebastian stop and look over at her. Magnus was by her side saying something she couldn't hear. She clutched at her throat as she felt as if it was on fire, her breath becoming limited. She fell onto her hands and knees, she started coughing uncontrollably. She had screwed her eyes shut at the pain but quickly opened them as she went into a coughing fit, she watched platters of blood jump out of her mouth and land on the ground below her. She then clutched at her stomach, screaming at the agonising pain, it was like someone had set her insides on fire. She fell, to the ground at the unbearable pain; she had no idea what was happening only that it hurt. Then everything went black the last thing she saw was Magnus', Jace's and Sebastian's face hovering above her all with concerned looks spread across them.

Clary fell to her knees, which thankfully spilt the two boys up. They were watching her in shock. Magnus was kneeling next to her mumbling a painless spell to at least dim the pain, it wasn't working. He knew what was happening he had been suspecting it since he first found out she was pregnant but now that he knew she had been hallucinating he was certain. He should sense that the two boys were about to rip at each other's throats again, even through he hated Sebastian with a fiery passion and knew he deserved to die he didn't have time to deal with him.

Magnus snapped his head up and looked at the two boys, he raised his voice over Clary's screams of pain, "Get her into her bedroom now and put her on the bed!"

Sebastian and Jace ran to Clary's convulsing body, one on either side of her. Jace went to pick her up but her body instinctively repulsed away, she let out a weeping mumble as tears poured down her face, "Sebastian."

Jace's heart broke even more as Sebastian gently picked the girl he loved up, she pressed her head against his chest, she was still screaming with pain but her screams were dying down from exhaustion.

Sebastian felt his chest tighten as he heard each cry; he quickly but gently carried her into her room and placed her down on the bed. Sebastian knelt on the side of the bed, holding one of Clary's hands in his hand in hope that he could somehow take the pain away. She weeped quietly for a moment and then yanked her hand out of Sebastian's and her body started convulsing once again. Blood ran from her mouth, down her chin. Magnus came rushing into the room, pushing past the two boys. He was carrying a large leather book and many jars of clear liquid. Sebastian back onto the wall, Jace was across the room doing the same thing. Sebastian couldn't help but feel jealous of the golden boy. Both boys watched the girl they love scream and convulse in pain. Magnus placed the bottles of clear liquid on the bed side table and started flicking though the giant leather book, his cat eyes dashing across each page.

Magnus stopped at a page near the middle and started reading the page carefully, he bit his lip worriedly, "I was right."

Jace yelled his gaze from Clary and shot it at Magnus, "What are you talking about?"

Magnus swallowed awkwardly, his eyes still reading the page, "She's been having a... a rough pregnancy. Since I first found out that she was pregnant I was worried this might happen and over the last four months it has been getting worse and confirming my prediction and now that I've found out she has been hallucinating and about Sebastian everything points towards this."

Before Jace could ask Sebastian stepped in, "What?"

Magnus' shoulders tensed as he heard him speak, "Clary isn't only a shadowhunter but had extra angel blood in her and you're a shadowhunter but you have demon blood in you. The baby... It's half you half Clary... It's ... It's physically impossible and the body knows it... The demon blood and angel blood are..." Magnus was to distraught to continue.

Fortunately Sebastian had pieced it together, "They're fighting each other, trying to take over the baby. The baby isn't going to survive is it?"

Magnus pulled himself together, "Not unless we do something, I've been sneaking holy water into her drinks but it only seems to make her throw up or get dizzy and doesn't seem to help a lot. But the thing is to help her we need to get her angel blood or demon blood. Their are problem with each solution, we give Clary angel blood, which is going to be hard enough to get anyway, if we give her angel blood the baby will literally turn into an angel, stronger and more powerful than Nephilium, but it's against all laws. God is the only person who creates angels and they've all been made who knows what sort of wrath this would bring down. Also her body wouldn't be able to handle carrying an angel, a pure being it would destroy her, slowly kill her."

Clary had stopped screaming and convulsing and was back to whimpering and clutching her stomach.

Jace looked down at her and cringed at her pain he then looked up at Magnus, his eyes full of heart ache, "What about the demon blood."

Magnus hesitated for a moment, "If we give her demon blood it would turn the baby completely, just like the angel blood except it would become a demon. It would be soulless and we would have no idea what sort of demon it would be it could be a whole new type. It would also slowly kill her from the inside. Sucking the life out of her until she is just a shell of a being."

The room was an dry silence aside from Clary's soft sobs.

"What about my blood." Both Jace and Magnus turned around to see Sebastian staring down at Clary with broken eyes.

Magnus looked at him curiously, "What do you mean?"

"I may have demon blood but I'm also part angel. If we fed her my blood would it just make the child like me or would it kill her as well."

Magnus hesitated, "Your demon side is dominate if I was to take a guess it would have the same affect as the normal demon blood."

Magnus went by Clary's side as she started convulsing again, he rested his head on her forehead in an attempt to make any difference. He yanked his hand away as it burned. He swore and ordered the boys to help him hold her down.

The boys cam over, Jace pinned one side of her body down as Sebastian pinned the other. Magnus picked up one of the jars of clear liquid and took off the lid. He held Clary's mouth open, he noticed the boys watching him, "It's holy water."

He held her jaw open and poured the liquid down her throat causing her body to shake and her nose to bleed. He poured another jar of holy water down her throat and then another and another. After the fourth jaw he body went limp and she stopped screaming and whimpering. Sebastian's voice was full of worry and anger, "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Magnus' anger rose inside him at the accusation, "I bought her time! That's what I did! I helped her! I care about her too you know! She's like a niece to me! The only family I've got! I watched her grow up! I watched her become the strong person she is and if you don't understand that I am dong everything n my power to help her then you should leave now before I turn you into ash!"

Sebastian and Jace were a bit taken back by Magnus' outburst. They looked at him cautiously. Magnus leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor, "So you have exactly 20minutes until she starts up again, you have 20minutes to make your decision at what you want to happen." Jace stared at Sebastian he was shocked to see him in the state he was in. He looked as if the worst thing could have happened and then Jace's heart ached that it was because if the way he felt for Clary. Jace was about to say that they should talk about this but Sebastian started before he could, "So either way if we were to save the baby we'd end up killing Clary?"

Magnus looked at him sympathetically, "Yes."

Sebastian's eyes dimmed even more, his shoulders dropped, "Get rid of it... Get rid of the baby."

Magnus and Jace looked at him slightly shocked, if anyone was going to want to save the baby it'd be him.

"Are you sure?" Magnus asked needing reassurance.

Sebastian's voice sounded as if he'd given up completely, "If it saves Clary then ... Yes."

Magnus nodded and stood up. He moved back over to Clary and placed his hand on her stomach, before he started Sebastian announced, his voice full of despair, "I can't watch this... I'll be in the hallway."

Jace watched as the broken boy stumbled out into the hallway. Magnus looked at Jace to see if he wanted to leave as well but instead he sat next to Clary and held her hand through the process.

Sebastian stumbled out of the room and threw himself against the hallway wall. He slid down the wall so he was sitting on the ground, his heart ached an unfamiliar feeling. He pulled his knees to his chest and held himself, for the first time in his life tears threatened. Tears threatened the demon-blooded boy, the tainted boy, the disgrace. A small tear escaped as he heard Clary cry out his name from the room, he threw his head against the wall trying to block it out. It went on for five minutes and then everything fell silent. He looked up as he hear the door open, Magnus was standing there, red eyed, hands were shaking, he was able to stutter out, "It.. It.. It's ... It's done."

Magnus stumbled down the hall and into his own room Sebastian slowly pulled himself to his feet and entered the room. Jace was sitting on the bed next Clary's sleeping body, his hand and wrapped around hers. He was mumbling something under his breath but stopped as soon as he noticed Sebastian. He didn't let go of Clary's hand or pull his gaze away from her. The small bump that had had rested on Clary's stomach earlier was gone, her cheeks were stained with tears, one of hand was still clutching the bed in pain even though she seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Sebastian didn't go over to her or make some stupid comment to Golden Boy he just slid down the bedroom wall and looked at his broken angel. His mind kept racing with the images of her convulsing, whimpering, screaming dashed across his mind. He hated himself, he had never hated himself before, he hated himself because he caused this he was the reason for her pain. He couldn't help but realise he was always the reason for pain. Sebastian sat against the wall all night, staring at the girl he broke. Jace sat next to Clary, holding her hand and slightly mumbling her name and that he can't live without her over and over again, he stared at his sleeping beauty all night.

Neither boy cared of they hated the other right now, if that one deserved to die, if that he should probably be handed over to the Clave by now, they didn't care because they both needed to be here... For her.

**Did you like it? Please Review! **

**ps. I know that when a miscarriage happens you don't immediately lose your baby bump and that you bleed for a while but this was a Magical thing and Magnus made it so it wasn't like that. Just thought i should let you know in case anyone gets a bit annoyed.**


	27. Chapter 27

**unedited**

**WOO! 200+ Reviews! **

**Here it is, Chapter 27. **

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 27**

Clary slowly started to wake, her body screamed with pain. Her head was pounding, '_What happened?_' She thought back and her mind raced with images, Sebastian, Jace, Magnus, Collapsing to her knees, the searing pain, her coughing up blood after that everything was black or blood red the main she remembered was the pain. Her chest ached but not with pain but with something else, like a part of her missing and she'd never get it back. She suddenly noticed the warm set of hands wrapped around her left hand. Clary sleepily opened her eyes to see Jace sitting next to her on the bed, holding her hand, looking down at her his eyes were red and full of pain and concern, a small wave of relief flashed across her face but to quickly for Clary to notice. She turned her head as she heard footsteps across the room, '_Sebastian_.' He was watching her from the other side of the room, his eyes were red his face was unreadable. '_Is he only in my mind? Can Jace see him?_' She looked back and forth between them, Sebastian noticed that she what she was thinking and decided to stop her racing thoughts, "He can see me. I'm here, actually here."

Clary sensed Jace tense up at the sound of Sebastian's voice. She still couldn't comprehend that Jace was letting him live. Clary went to talk but choked as she felt the burning in her throat.

Jace quickly handed her a cup of warm honey tea, "Here, drink this, it'll help."

Clary moved herself up onto her elbows and then fell back down immediately as her body screamed in pains, she rolled over and muffled her cry with her pillows, her hands fisting the bed. She rolled her head to the side as the pain dimmed down she was able to choke out, "What happened?"

Jace looked at Sebastian and knew Sebastian should probably be the one to tell her even though it crushed his soul he still knew he was the one who had to tell her. Jace slowly let go of Clary's hand and stood up from the bed. Clary watched him worriedly, '_where is he going?' _

Jace walked over to the door and before exiting he took one last worried look at Clary. Jace stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind him.

Clary put all her force to roll over and look at Sebastian, he was standing in the middle of the room looking at her with empty eyes. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room, they stared into each other's eyes, Sebastian's empty ones and Clary's pain filled ones. Clary's felt her eyes start to water as she felt that she was about to be told something really bad that would scar her for life.

She cleared her throat and choked out, "Sebastian... What happened?"

Clary saw his hesitation before he slowly made his way over to her and sat on the bed, he couldn't look her in the eye, he couldn't watch her heart brake.

He took a deep breath and collected himself, "Clary... First you need to know that I never stopped looking for you ever since they came and stole you away from me. But you also need to know that I never talked to you through the lip biting thing Magnus is sure they were hallucinations."

Clary's head was spinning, "Hallucinations?"

Sebastian looked over and locked eyes with Clary, "When I found you I came I came straight her, no heaitations I didn't care if they Clave caught me I just needed to make sure that you and our...our... our baby were ok. When I arrived the warlock answered the door and then you came out and my chest sank. Just seeing you made my mind blank and seeing you carrying our child made it worse, I dropped my guard completely. You started saying that we'd been talking for months now and that's when Magnus confirmed his suspicions."

"Suspicions?"

Sebastian couldn't tell her... Not yet, he continued, "Then Jace turned up and we hate each other, you know that and immediately we were fighting but... But then you screamed and collapsed and everything changed. Clary you started coughing up blood and convulsing it was destroying me and Jace might I had to see you like that. We brought you into the bedroom and Magnus explained what was happening." He hesitantly paused.

Clary became even more worried, Sebastian had never talked like this never with so much... Emotion, "Sebastian, what happened?"

He swallowed awkwardly, "Clary... My demon blood and your extra angel blood, it was... It was, one way to put it is it was fighting for power the only way to fix it would to give you more angel blood to fight off the demon blood or give you demon blood to fight off the angel blood. But either way it would have been against nature and it would have... Clary it would have killed you. We had a decision to make, save your or save the baby." Sebastian went silent and watched Clary break into a million pieces as she realised what had happened.

Clary's heart exploded into a million pieces like a shattered mirror, she slowly moved her hand down to her stomach and felt her the flatness used to be the bump she had gotten used to. That's what the empty feeling in her heart the feeling she would never get back, she had lost her child for good. She let out a cry as the tears started to fall. She kept asking herself, '_Why? Why? Why?" _

Sebastian pulled the broken girl into her arms, he cradled her in attempt to sooth her but it only made her cry harder, he felt the wetness of her tears against his shirt. His eyes started to water with each cry, tears threatened him for the second time in his life. He was asking himself the same question as Clary, '_Why? Why? Why?' _

Jace sat in the kitchen he could here her cries all they way down the hall. His heart broke at the thought of Sebastian comforting her, '_it should be me in there! Not him! How can she even stand to be around him, after what he did to her? Wait... No... She couldn't have... She wouldn't have... She loves ME not him! No! No! NO!' _Jace jumped to his feet and stormed down the hall and burst through the door. Clary was being held by Sebastian, this only fuelled his anger. He came over and yanked Sebastian off her, throwing him across the room. Clary looked at Jace in shock.

She was scared as she saw the anger in him, "CLARY! How could you! I thought you LOVED ME!"

'_He knows_.' "Jace-"

"Don't you dare tell me that in not right, when you went with him you went willingly didn't you?! DIDN'T YOU?! Look me in the eye and tell me you don't have feeling for him!"

Clary's heart started racing she looked over to Sebastian, he had been knocked unconscious,which made her stomach tighten.

Se looked between Jace and Sebastian, "I... I... I can't..." Clary looked down in shame.

She flinched as Jace's voice got louder and was filled with even more anger and heart ache, "HOW! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!"

A hint of anger rose in Clary, "I DO LOVE YOU! I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU! I'VE NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU SINCE THE DAY I MET YOU EVEN WHEN WE THOUGHT WE WERE BROTHER AND SISTER! EVEN WHEN YOU PUSHED ME AWAY, EVEN WHEN YOU WEREN'T YOU! I'VE NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU!"

Clary didn't realise that she had stood up and was looking Jace straight in the eye. Her anger, heart ache and fear dulled the pain.

Jace's eyes slightly softened, "But you have feelings for him! Of all the people! You chose him! He's evil! He killed dozens of people, he is a monster! And yet again you want to know what makes it even worse is that HE'S YOUR BROTHER! WE LOVED EACH TOHRR WHEN WE THOUGHT WE WERE BROTHER AND SISTER BUT WE DID BECAUSE WE KNEW DEEP DOWN THAT IT WAS A LIE! BUT YOU KNOW THAT YOU TWO ARE SIBLINGS! YOU KNOW DEEP DOWN HOW WRONG IT IS! DON'T YOU?"

"NO!"

Jace took a step back in shock, "What?"

Clary looked over at Seastian one more time and then back at Jace, "Jace I never stopped loving you and never will. But I honestly it doesn't feel wrong, at first I was disgusted in myself for feeling this way but now it honestly feels right."

Jace's anger rose again and along with disgust. He raised his hand to slap her across the face in disgust but his hand was stopped mid air.

Sebastian was standing in front of Clary, his hand gripped tightly around Jace's wrist, his eyes were fierce, "Don't you dare touch her." His voice was strong.

Clary watched in shock at the scene before her, if this was 6 months ago it would be the absolute opposite, Sebastian would be attacking her and Jace protecting. But her world had been turned upside down since then but not even in her wildest nightmare had she thought Jace would try to hurt her, not intetially anway. The boys stood infront of each other, Sebastian still had a grip on Jace's wrist, they stared at eachother friecrl; fighting for dominace.

Jace's voice was harsh as he spat, "you disgust me… both of you, I'll tell the Clave and you, both of you will be executed for your betrail!"

Clary sucked in a harsh breath, she had never heard Jace talk like that to anyone. He sounded like… he sounded like… Valentine. Clary's heart shattered even more at the realisation. She saw the pain in his eyes, hidden behind the disgust and hatred. She saw the heart broken boy and knew she had to do something. She slowly stepped around Sebastian, placing her hand over his, Sebastian releasing his grip on Jace. Sebastian's eye locked on Jace, Jace's had drifted to stare into Clary's sympathetic ones. She intertwined their fingers, and looked deep into his broken soul. She gently brushed his angular jaw with the back if her hand.

Her voice was soft and distraught, "I will love you, forever and always but it's not the same type of love anymore. I love you Jace, remember that. But Sebastian has changed and so have I. It's time for you to let me go… let me go Jace…"

For a single tear ran down Jace's cheek, he shook his head silently.

Clary felt the tears burning at the back of her throat, "Yes. It's time to let go…" She leaned up and brushed her lips against his for one last goodbye. Jace squeenzed his eyes shut, wishing that this wasn't happening. She whispered into his ear, he could hear how broken she was, "Good-bye Jace."

He kept his eyes closed as he felt her body move away and her finger untangle themelves from his. He kept them shut for a moment and then slowly opened. He looked around, they were gone… she was gone.

**Did you like it? Please Review!**


	28. Chapter 28

**unedited**

**Here it, Chapter 28. Sorry about the shortness but it needed to be. **

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 28**

Clary stepped through the portal and into The Apartment with Sebastian. Her mind was racing with what just happened. Did she really just tell Jace to let her go? Did she really just loose everything? Did she really just loose her _baby_? As soon her feet touched the cold tiles she fell to her knees, her chest was heavy as if someone had strapped the whole world to it and it was her job to carry it. Her breaths came out in short painful gasps as tears burned her eyes. Sebastian kneeled down next to her; he knew what was wrong but had no idea how to help. He rubbed her back soothingly; he wasn't sure how she would feel if he pulled her into a comforting embrace right now because of everything that had happened.

Clary tried to calm herself as much as she could, "W…W…W…What did…What did I just do?"

He had no idea how to reply so he stayed silent. Clary slowly rose to her feet, with the assistance of Sebastian. She made her way up to _her _room, depressing silence filled the Apartment as they walked up the stairs and down the hallway. As she reached the door Sebastian opened it for her. He saw he knees weaken at the sight of the room; all the memories came flooding back. She felt her knees give in but before she hit the ground she was swiftly picked up by Sebastian and carried over to the bed, she sobbed quietly, her head leaning against his chest. He pulled the covers back and laid her down gently. He pulled the covers back over her and kissed her forehead, he felt strange doing this, these emotions were all so foreign to him. As soon as she lay down on the bed, she curled up into a ball and averted her eyes away from Sebastian, another tear escaped as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He hesitantly walked over to the door; he took one last worried look back at his broken angel and then exited the room, closing the door behind him. Once Clary heard the door close she let the tears fall completely and the cries escape her lips. She tried to muffle her cries with the pillow, her hands clenching the bed sheets.

'_What just happened? How could I have done that? I told him to let me go. Maybe something is wrong with me. The way he looked at me. Oh god… I've lost him, I've lost everyone even…'_ Clary reached down and placed a hand on her stomach, which cause her cries to become louder.

_'I've ruined everything…'_

**Did you like it? Please Review!**


	29. Chapter 29

**unedited**

**Here it is, Chapter 29. Hope you like it!**

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 29**

For the next week Clary spent most of her time in her room, Sebastian leaving her plates of food at her door but never staying to talk. Even though she hated admitting it but she **was** avoiding him. After the first two days she had gotten over leaving Jace and the rest of her loved ones, it was just like the first time, now she was still dealing with the her loss. She never would have thought she would have been this upset over it she knew she wasn't ready for a baby but ever since she lost hers she had this emptiness inside her, an emptiness that would never be replaced. She was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, her hands resting on her stomach and her mind blank but every now and then flashes of that night would appear causing a single tear to roll down her cheek. She snapped out of her heart aching thoughts as she heard a knock on the door, this is what Sebastian would do when he brought food to her. She slowly pulled the blankets off and sat up. She dragged her feet over to the door and opened it. A little gasp of surprise escaped her lips as she saw Sebastian standing there with a plate of cookies in his hands; he was never there when he brought food to her. His shoulders were tense, he was wearing black jeans and a tight black t-shirt, his hair stuck to forehead and was laced with sweat, his chest was rising and falling distinctively, his eyes were locked on Clary and were full of pain and annoyance. Clary couldn't move, she had forgotten how breath taking he was, her eyes skimmed over his body and then landed on his eyes and her tears threatened to return. He shoved past her and into the room. She hesitated for a moment before closing the door and turning around to face him. She watched as he paced back and forth, the plate of cookies still in his hand, he stopped and looked down at it and then up at her.

He handed the plate to her abruptly, "Here. I remembered how when we were in England you we had these at that café and you fell in love with them." He looked down and the corner of his mouth twitched up at the memory, "You made me buy like fifteen packets to take with us when we left."

Clary slightly smiled at the memory. She walked over to her bed and sat down, looking down at the plate of cookies and then back up at Sebastian. He looked over at her, their eyes locked for a moment before Clary looked away as she felt her eyes start to water at the _perfect_ memories.

She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the tears away as Sebastian's voice came out hurt, "Clary…"

They way he said her name ringed in her ears causing memories of every time he said her name to dance across her mind. She forced herself to look up at him.

Their eyes locked and Sebastian spoke again, "Clary… we… need to fix this, I know it's been hard and everything is confusing right now but we need to move on."

Clary felt hurt and anger rise up in her, she spat out, "Move on? How can you say that?! You have no idea what it felt like for me to lose… lose… lose our child, everyday I live with that pain, I live every day feeling empty and broken and as if I can never be fixed." She choked out the last few words, "You'll never understand!"

Sebastian's eyes narrowed, "You think I have no idea what you're feeling?! How do you think I feel! I lost a child too! And do you know how much it hurt that I couldn't be with you for those four months?! Going to ultrasounds, shopping for baby stuff, picking out names! My heart ached every moment I wasn't with you! I spent every day looking for you! I put everything on hold FOR YOU! I didn't even know if you were alive or if you were still pregnant or if they had forced you to get rid of it! And then I found you and you were healthy and you were so beautiful, carrying our baby. But then you collapsed and I was given the choice between saving you or the baby. Do you have any idea how hard that choice was?! But I chose you Clary! I CHOSE YOU! Clary I've NEVER felt like this about anyone! I didn't even think I was able to feel like this! And I finally get you back and you disappear and avoid me! Do you know I sit outside your door every night and listen to you cry yourself to sleep not knowing if I was aloud to go in and hold you?! I so badly wanted to hold you in my arms and just be there for you!" an eerie silence settled into the room. Clary looked into his eyes mildly shocked at what he had just told her. He walked over and sat down on the bed with her. He slid the plate from her hand, discarding it to the other side of the bed, entangling his fingers with hers, his gaze never unlocking from hers.

He swallowed, choking down the tears that he could feel coming up, his voice soft, "I… I love you Clary."

A little gasp escaped Clary's lips and her mind started racing, '_He loves me?'_ Her mind raced with the what he had just told her and images of how much fun they had together and how easy it was to be around him and how gentle he could be at time and also how rough but she loved that about him '_Wait! What? Love? Love about him? Do I love him? Maybe… or … I don't know? Do I love him?'_ She looked into his broken yet hopeful eyes; they were nothing like when he first touched her in Prague so long ago. She liked to think she had something to do with that and that's when she knew. She reached up and cupped his cheek, he leaned into her hand; he had missed her touch so badly.

Her voice was soft, "I love you Sebastian."

His eyes lit up and a smile spread across his face, he couldn't hold himself back anymore, he reached up and kissed her lovingly. She smiled against his enthusiastic kiss and then kissed him back. After moments of excitement and bliss they broke apart in need of breath. Sebastian rested his forehead on hers; he couldn't wipe the smile from his face. They stared into each other's joy filled eyes but they soon turned to lust. He lightly brushed his lips against her and then deepened the kiss. A little moan escaped her lips allowing him access; his slid his tongue into her mouth, dancing with hers and moaned at the sensation. It had been what felt like forever since he touched her, kissed her or was even near her. He slid his hand around her to her back as she slid hers around his neck and entangled her fingers in his hair. She pulled him closer wanting more. He leaned forward, pushing her down to lie on the bed, him on top. He ran his hands down her sides wanting to remember everything about her. She let out a little moan as he lightly bit her bottom lip. He started trailing kisses down to her neck and then started sucking and slightly nibbling on her pulse causing her to tug on his hair and tilt her head back giving him easier access. He smiled lightly; he had missed the sounds she made and the way she reacted to his touch. He slowly ran his hands under her shirt and started rubbing her breasts causing another, louder moan to escape her and her breathing to quicken. He pulled off her shirt and his own, tossing them to the side. He clashed his lips with hers once again, her hands roaming over his bare, muscular back. God how she missed him! He moved his lips to her aroused nipples and swirled his tongue around it causing a little gasp escape her at the perfect feeling. As he kept her moaning he ran his hand down to the edge of her shorts and started tugging them down. At the feeling of him pulling down her pants flashes of the night she lost her baby flashed across her mind, the pain, the screaming, the burning, finding out what happened and ... the emptiness. She jolted upright pushing Sebastian off her. She saw hurt and confusion written across his face. She hated that she couldn't, not after what happened. She felt her eyes sting as tears rolled down her cheeks, she pulled her legs to her chest and tucked her head into her knees and sobbed, "I'm sorry… I just… I just cant." She suddenly felt his warm arms; his warm familiar comforting arms wrap around her and pull her to his chest.

He whispered soothingly, "It's ok. I understand. It's ok. Shh, shh."

She leaned into his embrace, inhaling is scent that se loved so much. She hadn't realised how much she had actually missed him until now. He slowly laid down on the bed, his arms wrapped around her, her head buried in his chest, her sobs starting to slow and her eyes starting to droop. Her ran his finger through her fiery locks as she drifted off into a dreamless sleep and he soon joined her in peaceful slumber.

_Everything felt right._

**Did you like it? Please Review!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Unedited**

**Here it is, Chapter 30! Hope you like it! **

**Enjoy! **

**chapter 30**

Clary slowly woke to the gentleness of Sebastian's fingers running through her hair and down her back.

She sleepily opened her eyes and looked up and met his soft gaze, "How long have you been awake?"

He smiled at her, "Not long."

She narrowed her eyes, "How long?"

He chuckled, "An hour but I don't care, I like watching you sleep."

She slightly blushed and nuzzled into his chest and sighed peacefully. This felt right but then her mind flashed back to last night and her eyes started to water, she wanted him so bad but her heart wouldn't allow it.

Sebastian leaned down and kissed her forehead lightly, "Hey none of that now, we're going to get through this… together." She looked up at him and smiled weakly. He gently brushed the back of his hand across her cheek; she leaned into his warm touch. She then felt his warm lips brush against hers. She closed her eyes and enjoyed this moment. She then heard a crunch and looked up, Sebastian was eating a cookie. She smiled at how childish he smiled when he noticed him eating the cookie.

She raised an eyebrow at him, "Give me one."

He smiled and brought the plate over. She sat up and he sat up as well, he placed the plate in between them and started eating another. Clary picked one up, took a bite and little moan escaped her, "I've missed these so much!" He smiled at the Clary he knew and loved. They ended up talking about how she had moved in with Magnus and that he had looked after her and seemed to be the only one that didn't judge her for not getting rid of the baby. She seemed so comfortable talking about it with him. He told her about the different ways that he tried to find her and how he even had members of The Circle looking for her and how for the first two months even Jacinta had come to help him but had to go back home because of some personal issues, he didn't know what but just that it was something bad and caused her a lot of distress. Clary thought she should probably check in on her and see how she is. They finished the plate of cookies and Clary pouted, she was feeling more and more like herself ever second she was with Sebastian.

He sighed humorously, "Do you want some more."

She smiled childishly and nodded.

He stood up and took her hand, "Come on then."

He dragged her out the door and then started walking down the glass steps and into the kitchen holding each other's hand. Clary sat down on a stool at the bench while Sebastian opened the cupboard. Clary's jaw dropped as she saw what looked like 30 packets of the cookies.

He picked a box up, turned around and smiled at her expression. He shut the cupboard and sat down next to her. He opened the packet and placed a cookie in between his teeth, she grinned and bit the exposed part of the cookie. He ate his part as she munched on hers. Their eyes locked and desire started running through them. Clary leaned forward, as she swallowed her cookie. He swallowed his; the sexual tension was unbearable. Clary leaned even closer, her hand sliding up his leg;a shiver of pleasure went through him. She placed a soft kiss on his neck and started sucking on his pulse. He tilted his head back and a little groan escaped his lips, she smiled against his neck. He ran his hand up her thigh causing her body to shiver but her shoulders stiffened and her heart tightened.

She yanked back in her seat and looked down in shame, "I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't have… I-I can't."

She looked up into Sebastian's calm eyes, "Hey, it's ok. You need to trust me though if we're going to get through this."

She opened her mouth to say that she does trust him but no words came out because she knew deep down that when he touched her all she felt was the emptiness that was left inside her. She leaned over and nuzzled into the nook of his neck, "I know… I'm sorry."

He wrapped his warm, strong arms around her and whispered soothingly in her ear, "It's ok…But do you want to trust me." She nodded against his neck. "Then let me help you trust me."

She looked at him slightly confused. He smiled weakly and intertwined their fingers together. He led her back up to her room.

He kissed her gently before telling her "Wait here."

She was still slightly confused as he exited the room. She went over and sat on the bed waiting for him, '_What is he doing_?' she thought just before he re-entered the room holding a large black box, she knew that box, it was the box they kept their… restraints in. Her shoulders tensed as she noticed it.

He noticed her tension and told her, "It's ok. You have to trust me." His voice was so calm that Clary relaxed.

He placed the box at the end of the bed and then sat down next to her. He brushed a few loose strands of her fiery hair off her face, caressing her cheek gently. She couldn't help but lean into his warm touch. He leaned forward and brushed his lips gently against hers. She went to lean into the kiss but he pulled away before she got the chance.

His voice was calm, "Take you clothes off."

She was slightly hesitant at first but then she stood up and slowly took her shirt off and then slowly slid her pyjama shorts down along with her green panties. She stood almost calmly in front of him completely naked but her eyes said that she was confused and slightly panicking. Sebastian stood up and pulled his shirt off as he walked over to her and kissed her gently. She ran her hands across his muscular chest and wrapped them around him, feeling his strong shoulders. He cupped her cheeks in his hands, never breaking form the gentle kiss. He slowly moved her over to the bed and gently laid her down on the bed. He kissed her forehead and moved off her and over to the box. Her heart started racing as he pulled out ropes that were so familiar to her.

He crawled back over to her, placing the ropes next to her, he leaned down and kissed her softly and whispered, "Trust me Clary. Remember how this was your favourite." A little shiver went through her as she felt his warm breath against her ear and thought of how he was right it was her favourite way. He locked eyes with her and slowly moved his hands down her arms, intertwining their fingers and bringing her hands above her head. He held them there with one hand and with the other he picked up one of the ropes and tied her wrists together. It felt agonizingly slow but he wanted it like that, to make sure she was slowly beginning to trust him. He kissed her neck softly as he tied her hands; to his pleasure a little moan escaped her lips. He locked eyes with her again just before he trailed kisses down her body, a little shiver went through her as he kissed her lower stomach but to her surprise he moved over to her thighs and down her legs. He reached mid calve and then looked back up at her and locked eyes with her, she had been watching him as he nurtured her body. They locked eyes as her reached over to the ropes again he slowly spread her legs and tied the ropes around each ankle, tying them to the end of the bed.

He moved back up to her and just before he kissed her he told her once again, "Trust me Clary."

She slightly nodded and he kissed her gently, this time slowly prying her lips open and sliding his tongue in, gently exploring her warm mouth, memorizing every moment. Clary's body ached for him but her heart was still closed up but with every touch it slowly started to unlock. She was desperate to run her fingers through his soft hair and hold him close but she knew that this was probably the best way for her to let him in. He started trailing kisses down her neck and started softly sucking on her pulse, she tilted her head back allowing him more access, lightly biting on her bottom lip and another little moan escaped, Sebastian couldn't hold back his small smile.

He whispered against her neck as his hand slid down her body, "Trust me Clary." He ran his hand across her front causing a little whimper of need escape her but the images and feeling of emptiness hit her again and she stuttered out, "I-I-I can't."

He didn't move his hand but kept it in the same spot he moved up to her lips and brushed his against hers, "Trust me Clary."

She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the tears away but failing as a tear rolled down her cheek. Sebastian's heart slightly broke as he kissed away the tear, his voice still calm, "Trust me Clary."

She slowly shook her head, "I-I-I can't… I'm… I'm sorry."

He leaned down, his breath sending shivers through her body, "shh, shh, you need to trust me Clary. You CAN trust me. I love you Clary." He was looking deep into her eyes, "I love you Clary. You can trust me." He brushed his lips against hers, "Trust me Clary."

He ran his hand across her front once again, never unlocking his gaze from Clary's. He ran his hand across the front one more time, which got the reaction he had hoped for, another little moan escaped her. The corner of his mouth twitched up. He kissed her gently as he slowly slid his fingers inside her warm folds, finding her small hidden bud and started teasing it softly. She moaned even more and gently moved her hips against his hand, she threw her head back and bit her bottom lip as he rolled it in between two fingers. He smiled at her reaction and started sucking on her pulse. He started trailing hot pecks down her stomach and towards her heat. He looked up at her and they locked eyes, his eyes asking for reassurance and she answered his silent question with a small nod. He smiled and slowly swirled his tongue around her bud. He heard another moan come from the beautiful redhead. God how he missed her sounds! He reached up and gently caressed her cheek; she leaned into his hand and moaned again.

She mumbled out, "Sebastian, please…" he wasn't completely sure if she was asking him to stop or to continue.

So he moved up and kissed her once again, "Do you trust me?"

She was still a little uncertain, "Y-Y… n-n… Yes… maybe."

He kissed her again and then looked deeply into her eyes, "Do you trust me?"

Her heart finally opened up and everything felt right, her voice was steady, "Yes."

He smiled and kissed her while positioning himself. He lifted her thigh as much as he could considering she was tied up. He slowly entered her heat, she moaned at his penetration. He slowly pushed himself all the way inside her.

She bit his bottom lip as he pressed against her spot and moaned, "Move."

He grinned and started thrusting inside her, her moans became louder and more often, his breaths became shorter and sharper. As he hit her spot she let out a little scream, he had almost forgotten that she was a screamer. He grinned and pounded into her harder and harder, smashing against her spot just right and causing her tiny screams to become even louder and more intense. She felt herself start to tighten, her thighs started to quiver and she felt herself contract around his giant. Her juices flowed out of her like a river. Immediately meeting her release was Sebastian's hot juices exploding inside her hot panted and collapsed on top of her, his hot breath against her neck sending more tingles through her.

He lifted his head and kissed her lovingly, mumbling against their kiss, "I love you."

Clary couldn't help but smile, "I love you too," She then whispered in his ear, "Thank you for helping me learn to trust you… I trust you Sebastian."

He smiled and started untying her legs and hands, as she was released of her restraints she leaned her head against his warm chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her against him. He kissed herhead softly and started running his fingers through her hair. She felt her eyes start to droop and her body drift off into slumber.

Everything felt right, everything felt _perfect…_

**Did you like it? Please review! **

**Ps. Thought I should let you know that I've written two different endings for this story do it will 'techniqually' be 40 chapters not 39! **

**Thanks! **


	31. Chapter 31

**unedited**

**Here it is, Chapter 31. Hope you like it! **

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 31. **

_Clary looked around at her surroundings, she was standing on the beach of Lake Lyn. The sky was covered in black smoke and the Lake was blood red. Clary felt her heart start racing, she suddenly felt like her throat was burning. Her knees gave in as a coughing fit emerged. She clawed at her throat and her eyes widened with shock as she noticed the spatters of blood jump from her mouth, her tongue burned like acid. Her stomach felt like it collapsed on her, she fell to the ground clutching it. She rolled onto her back in pain and watched the sky rain blood. Clary screamed again as she felt her inside burn. She gasped as she felt strong hands wrap around her neck and pull her to her feet; she looked up and saw golden eyes filled with rage, hurt and disgust. Jace. His mouth was twisted into a wicked grin. _

_His voice shook her very soul, "You're disgusting! You're evil; deep down you know you are! He may have demon blood in him but you're worse, you're a disgrace! To yourself and to everyone you know! You sicken me! I HATE YOU! YOU DESERVE TO DIE!"_

"CLARY! CLARY WAKE-UP!"

Clary's eyes jolted open, her heart was racing, sweat laced her skin, her hair sticking to the back of her neck and temples. Warm hands rested on her shoulders, her eyes were darting around the room and ended up landing on Sebastian's concerned ones. She sat up abruptly, her throat burned as she felt tears form behind her eyes. She tried to force them down but failed as a tear escaped down her cheek.

Sebastian pulled her into his arms and tried to calm her down as more tears fell, "Shh, shh, it was just a nightmare, it's ok, I'm here…"

After a few more tears Clary finally calmed down. She sat opposite Sebastian on the bed, in uncomfortable silence.

Sebastian broke the depressing silence, "Are you going to tell me what happened?"  
She looked up and locked eyes with his, she forced the tears away and succeeded this time, "I… I was at Lake Lyn… Jace was there and … and… and he." She looked down and swallowed awkwardly.

"You're not over him are you?" His voice was full of hurt.

Clary looked up in shock at what he had said, "It has nothing to do with that, in the dream he was trying to kill me, he kept saying that I'm a disgrace and evil and how I deserve to die!" Another tear of pain rolled down her cheek; "If I feel anything for Jace it's fear!"

Sebastian was a little taken back by her sudden outburst; he reached over and intertwined his fingers with hers, looking deep into her eyes, "I'll never let anyone hurt you."

Clary's anger was immediately gone and her heart ached. She leaned forward, cupping his cheek, brushing her lips against his, "I know." She kissed him again, deepening it so that her tongue slid into his mouth and explored it, wanting to never forget him. As she broke away from the kiss she jumped off the bed and slipped on a shirt and a pair of shorts, not bothering with underwear.

He looked at her questioningly, "Where are you going."

She shrugged, "I'm hungry."

He smiled at her, "You're always hungry."

She grinned, "So? Now come make me food." She ordered childishly.

He laughed as she dragged him to his feet and she chucked a pair of loose track pants. She dragged him out of the room and down stair and into the kitchen.

She swung him around the other side of the bench as she propped herself up on a stool.

He sighed humorously, "What would you like?"

She dropped her chin on her hands and asked childishly, "Spaghetti please!"

"Yes my Highness." He grinned as he teased her.

As he started preparing the ingredients Clary thought back to the day before she was taken back to the institute, "Speaking of royalty, if I recall correctly you asked me to be your queen…"

Sebastian stopped what he was doing and looked at her, he smiled weakly, "I-um… yeah."

She picked up a dry piece of pasta and ate it, "So what are our plans."

She had seriously gotten over the whole wanting to 'evil' thing, it actually kind of seemed interesting to her.

He looked down at the bench, "I had to… I had to 'post-pone' some things while I was looking for you… I-I basically put everything on hold and only in this past week have I started things up again."

She swallowed awkwardly, '_He stopped everything for me?_'

He smiled shyly and she smiled at his awkwardness.

She leaned over the bench and lifted his chin, she locked eyes with him, "I love you." She brushed her lips against his and then leaned back in her chair smiling.

He grinned at her and continued getting things ready.

She picked up another piece of dry pasta and started munching on it, "So what are our plans?"

He smiled at how she called it '_our_ plans' but thought it was too early to tell her, "I can't tell you at this moment, it's too early."

She pouted and walked over to him, she placed her hands on his chest and leaned against him, looking up at him with her best puppy dog eyes, "What happened to trusting each other?"

"It's not that I don't trust you it's that it's too early to have any final plans. It all depends how my next few business meetings go." He explained.

She sighed, "Ok."

She leaned up and kissed him lovingly, his hands slid to her hips, pulling her closer. Their kiss deepened as Clary threw her hands around his neck, entangling her fingers in his soft hair, slightly tugging on it causing a groan to escape his lips. Clary took this opportunity and slipped her tongue inside his warm mouth, entangling it with his. A little moan escaped her as he lightly bit her bottom lip. He ran his hand over her thighs and lifted her up, legs wrapped around his waist. Never breaking from the kiss he pushed all the ingredients off the bench and onto the floor. He sat her down on the bench and pulled her shirt off over her head and discarded it to the floor. He kissed her and gently pushed her down on the bench, so the she was lying down with her legs hanging of the edge. He started trailing kisses down her body, slightly lingering at her pulse and nipples, both causing moans to escape her lips. As he reached the hem of her shorts he kissed just above them and then yanked them off in one quick motion. She let out a little yelp of excitement at the sudden action. He grinned and started trailing kisses across her inner thigh. She slightly raised her hips wanting more. He grinned and then ran his tongue across her heat.

She let out another moan, a lot louder than the others, "More."

He grinned once again and obeyed her request, he slid his tongue inside her folds, swirling it around her bud. She threw her head back and moaned once again. He started sucking on her sensitive bud, swirling his tongue around it, causing her moans to become louder and more often. With one hand she slightly gripped the edge of the bench and with the other she locked it into his hair, never wanting him to move from where he was. He noticed her desire and gently slid his finger inside her warmth. He thrusted it a few times and then found her spot and teased it to his will. She let out what he was waiting for, a scream, as he made the 'come-here' motion against it. He smiled and continued this, his tongue still swirling around her bud. She screamed more and more.

She was able to scream out, "I NEED YOU! I NEED YOU NOW! OH GOD SEBASTIAN! PLEASE!"

He grinned and pulled out of her, he moved up her body, clashing his lips against her as he took his pants off. He bit her bottom lip and pulled away from the kiss. He gripped her legs and spread them as far as possible. He positioned himself and thrusted into her. She screamed his name at he sudden penetration, god she forgot how big he was! He gripped her hands and pinned them above her head. . He thrusted into her, she screamed as he hit her spot every time, he moaned at the sensation of her being wrapped around him.

She screamed his name over and over, which only turned him on even more. He could feel the pressure rising inside him. She could feel her muscles start to tighten.

"OH GOD! SEBASTIAN!" She arched her back and screamed, her thighs quivered and her muscles tightened around his giant, her juices squirting everywhere. She immediately felt his hot explosion inside her hot core. He collapsed on her chest, both panting and hearts racing.

He lifted his head from the nook of her neck, brushing his lips against hers, "You're amazing."

"I know." She giggled at her own cocky comment; he also chuckled at her reply.

He slowly pulled out of her and stood up. She sat up and kissed him lovingly. She hopped off the bench into her shaky legs, but regained her ended up regaining her balance. She went to pick up her clothes but stood back up immediately, gripping the edge of the bench, she was still _very_ sensitive. Sebastian smiled as he shrugged on his pants and picked her clothes up for her. She reached out to take them from him, but instead of him handing her clothes to her he picked her up bridal style.

"What are you doing?" She asked him as carried her out of the room.

He answered cockily, "Well, I'm very big and that caused you to be very sensitive so I it's my duty to make sure your comfortable while you wait for your food."

She raised an eyebrow at him, "You think you big?"

"I know I'm big!" he then whispered seductively, "and you know it as well." She grinned at his answer.

He carried her into the lounge room and placed her down on the couch handing her the clothes, "Now, you relax here while I go cook spaghetti with the ingredients that haven't been destroyed form our recent 'activity'." He winked at her as he exited the room.

Clary physically couldn't stand up so she attempted in putting her shorts on while sitting down but failed, so she just decide to wear her shirt.

'_What did she care if she didn't wear pants around him?_' It's not like he hasn't seen her naked! She smiled at the thoughts.

She turned on the plasma and flicked through the channels, she ended up watching re-runs of the big bang theory. She smiled as she thought of 13-year-old Clary forcing nerdy little Simon to watch episode after episode of it.

As Sebastian walked in holding their plate of food Sheldon was making one of his not-so-funny jokes,

"**_Bazinga!"_**

Clary started laughing, as she understood the show. Sebastian eyed her confusingly, "I don't get it."

She smiled at him and used the answer she used most of the time, "It's a mundane thing."

He shrugged and placed the plates down on the coffee table along with their cutlery. He flopped down on the couch next to her and kissed her cheek causing her to blush at his sweetness.

He then grinned at her, "I didn't know this was pants optional."

She shoved him playfully, "It's not my fault that I physically can't put them on, if I recall correctly you played a big part in that."

"Yeah I did! A **really** big part!"

"Now you're just being cocky."

He grinned slyly, "That's the point."

She put her head in her hands, "That's not what I meant!"

He laughed and kissed her cheek once again, "Come on, let's eat."

She smiled at him and sneaked a quick kiss before they started eating. She hadn't realised how much she missed his cooking until she took her first bite. They talked and laughed while they ate, the TV in the background. As they washed up Clary still hadn't put on any pants and she didn't want to. As Sebastian washed the last dish and Clary dried it and turned to him running her hand down his bare chest, hooking her finger into the edge of his pants. Her eyes were full of hunger as she slid down onto her knees, pulling his pants down as she went.

She looked up and locked her gaze with his; he was looking down at her with so much lust and desire. She grinned wickedly, wrapping her hand around his giant, slowly moving her hand up and down it. He became harder and harder with every rub. He was watching her in awe. She licked her lips as she noticed the pre-cum. She looked up at him one more time and winked. She ran her tongue across the tip causing him to throw his head back and groaned. He gripped the edge of the bench as she wrapped her mouth around him, her tongue swirling around his arousal. He moaned her name as she bobbed up and down his giant.

_'God she's amazing!'_

He looked down at her as he heard a moan escape her throat causing it to send sensational vibrations through him. He grinned as he noticed that she was touching herself, '_God she's hot when she does that!'_

She looked up at his grinning face; she popped out of him and stood up. She shoved him so he was lying on the ground. She pulled her shirt off and walked over to him. He stared up at her as she looked down at him, a sly grin on her face. She kneeled down, knees either side of head. She leaned forward and took him in her mouth once again. She bobbed up and down him vigorously and then stopped halfway and moaned, Sebastian's tongue swirled around her bud, she was dripping wet by now. She continued sucking him but couldn't keep control any more so she popped out of him and sat up. She moaned and tilted her head back, his tongue teasing her in all the right places, she reached down and gripped his giant and started pumping him. She screamed at the sensation as he let out his own moan of pleasure, sending sensational vibrations through her. She pumped him faster causing him to moan again and her to scream. Another moan escaped his lips, pushing Clary off the edge. She screamed his name as she release, she fell down and started bobbing on him once again which quickly led to Sebastian's release. She rolled off him and collapsed on the cold ground next to him.

The sat panting for a moment before she turned to him and grinned, "There's more where that came from." She winked and stood up.

He leaned up, resting on his elbows, "Oh really?"

She grinned wickedly at him and turned around on her heel, she walked over to the stairs, purposely moving her hips. She turned back around and looked at him with lustful eyes. He jumped to his feet and started striding over to her. She giggled and ran up the stairs, Sebastian running after her.

**Did you like it? Please Review!**


	32. Chapter 32

**unedited**

**Sorry i haven't updated in a few days, my internet was stuffing up so i will be posting a few chapters at once. Here it is, Chapter 32. **

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 32**

_Clary stood in a black abiss, she spun around as she heard the soft lullaby playing. She knew that lullaby, it was one her mother used to sing to her;_

_ ( ) _

_I see the moon, the moon sees me  
shining through the leaves of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I love._

Over the mountain, over the sea,  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I love.

I hear the lark, the lark hears me  
singing from the leaves of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one I love,

Over the mountains, over the sea  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one I love.

_As the song repeated a worn wooden cradle appears in the centre of the room, it rocks slowly, back and forth, back and forth. As Clary took a step toward the crib she stopped mid step and her stomach twisted as blood leaked from the edge, slowly pooling onto the floor. Clary's eyes started to burned as blood tears ran down her face. She collapsed to her knees as her insides burned like the fire in hell. Her lungs coughed up acidic blood, burning her the floor. _

_A strong, rough hand gripped her chin and lifted her gaze abruptly, glaring down at her were two black eyes, she knew who it was immediately. Sebastian._

_He saw the fear, confusion and hurt in her eyes and his lips shifted into a wicked grin._

_As she watched his lips quirk into a grin she also watched him fade into another terrifying lover. Jace. Although his eyes never changed from the bottomless black they were. Clary willed the strength to jerk away from him. _

_His laughed at her struggle, the lullaby stopped and his gaze hardened on hers. Suddenly she heard the cry of a child, no, not a child, a baby. She went with her instinct and scrambled to her feet, darting over to the bleeding crib. Just before she reached the crib she stopped, her entire being screaming at her not to go any further. She gasped as Jace gripped the back of her neck and shoved her over to the crib, leaning her over the edge of it forcing her to look. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to see the evilness that lay bellow her. _

_He screamed furiously, "LOOK! LOOK!"_

_As he shook her eyes opened and a blood curdling scream escaped her. A blood drenched mattress laid in the crib, and in the centre of it all a small white lamb teddy, slowly soaking up the blood that pooled bellow it. He laughed once again, it echoes through the air, pounding through Clary's head. _

_She let small whimpers, "please… please stop… I'm sorry… please make it stop… please…"_

"Clary! Clary wake up!" Her eyes flung open, Sebastian was shaking her lightly in an attempt to wake her. She yanked out of his grip and brought her knees to her chest, tears running down her face. She locked her gaze with his; it was full of hurt and concern.

He reached out to touch her arm comfortingly but she flinched away, his voice was soft and full of concern, "Another Nightmare?"

She nodded slowly and another tear rolled down her cheek. She choked as she remembered the searing pain of her tears in the nightmare.

She suddenly felt strong, comforting arms wrap around her and warm, soothing breath in her ear, "Shh, I'm here, it's ok, I'm here."

She nuzzled into him, inhaling his familiar scent and letting her tears dampen his shirt.

Clary slowly pulled out of his embrace, she wiped at her tear stained cheeks and stood up.

"Where are you going?" He asked, curiosity that was overpowered by concern.

"A shower, I just… I just need some time to… to think." She answered, her voice slightly choking out the words.

She walked over to the bathroom in eerie silence. She walked in and shut and locked the door behind her. She turned the shower on and stripped her clothes. She stepped into the shower, letting the heated water run over her body. She coiled her arms around herself, holding herself in an attempt to hide. She leaned up against the wall and slowly slid down it, clutching her knees to her chest. She sobbed as the water ran down her body and down the drain. The images ran through her head; the blood, his eyes, everything. The lullaby hummed in her head, instead of bringing the comfort it usually would, it brought pain and fear. She sat there, her mind pounding in pain, sobs escaping, the water running over her body without a care in the world and the same words ringing through her head in her mother's sweet voice;

_I see the moon, the moon sees me  
shining through the leaves of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I love._

Over the mountain, over the sea,  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I love.

I hear the lark, the lark hears me  
singing from the leaves of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one I love,

Over the mountains, over the sea  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one _**I love**__…_

She asked herself the question she hadn't asked in what felt like years, '_What's wrong with me?'_

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	33. Chapter 33

**unedited**

**Sorry this is short but it's a filler chapter. Here it is, Chapter 33. **

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 33.- filler chapter**

"Clary! Please come back to me! Clary!"

She felt two strong hands pressing down on her chest and then warm breath being forced into her mouth. Her lungs were on fire as she rolled on her side and choked up what felt like acid. She choked up the remaining contents and then rolled back onto her back. She was immediately pulled into a tight embrace, her head was spinning, _'What's happening?!' _

She was let go and leaned against the bath. Sebastian's face was painted with concern, pain and joy all at once.

Her throat was sore and her stomach was churning, "Wha-what happened?"

"You went for a shower and I heard you crying and just thought you needed some time but after twenty minutes you went quiet. I thought you had just calmed down and were continuing with your shower but another half an hour later and the shower was still going. I knocked on the door, and then I banged on the door, I called out to you but there was no response. So I got my stele and unlocked the door. I found you lying unconscious in the shower. You drowned Clary; I had to do CPR to get you back. You were practically dead, you were gone and I had no idea what I was going to do without you."

Clary's mind was racing at what she was being told, '_I drowned? What? He saved me? He said he had no idea what he was going to do without me… Wait, I was in the shower and now I'm… SHIT!'_

She wrapped her hands around her chest and blushed, "I'm naked."

He chuckled slightly, "You just drowned and almost died and you're worried that you're naked?"

"Yeah…" She answered awkwardly.

"Here." He wrapped a towel around her and brought her to her feet, "Come on, how about we get you dry and maybe some coffee?"

She smiled and snuggled into him, "You know me so well."

He kissed the top of her head, "I know."

**Did you like it? Please Review!**


	34. Chapter 34

**unedited**

**Here it is, Chapter 34. Hope you like it! **

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 34.**

Three months, three months had passed since she left Jace and was with Sebastian again. For the first month she had the nightmares every night but now it was only on a rare occasion that she had them. Her and Sebastian were happy it wasn't like the first time where they had sex over and over… and over again, the still had sex, like every night but they were closer than before, they trusted each other, he actually talked to her about his plans- their plans- and she consulted with him about it. She hadn't been to any of his meetings until now, now she was getting ready for her first meeting; Sebastian was introducing her to The Circle. Only few of The Circle members knew about him and Clary but now they would all know and if they didn't approve or went against him because of her he'd kill them, no questions asked, she was his queen and no one would get in the way of that.

"It's a bit tight." Clary tugged at the red dress.

Sebastian was lying on the bed as she tried on dress after dress after dress. He had bought her 20 different dresses for her to decide to wear to her first meeting. Most of the members would be wearing shadowhunter gear but considering that this was Clary's 'ascension' into the Circle it was a special event so she'd be wearing a red dress, the colour of celebration or ceremony. This was the 15th dress Clary had tried on. It was a long strapless dark red dress had a beaded bust and trimming. It was beautiful but it felt like a second skin on Clary.

Sebastian shrugged, "I don't mind it."

Clary was looking at herself in the mirror when she noticed where is gaze was.

She spun around, hands on hips, "You're only saying that because you like how tight it is on me!"

He grinned slyly, "Maybe…"

She rolled her eyes and went back into the wardrobe to put on another dress. When she came back out she was wearing another long strapless dress. It was a bold red and had a fitted bust, the bottom was a loose wavy red material that hung nicely, and she had put on a pair of black shiny wedges for shoes. She looked at him questionably as his eyes lit up.

She was beautiful in that dress, he sat up and his eyes roamed her body, he muttered out, "That's the one."

She smiled shyly and tucked her hair behind her ear, "You sure."

He nodded slowly as a smile crept on his face, his eyes still roaming her body. She smiled and looked at herself in the mirror.

He stood up and walked over to her, snaking his arms around her waist and softly kissing her neck, "You make a beautiful queen."

She smiled softly and leaned into his warm embrace. She looked at them together in the mirror, she had never felt so right in her life until now, in his arms. She turned around and snaked her arms around his neck, and brushed her lips against his.

As she drew back her eye lids were drooping, his eyes filled with tinges of concern, "What's wrong?"

She rubbed her eyes and yawned, "Nothing, I think I'm just tired that's all."

"How 'bout you have a nap and I'll wake you up before dinner." He suggested.

"Ok." She drew out of his arms and walked over to wardrobe and got changed out of her dress and slipped on one of Sebastian's shirts, she loved wearing his shirts. She came back out and crawled into bed. '_Why am I so tired lately?'_ She thought as she pulled the blanket up. As her head snuggled into the soft pillows slumber instantly took her.

…

"Clary, babe, it's time to wake up. Clary." Clary groaned and rolled over, burying her face in the pillow. Sebastian chuckled, "Come on, I tried to wake you last night for dinner but you stayed asleep it's now 10 in the morning and you need to eat, shower and get ready for the meeting. She peaked her head up and looked at him with tired, half closed eyes. She groaned as she sat up, rubbing at her bed head hair. He smiled at her, "Come on, how 'bout you go freshen up and come down stairs and I'll make you pancakes."

She smiled at him and answered childishly, "Yes Please!"

She hoped out of bed and walked into her bathroom as Sebastian went downstairs and started cooking breakfast.

Clary sighed as she looked at her exhausted face in the bathroom mirror. Half her hair was flat and frizzy on one side, her eyes had shadows under them and she looked drained. She splashed water on her face and brushed out her bed head hair so that it was smooth and sitting nicely on her shoulders once again. She brushed her teeth and splashed water on her face once again. She ran her fingers through her hair as she walked out of the bathroom and downstairs. She smiled and her mouth watered as a waft of pancakes and bacon hit her as she entered the kitchen. Sebastian was plating up the food as she walked in. He looked up and smiled at her, he dumped the pan in the sink and grabbed their plates of food, walked over to the table, placed the plates down and sat down as she sat down next to him.

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, "Thank you." She said cheerily before stuffing her face with pancakes and bacon.

As they washed up, Clary drying and Sebastian washing, Sebastian asked, "Are you ready for the meeting?"  
Nervousness filled her eyes, "umm…"

He turned and wrapped his arms around her, turning her face him he kissed her cheek, "You're gonna be fine."

She was still nervous; she rested her head on his chest, "What if I stuff up? What if they get angry that I joined? What if they go against us?"

He rested his chin on her head, "Don't worry about that, if they go against us I kill them where they stand." His voice was strong yet soothing. She let out a peaceful sigh and hugged him back.

He slightly leaned out of the embrace and looked down at her, "How about you go have a shower and get ready for the meeting, I'll finish up here and then I'll go get ready myself."

She nodded and smiled softly, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and pulled out of the embrace.

She walked into her bathroom and turned on the shower. She stripped her clothes and stepped into the warm, relaxing shower. She sighed in exhaustion, '_What is up with me lately?' _She thought as she started to wash her hair, _'Why am I so tired?'_

She finished her shower and started drying her hair. Once she was finished she curled her hair, pinning it up loosely and she did her make-up; bold dark red lips, black eye liner and a little silver eye shadow. She walked out with the towel wrapped around her. She went into her closet and got dressed when she walked back out she found a black jewellery box sitting on her bed. She walked over to it curiously. She picked it up and read the note that was stuck on the front.

**_'Every Queen needs her diamonds'_**

**_-Your King_**

Clary smiled as she read the note and slightly blushed. She placed the note on the bed and opened the box. A little gasp escaped her lips as she looked down in awe at the gorgeous necklace; it was a beautiful diamond necklace that was a flower formation across it. She gently picked it up, still looking at it in awe. She placed the now empty box on the bed and walked over to the mirror. She placed the necklace around her neck and clipped it at the back. It sat beautifully against her collarbone. She gently placed her hand on it as she looked at herself in the mirror; she stood there for a moment just looking at herself in awe; the gown, the shoes, the diamonds.

She snapped out of her gaze when she heard a knock at the door, "Clarissa, can I come in?"

Her ears hummed at the way he said her full name, "Come in."

She turned around to face him as he walked into the room. He was in Shadowhunter gear except he was wearing dark red sword strap across his chest and his hair was slicked back. Clary heated up a little bit; he always looked sexy in his gear.

His eyes roamed her body and twinkled with excitement and love, "You look gorgeous." A genuine smile lit across his face as their gaze met.

She blushed, "Thank you." He walked over to her and cupped her cheeks, leaning down and kissing her softly.

He gently brushed a loose strand of hair off her face and looked deep into her eyes, reassuring her that everything was going to be fine, "You ready?"

She took a deep breath and nodded slowly.

He linked arms with hers and led her down the hallway to two large double doors. This was the meeting room, Clary remembered it vaguely form the first three weeks she was here her and Sebastian had done it on the table. She smiled at the memory.

"What are you smiling about?" Sebastian asked, watching her curiously.

"I was just remembering the last time we were in this room together." She answered with a sly grin.

He chuckled under his breath and then unlinked their arms.

"You wait here for a second and then I'll come and get you to introduce you to The Circle." She nodded but he could still see nervousness in her eyes. He squeezed her hand reassuringly and cupped her cheek, resting his forehead against hers, "You can do this. We can do this."

He softly brushed his lips against hers lovingly. He moved out of the embrace and fixed his posture, his face went stern with authority and he walked into the meeting room, closing the door behind him.

Clary heard Sebastian's strong, commanding voice through the door although she couldn't make out what he was saying. She heard a few other voices and then a few murmurs that sounded like an uproar

"She's one of them!"

"She's a spy!"

"I have seen her, she's not a spy!" Clary wasn't sure who it was but was thankful for them defending her.

**_ 'BANG'_** "Silence!" it was Sebastian. "IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT SPEAK IT NOW! OR LET ME HAVE NO MERCY ON THOSE WHO GO AGAISNT!" Clary's heart rate quickened she knew what he was talking about, "SHE IS OUR QUEEN AND YOU WILL TREAT HER WITH AS MUCH AUTHORITY AND RESPECT AS YOU DO ME!"

There was silence and then Clary heard a few gasps and a **_'THUNK'_** Clary swallowed awkwardly, '_What's happening in there?'_

The door suddenly opened and Sebastian was standing there with his hand held out to her, a sly yet warm grin on his face and Clary noticed the splash of blood on his gear. Clary put on her most calm face and straightened her posture. She took his hand and let him lead her into the room. A giant long rectangular table sat in the middle of the room, members of The Circle sat at it. Clary's eyes skimmed across their faces, some were familiar from fights but most she didn't know. Her eyes landed on a familiar figure and her heart skipped a beat '_Robert Lightwood?' _Their gaze met for a second and she saw that his filled with panic. She cautiously pried her eyes away from his and looked at Sebastian, he was looking around the room with pride.

"Your queen, Clarissa Fairchild. Daughter of the great Shadowhunter who brought this all together, Valentine Morgenstern and my sister." He announced with pride.

He gestured for her to take a seat next to his at the head of the table. She sat down properly, just like her mum taught her when she goes out to dinner. Sebastian took a seat next to her and started the meeting.

The members of The Circle filed out of the apartment, one or two of them going through portals.

"Umm, Clarissa can I speak with you for a moment?" She turned around to see the familiar figure she was shocked to see earlier, Robert Lightwood; Alec and Isabelle's father.

"uhh… ok." Clary was still uncomfortable and confused with this. Robert gestured for her to enter the kitchen. She went in, Robert followed.

"Clarissa I'd like to make it clear that I'm on your side." He said in a shushed tone.

She eyed him curiously, "What side is that?"

"The Circle's of course, I didn't want you thinking I'm here to spy." He said. Clary had only seen Robert a few times but every time she did he held authority, power and made her kind of scared but now he was looking at her as if he was a bug and was begging Clary not to step on him.

She felt empowered for some reason, "Well wouldn't it be suspicious that you're telling me your not a spy."

His eyes filled with panic as if she was raising her foot above him, ready to squash him, "I'm not, trust me! Please the Circle has been my life! It's all I have!"

Clary was taken back by this little outburst, "But what about your family, Maryse, Isabelle, Alec?"

His shoulders slumped, "Maryse divorced me three months ago. She hasn't told the kids about it yet although I think they must already suspect something."

Clary felt a tinge of sympathy towards him but was still cautious at his being here, "But how can you stand with the man who killed your son, Max?" She hated that she was asking this but it had to be asked.  
He shrugged, "We all must make sacrifices. Valentine was a good man, though I must admit his methods were… in convenient, his idea and reasons were right and even though Sebastian did …kill Max his methods are better than Valentines. I've always believed in the Circle and forever will, that's how I can stand to be in the same room and fight side by side with the man who killed my son."

Clary stood in silence, processing what she just heard.

"I think I should probably get going." Robert said, breaking the silence.

"yes, of course." Clary said, smiling weakly.

Just before Robert left he turned around to Clary, "I can see why he chose you to be his queen… He loves you, you know? I can see it, the way he looked at you in the meeting earlier. It's the way Valentine used to look at Jocelyn, your mother. It's an eternal love, a love that can break a man and also create a man. Jocelyn broke Valentine when she left but I have the feeling your love will be the love that creates a man."

Clary smiled at him peacefully, her eyes saying'I hope so', as he exited the apartment.

She turned around to see Sebastian shaking the hand of one of the other members and wishing him well as he exited through a portal.

Sebastian walked over to her with a grin on his face. He snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her into a soft, exciting kiss. As he pulled back she hummed in pleasure, "mmm, what was that for?"

He started trailing kisses across her neck, "You. Were. Amazing. Today. You make the. Perfect. Queen." He lifted his head, smiling softly at her, "and may I say you looked beautiful as well."

She kissed him and then pulled back with a wicked grin on her face, "Maybe we should celebrate that everything went well."

"Everything except the whole Joseph going against me and me having to kill him and what not."

He said as he looked down at the blood-stain on his gear.

"Aside from that everything went well and I really want to_ celebrate." _

He grinned slyly and kissed her passionately. Clary wrapped her arms around his neck, entangling her fingers in his hair, slightly tugging on it creating a groan to escape his lips. She grinned against their kiss. She broke away from the kiss, grabbing his hand and racing up the stairs, dragging Sebastian behind her. He went to pull her into the bedroom but kept getting dragged down the hallway.

"But-"

"I want to do it in here." She pushed the meeting room door open and grinned at him.

He quickly pulled her into another passionate kiss, their tongues dancing like fire in the wind. Clary looped her fingers into the waist band of his pants, Sebastian reaching around and slowly taking out all the pins in her hair, letting them fall to the ground. Clary pulled him closer to her; she fiddled with the clip of sword strap. Sebastian broke away from the kiss and swiftly took his gear off. Clary watched him with hungry eyes as he stripped his clothes. She loved that one of the basic Shadowhunter training is to be able to quickly and swiftly remove fighting gear. Everything except his briefs were now on the ground to the side. He gripped her hips, pulling her into another heated kiss. His hands slid around her back, swiftly unzipping the dress, running his hands down her sides; pushing the dress to the floor. Clary's hands wrapped around his neck, pressing their bodies together. She started to slowly start to walk backwards, bringing Sebastian with her. As she reached the edge of the table she moved up so she was sitting on it. Her legs slightly hooked around the backs of his legs. Sebastian started trailing hot kisses down her body as she lay back on the table. He kissed the edge of her panties before swiftly removing them and chucking them to the other side of the room. Sebastian ran his hands up her stomach, gripping her hips as he ran his tongue across her heat. Clary bit her bottom lip at the teasing. Sebastian ran his tongue across her heat again this time a little moan escaped her lips, the reaction he wanted. Sebastian slid his tongue in her folds and found her hidden bud. She was already wet for him when he swirled his tongue around her bud. Clary lifted her hips up wanting more. Sebastian knew what she wanted and quickly thrusted his finger into her wetness. Clary let out a little gasp and then started moaning louder as he thrusted inside her, his tongue still teasing her aroused bud. He inserted another finger inside her warmth; two finger, three fingers and now four. Clary's head was tilted back and she started screaming as his started hitting her spot and teasing it to his will. He ran his tongue up her hot, sweat laced body. Still thrusting his magical fingers inside her as he captured her screaming mouth as his. He pushed his tongue into her mouth causing her to scream even louder against their kiss.

He grinned and started sucking on her pulse, "Tell me what you want Clary."

She was able to get out one singular word in between the screams of pleasure, "YOU!"

He grinned against her neck, he could feel how much she wanted him, "What do you want from me?"

"OH GOD! I WANT YOU! I NEED YOU! NOW!"  
Sebastian grinned and with one hand pulled his briefs off and discarded them to the side as he asked once more, "What do you want from me?"

"I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME!"

With that Sebastian swiftly and quickly pulled his dripping fingers out of her wetness and ploughed into her. He gripped her thighs and thrusted into her faster and harder each time. She screamed as he hit her spot over and over again. He moaned on the brink of screaming her name at the sensation of her warmth being wrapped around him.

He felt the sensation rise inside him but held it back just in time for her to scream his name, arch her back and release her hot juices onto him; his own bursting into her core immediately after. Sebastian rested his head in the nook of her neck, his panting meeting the rhythm of her racing heart. He slowly pulled out of her sensitive and stood up, helping Clary up with him. He gently gripped her waist and lifted her off the table, placing her down on her shaky legs. She leaned back against the table and quickly took her shoes off, it was already going to be hard to walk after that but with heels, Screw That!

She gave him a quick kiss and picked up her dress and underwear. As they walked out into the hallway Clary suddenly felt lightheaded and slightly stumbled.

Sebastian gripped her waist to steady her, "Clary are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine I just suddenly got lightheaded for some reason." She shook it off and smiled at him, "Come on I need a shower."

Sebastian grinned slyly, "Can I join?"

Clary leaned up and whispered seductively in his ear, "Only if you can…" She pushed him and started running down the hall to her bedroom, "CATCH ME!"

For a moment he watched her run down the hall, full of giggles, her red locks bouncing on her shoulders, he loved the way he slim, beautiful, petite figure moved as she ran down the hall. He started running after her, chuckling under his breath his eyes full of, desire, lust and _love_.

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	35. Chapter 35

**Unedited**

**Here it is, Chapter 35. Hope you like it! **

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 35.**

"So we meet back her next week to finalise the plans for the attack." Sebastian finished off the meeting and every one started to file out and make their way downstairs. Clary was talking to Rebecka Pangborn, a distant relative to Emil and Anson Pangborn. Rebecka was 14 weeks pregnant and just announced it at the previous meeting. Her partner, Jacob Pangborn, was concerned that with the attack coming up that it would put Rebecka and the child in danger so Sebastian decoded that she would stay out of it and stay back and be ready at the infirmary to attend to the injured. Jacob and Becka are a young couple and recently married. Clary now knew that it was Jacob who interrupted them at The Bone Chandelier but that was in the past now.

"I feel so ashamed that Jacob stood up like that and said that I wouldn't be capable to fight in the attack." Becka said.

"I don't think he thinks that you cant fight it's just that he doesn't want to endanger his unborn baby, may I remind you will be the only way to carry on the lineage of Pangborns, and he is also worried about you. The woman he loves." Clary told her reassuringly.

Becka looked smiled warmly, "I guess your right, thanks Clary. So you ever want to have your own one day, continue the Morgenstern lineage."

Clary felt her stomach twist with the thought but tried to play it off, "Yeah, one day."

Jacob came up and intertwined his fingers in Becka's, "You ready babe?"

"Yep. See ya Clary."

"Bye Becka."

The Pangborns were one of the few who took portal out of the Apartment. As the portal opened all the Shadowhunter's in the room became alert as blurs of brown, black and blond fur dashed through the portal and into the room. Wolves. The next few things were all a blur, the Circle members had formed a circle and were being circled by the wolves, seraph blades and weapons ready. Deep growls echoed the room. On one side of Clary was Becka she had pain written on her face but right now wasn't the time to ask, Sebastian at her other side.

His head flicked around for a second, "Clary, you need to get out of here and take Becka with you."

Clary's anger boiled in her, "What?! No! I'm staying to fight."

"Clary get out of here and take Becka with you!" he ordered.

The Morgenstern stubbornness was kicking in, "No!"

"Clary it's not that I don't want you to fight but I need you to get Becka out of here, Clary look at her!"

Clary spun her head around, Becka's face was cringed in pain, one hand on her stomach and the other holding a seraph blade but it looked like she was about to drop to her knees.

"Clary I need you to grab her and run up the stairs as fast as you can when I say."

Clary nodded obediently and hooked her arm around Becka's waist, letting Becka rest all her weight on Clary. Clary watched the steps and waited for Sebastian's order.

"NOW!"

Clary ran over to the stairs, practically dragging the collapsing girl with her. Clary dragged Becka up the stairs as she walked down the hallway and into the infirmary the noise of the fight slowly drifting away. Clary pushed the Infirmary door open with her foot. Clary reluctantly placed Becka down on the bed.

Becka was clutching her stomach; Clary could tell that she was trying not to cry. "Hey it's ok to cry."

Becka gasped out in pain, "I'm a Shadowhunter though."

"Yeah but you're also a girl… it's ok, let it go."

With that Becka let the tears fall and the whimpers out. Clary went a and received the basics, towels, blankets, bowls of cold and hot water, bandages and other first aid.

Clary hesitated for a second, "Ok, Becka, I need to check if there is any… blood."

Becka nodded, tears still falling, whimpers escaping her lips. Clary started unbuttoning the girls pants very carefully and then pulled them down, exposing her underwear. Clary let out a thankful sigh as there was no blood but that didn't mean everything was ok or would be for long. Although Clary couldn't do much she tried to make Becka as comfortable as possible. The infirmary came equip with basic clothing. Clary changed Becka into a large loose shirt and pulling the blanket up over her.

Becka lay whimpering in pain but Clary couldn't do much more, she kept hearing glimpses of the fight every now and then and flinched as she heard screams. Clary got as much as she could get ready for incoming injuries, she was sure that some would be injured. Clary sat anxiously in the bed across from the whimpering girl, twiddling her thumbs, waiting for the fight to end. Clary suddenly heard howls and the sound of the wolves running. Silence. Clary stood up, staring at the door in expectation. Suddenly the door burst open and Shadowhunters started rushing in, few tending to others who were hobbling over to the beds, clutching at where they were injured. Clary knew that this was only few Shadowhunters compared to the overall amount that fought. Suddenly four tall Shadowhunters came in carrying a bleeding, unconscious male. They placed the unconscious body down on the nearest bed, which happened to be the one next Rebecka's. As the four Shadowhunters moved away from the body she realised one of them was Jacob.

He turned to Clary with panic in his eyes, "Bec?"

Clary pointed to the bed. He darted to her side, "Becka?"

She had stopped whimpering but Clary still saw pain in her eyes, her voice was soft, "Jacob."

"How are you? Is the baby ok?"

Clary answered for her, "There seems to be no bleeding and I can't tell if any thing else is wrong until we get some professional assistance."  
Jacob didn't reply instead he just kept looking into Rebecka's pain filled eyes, holding her hand, just being there for her. He didn't unlock his gaze as he informed Clary, "Go you have your own issues to deal with."

Clary was confused for a second and then turned back to the unconscious Shadowhunter, two Shadowhunters at his side tending to his wounds and drawing iratze on him. Clary's heart shattered and stomach twisted as her eyes fell on the face of the unconscious boy. Sebastian. Clary fell to her knees at the side of his bed, tears threatened but she pushed them away. She refused to cry in front of the members of The Circle, it showed weakness and she was **not** to show weakness in front of them. She reached over and took his hand in his. Everything seemed like a blur after that. Shadowhunters came and went from the infirmary, some of the injured stayed in their beds and every hour someone would check on Sebastian's vitals. A warlock at one point came and checked on Becka, everything was ok her body was just in shock and fear.

Clary stayed where she was, at Sebastian's side, refusing to move.

"Clary… Clary, we need you." Becka was at Clary's side trying to get her to come to the emergency meeting the Circle was having, "Clary, please, your our queen, we need you."

Clary didn't break her gaze but did say the only words she had said in the last 8 hours, "You don't need me."

Becka let out an impatient sigh, "Yes we do! Clary Sebastian chose you to be our queen for times like these. Clary, please…"

Clary thought for a moment and then reached up and brushed the stray hairs off Sebastian's peaceful face. She took a deep breath and slowly stood up. Her face full of sadness with tinges of calm. She slowly let his motionless hand slip out of hers.

She turned to Rebecka, "Let's go, I believe I have an emergency meeting to hold."

The corner of Rebecka's lips turned up as Clary walked out of the Infirmary. She held authority and power in her posture, calmness on her face.

This was the queen Sebastian chose.

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	36. Chapter 36

**unedited**

**here it is, chapter 36. Hope you like it! **

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 36.**

Clary took a deep breath and swung open the doors of the meeting room. The noise filled room went silent and all eyes landed on Clary. Some were filled with worry, panic, anger and some had tinges of hate in them but Clary wasn't surprised. She held authority and power in her expression.

Her voice came out hard and strong "Everyone take a seat." No one moved from where they were, Clary's eyes filled with impatience, "Sit down!"

Everyone jolted to their seats except for Clary she moved to stand at the head of the table.

Her gaze looked over the table of distraught faces and then started, "To some this may be a step back and in some ways it is… as we know Sebastian has been injured and is lying unconscious in an infirmary bed but we must move forward. The attack will go as planned and we will confirm the details next week as we planned."

"If I may speak." Asked one of the members, Clary had forgotten his name.

Clary nodded, agreeing to his request, "What are we to do with the captive?"  
Clary looked at him confused, "What captive?"

"One of the wolfs that were injured and left behind was locked up in the cell. We thought it might be a source of information so we haven't killed it yet."

Clary thought for a moment about what to do and then, "Take me to the captive."

"She's in here." Five of the members took Clary down to the basement. Jacob opened the door to the cell. The cell was dimly lit, cold and damp. There were old blood stains on the wall and in the corner sat a girl with brown hair tumbling across her face, dried blood crisped the edges. Her knees were as close to her body as possible, her hands bound above her head by chains and feet bound by chains as well; silver most likely- her wrists and ankles were scorched, blistered and bleeding. She wore a brown singlet, blood splashed across it, she was wearing brown shorts that were also stained with blood. Clary couldn't determine if all the blood was hers or not. The girl slowly lifted her head, exposing her big brown eyes and bruised face; dried blood ran from her nose to her collarbone.

Her voice was horse with pain, "Clary?"

Clary's heart raced as she realised whom the girl was. Maia. One of the wolves from Luke's pack, '_Oh god! Luke!'_ Clary swallowed awkwardly and tried to keep her voice as steady as possible, "Leave us."

"Clary?" Becka questioned.

"I need to speak to the wolf alone… I will call if I need you." With that they left, leaving Clary and Maia alone in the cell.

"Clary please… help me." Maia begged, pulling at the chains around her wrists and ankles.

Clary didn't move she just looked at the poor werewolf with pain filled eyes.

Clary knelt down next to Maia, "Why are you here?"

Maia was so confused at how calm she was being, "Clary what do you mean why am I here? Luke's pack came to rescue you but obviously we failed. Please Clary unchain me and we can escape together."

Clary looked down in shame, "I-I-I can't."

"What?! Why not?"

Everything went quiet, Clary's heart raced as she watched realisation spread across Maia's face, "No… No! Clary how could you!?"

Clary stood up and walked across to the wall opposite Maia and sat down, "I'm surprised you didn't already know." Clary's voice came out calm, to calm for her own liking.

"Of course we didn't know! How would we know that you're _evil,_ that you betrayed us?!" Maia's voice full of anger, pain and hate.

Clary was still calm as ever, "I thought Jace," '_Jace…_' it's been the first time she'd said his name in months, she hadn't even thought about him until now, "I thought Jace or Magnus would have told you."

"The only thing Jace has said since you left was 'She's gone.' He literally hasn't said any other word and Magnus went over seas the night you disappeared. He hasn't had any contact with the Clave or us since that night except for a letter that he left when he went away."

Clary's walls started to come down, her heart slightly shattering and eyes watering.

"Clary please, let me go and I wont tell anyone. I promise. Please if you still care about us please, let me go."

Clary thought for a moment and before she could answer Becka bolted into the cell. Clary jolted to her feet, "What is it? What's wrong?"

Becka shook her head, "Nothing's wrong, it's Sebastian, he's awake!"

Clary didn't think, she just started running out of the basement and up the stairs to the infirmary, Becka trailing behind her along with Maia's screams of pleading disappearing behind her, "CLARY! PLEASE! CLARY!"  
Clary darted into the Infirmary. Her heart skipped a beat as she stopped at the entrance and saw he Sebastian sitting up in his bed arguing with Jacob, "I'm fine, let me out of here Jacob."

"No, you're not fine. You were hit over the head and you were unconscious for nearly a day. I'm not letting you go until we're certain that you're better."

Clary slightly smiled, the two boys bickering like that reminded her of when Jace would argue with Alec when he was injured. Ever since she was introduced to the Circle she could see the 'brotherly' bond between them but didn't say anything about it.

"You two sound like an old married couple. Did you know that?" Clary said as she made them aware of her presence.

Sebastian smiled and went to stand up but Jacob put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Give it a rest would you?" Sebastian complained.

Jacob hesitated for a second and then let go of him. Before Sebastian could even take one step Clary had flung her arms around him, pulling him into a desperate hug. Sebastian wrapped his arms around his girl and held her close, inhaling her familiar scent. Clary slowly pulled out of the embrace, looking up at him with watery eyes. Suddenly she raised her hand and _SMACK!_

Sebastian rubbed his red cheek, "You do realise I have a head injury don't you?"

"Don't ever scare me like that again!" Clary ordered her voice slightly shaky.

Sebastian smiled and kissed her softly, "Never again." He whispered before kissing her lovingly once more.

Clary wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. They broke apart as Jacob coughed awkwardly. Clary slightly blushed but didn't move away from Sebastian.

Jacob pointed out, "If it was just me in here I would leave to give you guys privacy but there are other injured Shadowhunters in here and I'm sure they wouldn't like to see… that."

"You may have a point there." Sebastian joked as he sat back down on the bed; before Clary knew it Sebastian had gripped her waist and pulled her down so she was sitting on his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he wrapped his around her waist, locking his hands together, kissing her cheek in the process.

"Ok, I need someone to fill in the blanks while I was unconscious." He looked at Clary and saw that she was a bit uneasy and then turned to Jacob who filled in the details for her.

He told Sebastian about who was injured, what went down at the emergency meeting. He grinned as Jacob told him about how strong Clary was with leading them, even if it was for less than an hour. He then told him about the captive, Maia. "You'll have to ask Clary about those details she was the one who questioned _it_."

Clary felt a little uneasy and hesitated for a moment, "It's Maia, one of the wolves form Luke's pack… she told me Luke lead the attack… they were- they were trying to." Clary dropped her hands form around his neck, looked down and fiddled with her hands, "They were here to rescue me."

"What?" It wasn't Sebastian who asked it was Jacob. Sebastian was just looking at Clary with eyes full of thought.

"Aparently J…" She had to force herself to say his name, she had no idea how Sebastian would react but he had to know, "Jace hasn't said anything about it and Magnus ran away the night I left them and they haven't heard any word form him."

She watched Sebastian cautiously, his eyes went hard and he locked his gaze on Clary's, "Did you tell her that they were wrong, that you didn't need to be rescued? That you're on _my_ side?"

'_my side? He's never called it his side it's always been our side.'_ She was cut out of her worried thoughts by his strong tone, "Clary, did you tell her."

Fear flicked in Clary, "I-I was going to but she figured it out before I could actually tell her. So in a way I did."

"But you hesitated telling her?!" his voice was growing with anger. Clary flinched, Sebastian unlocked his hands and slightly pushed her so that she was standing up instead of sitting on his lap, "You hesitated! Do you still care about them?!" Clary took a step back in fear. "Answer me! Do you still CARE!?"

Clary felt anger bubble inside her, "Of course I still care! They're my family! My friends! I loved them and always will! But I'm with you! I left them for you! I LEFT EVERYTHING FOR YOU! I love you but I love them! I'll never stop loving them!" Clary let out a gasp of pain as the back of Sebastian's hand slapped across Clary's cheek. She clutched her stinging cheek and her eyes started to water. She looked at Sebastian with pain, anger and horror filled eyes. She watched his angered face slowly start to fade into worry and pain at his realisation at what he just did.

Before he could stop her Clary darted out of the Infirmary and down the hall to her room. Slamming the door behind her and locking it along with drawing a locking rune on it for good measure. Her stomach churned and tears fell as she re-played the events through her mind. She felt like she was going to be sick, no, she **was** going to be sick. She ran into her bathroom and let it go.

She wiped her mouth and lay down on the cold tile floor on her side. Tears streaming down her now slightly bruised cheek creating a little pool of salty water next to her as she listened to Sebastian banging on the bedroom door, yelling out for her to let him in and that he was sorry. She could hear the desperation and shakiness in his voice, maybe he was sorry and didn't mean it but that meant nothing. He hit her, he would have never hurt her not initially is what she thought but she guessed maybe she was wrong. She was wrong when she thought Jace would never hurt her but yet he almost did and then she thought Sebastian wouldn't hurt her yet he did.

She asked herself that burning question she still hadn't gotten an answer to, _'What's wrong with me?'_

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	37. Chapter 37

**unedited**

**Ahh! i'm kind of freaking out, not that many chapters to go until the end. So, here it is, Chapter 37. **

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 37.**

Clary woke to the sound of a crash. She jolted into a sitting position; she was in a peaceful daze until every thing came rushing back to her as she rubbed her face and the stinging set in.

"Clary!"

She snapped out of her painful memories to see Sebastian standing in the doorway of the bathroom. He looked distraught as if he hadn't slept in days when in reality it had probably only been a few hours.

He dropped to his knees, his eyes full of pain as he stared at her bruised face, "I'm so sorry, Clary."

She brought her knees to her chest; turning her gaze away from his letting an eyrie silence hang in the air until Sebastian broke it, "Please… please forgive me."

Clary's throat burned as she felt tears rise up in the back of her throat, she bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to block him out. She opened her eyes as she unfortunately found out that squeezing them shut gave her a throbbing headache. Great, now her head is throbbing, her heart is broken, her face is bruised and stinging and Sebastian, the man she loved, the man who hit her sat merely feet away, grovelling for forgiveness!

"Clary please, say something."

She slowly turned her distraught gaze back to his, "What do you want me to say?" She said in a choked up tone.

His shoulders slumped even more, "I don't know, that you forgive me, that you still love me-"

"Of course I still love you! I'm just trying to deal with the fact that you obviously don't love me."

His eyes filled with even more sadness, "But I do love you Clary-"

"Do you? Because if you did you wouldn't have done this!" She tilted her head to the side so he could see the full extent of his damage. She heard him suck in a sharp breath at the sight of his destruction.

"I know I shouldn't of but the demon took over-"  
"Stop doing that!" Clary snapped.

Tinges of confusion twinkled in his sad eyes, "Doing what?"  
"Speaking as if the demon blood is like a second part of you, like it's some annoying little brother that keeps ruining everything! Because it is part of you! I love you Sebastian! Not just the human part, not just the Shadowhunter part, not just the _brother_ part but also the Demon part! Because when you love someone you love everything about them not just certain bits!" She turned her head once again, unlocking their gaze, resting her head on the wall behind her. Her red locks hanging in her face, hiding her pain, she could feel that the tears were about to brake through the walls and start streaming down her face pretty soon so she choked out, "Please just leave." Her voice soft and full of pain.

"Wha-"

Her voice now harsh yet still full of pain as she cut him off, "Get out!"

He hesitated for a second and then stood up and painfully slowly exited her room.

She waited until she was sure he was gone for her to finally let the walls fall and tears to stream down her stinging face once more.

After hours of sobbing she finally stopped and went for a shower. Shrugging of her gear that she still had on from the meeting and stepping into the calming warm water. But as the water hit her memories, beautiful loving sensationally happy memories came flooding back of her and Sebastian in the shower together; the first time the had shower sex and how he would always tell her she was amazing afterwards, the time he had just held her lovingly while the water ran over their bodies and softly kissed her neck, how he had asked her to be his queen and from that memory followed the memory of her going to the dress fitting, finding out she was pregnant and then the worse memory of all, losing her baby and abandoning all her loved ones immediately after. Her shoulders shook as she started crying once again. She quickly turned the shower off and got out. She let the water just drip from her naked body as she stared at herself in the mirror; emotionless. She looked at her petite figure, the small curve of her hips that had gotten the slightest bit bigger but that was normal for a teenage girl, no one would ever believe she had been 4 months pregnant not that long ago; no stretch marks, no visible signs of pregnancy, no left over weight but then again that all disappeared as Magnus used his magic to practically completely reverse the pregnancy. Her eyes looked over her face, aside form the bruising she could now see the toll of the events of the past year had put on her just by looking into her eyes; the little shadows underneath her eyes, how her mouth instinctively set to a slight frown when she wasn't really paying attention unlike how it used to kind of be curved the slightest bit upward and her face in general just looked like it she had been through emotional distress. She let her head drop down in shame and she turned, picking up the warm fluffy robe, wrapping it around her body and tying it at the front. She walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom to find her door had been kicked off it's hinges and was now lying in her door way.

'_That must have been the loud bang that woke me up. Sebastian had kicked the door in.'_

She sighed which immediately made her aware at how exhausted she was. She flopped down on the bed and let peaceful sleep consume her.

_"Clary? Clary can you hear me?"_

_Clary opened her eyes to find that she was standing in her old room at Luke's house._

_She heard the voice again, "Clary?"_

_'Wait…' "Magnus?"_

_"Oh thank the heavens! Finally! Do you know how long I've been trying to reach you?" _

_"Magnus what is this? Am I dreaming?"_

_"Kind of, you're in a dream state but I'm communicating with you telepathically."_

_"Hold on, what?"_

_"The night you disappeared with Sebastian I packed up and ran. I knew they'd want me to try and find you and I did but I didn't want to do it under their rules so I ran and have been working on trying to reach you this whole time. Are you ok?"_

_She thought for a moment, there was no point lying anymore, "Yes." _

_"I thought so."_

_"What?" _

_"I needed to know if you went willingly or not. I had my suspicions at how he was looking at you." _

_"So you knew and you're not judging me?" _

_"At first I did but love is love. Is it love?"_

_She smiled weakly, "Yes but how can you be fine with this?"  
"I've been around a long time-"_

_"Oh God! Not this again, do you know how many times I've heard you start one of your speeches about love with 'I've been around a long time'?!" _

_"Well, it's true! And what I was going to say is that I've been around a long time and I've seen much worse than two siblings that, may I point out, one, didn't grow up together and two, didn't even now the other one existed, fall in love. But may I say there could have been better way to tell Jace."_

_"Yeah, I get that now… I miss you Magnus."_

_"I miss you two Clary. One day we may meet again at a café or on the street." _

_"Maybe. Thanks Magnus, for everything."_

_"My pleasure and I hope your happy."_

_"I am."_

_"Good bye Clarissa Fray, you're one of the closest things I've ever had to family. I watched you grow up into a beautiful young, independent woman. Thankyou."_

_"Goody bye Magnus."_

Clary opened her eyes to find herself back in her bedroom; lying on her big soft bed in the, now slightly damp, fluffy white robe. She quickly noticed that Sebastian was fast asleep next to her, _'He must have snuck in here and fell asleep while I was asleep.'_

She looked at him for a moment, her eyes looking over every crevasse in his perfect face, _'I love him.'_ She slightly moved over, carefully nuzzling into him. He instinctively wrapped his arm around her, slightly pushing their bodies together. As her head rested in the nook of his neck she inhaled is familiar scent and slightly hummed at the comforting feeling. She felt her eyes start to droop once again and slumber take her into a blissful, dreamless sleep.

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	38. Chapter 38

**unedited**

**Here it is, second last chapter, Chapter 38. Hope you like it! **

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 38**

She woke up to the soft almost silent voice of Sebastian, "I'm sorry…"  
She opened her eyes and lifted her head off his chest, he was still asleep but he was lightly tossing his head to the side, mumbling in his sleep, "I'm sorry…Please… I'm not a monster… Please… I love you… I'm sorry… please."

She slightly shook him, "Sebastian, wake up, you're dreaming."

His eyes jolted open and abruptly sat up. His forehead was laced with sweat, his breath short and sharp as his eyes darted around the room. Clary sat up, watching him with concerned eyes.

She gently placed a hand on his shoulder but he flinched away, resting his scared eyes on her concerned ones.

His breath was still coming out in short painful gasps, "Shh, calm down. Sebastian everything is alright. It was just a nightmare."

She was now cupping his cheeks in an attempt to calm him.

He shook his head in reply, "No. No. It wasn't a dream it was a memory." His breaths were still short and sharp but she could sense that he was starting to slowly calm down.

He dipped his head, leaning forward, resting it in the nook of her neck. She instinctively wrapped her arms around him, gently running her fingers through his hair. His shoulders slightly shaking as he wept for the second time in his life.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He kept repeating even though Clary kept saying it was fine, that she was fine, he kept saying it over and over again.

After what felt like a millennium of his sobs and her comforts, everything went quiet. She gently lifted his chin so that their gaze met. His eyes were red and full of sorrow, his cheeks stained from his tears. They stared into each others' eyes for a moment before she gently brushed her lips against his, "I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too." He mumbled back as the kiss deepened. He slowly rolled over, Clary laying underneath him. Her hands running under his shirt, feeling his hard, smooth muscular stomach and in one swift motion, only breaking from their kiss for a moment, he pulled his shirt off and discarded it to the ground. The tiniest moan escaped her and Sebastian took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth, entangling with hers causing another tiny moan to escape her. She ran her hands up his stomach, around his back, feeling his strong shoulders; she pulled him down even more, wanting it all. She felt her robe fall open and his hands start to feel her up her sides, momentarily lingering on her soft breasts until he cupped her cheek. Clary involuntarily flinched and winced as his hand pressed against her bruised cheek. He broke from their kiss and sat up abruptly, turning away from her. She sat up and moved over to him, wrapping her arms around him form the back and started trailing kisses across his shoulder, "Hey, I'm fine. Come on." She went to push him down on the bed but he yanked out of her grip and stood up. Clary sat there watching with hurt-filled eyes as he picked up his shirt and shrugged it on. "Sebastian?"

"I can't. I just can't, not after…" He looked down in shame, his back still to her.

Clary self-consciously pulled the robed back across her exposed body, "I'm… I'm gonna go get dressed." She said finally, standing up and rushing over to the wardrobe, not wanting to talk or look at him any longer. She slammed the door behind her and stormed over to her draws, yanking them open and pulling out an 'All Time Low' T-shirt and a pair of denim shorts. She yanked on underwear and a bra and then the t-shirt and shorts. She stormed back out of the closet to find that Sebastian had left. She sighed in frustration as she made her way over to the bathroom. As she looked herself in the mirror she cringed as she saw the purple bruise across her cheek. She started poking around through her make-up and pulled out her foundation and concealer. Giving it her best attempts to hide it as much as she could but it wasn't much considering she winced every time she touched it. She sighed as she packed away her make-up and headed out of her room and downstairs. She walked into the kitchen. She started making herself a ham and cranberry sandwich. As she sat down and took her first bite Jacob walked in.

"Hey Clary." He said as he pulled a coke out of the fridge and sat down across from her.

"Hey." She said before taking her second bite.

He looked at her with concerned eyes, "How are you?"

She sighed, "I'm fine."

He opened his drink and took a sip, "You know he's broken about it, don't you?"

She kept looking down at her sandwich, "I know, I just don't know what to do to make it better."  
"There's nothing you can do about it, just let him deal with it how he deals with it. It's the only way, trust me, I know how he is."

She looked up and the corner of her mouth turned up, "How did you two meet? I mean it looks like you two have known each other for a while."

He chuckled slightly, "Yeah. I met Sebastian, Jonathon back then, when he was 13, I was 17. My parents were in The Circle and introduced it to me when I was 16 a year later Valentine, and I'm not joking, assigned me to baby sit him."

She laughed slightly, "What? No way!"

"It's sad but true. Valentine was so sure that Jonathon was evil and was all demon but the boy I met was just that, a boy, a frightened boy. He was terrified of Valentine so I offered to train with him instead. We became closer after every session and I learnt about what Valentine did to him, the beatings and abuse I hated seeing him like that. Anyway, despite the age difference we were best friends, brothers even so two months before my 18th birthday, he was 14 at this point, I asked him to be my parabatai. After about a week of thinking he finally said yes, he told his father about it one night when my parents and I had dinner with them. His father said no without hesitation and his 'reason' was that because of the demon blood in Jonathon and that it wouldn't work. BULLSHIT! It was because he couldn't stand the possibility of Jonathon actually being happy. I found out later that he beat him that night and worse than usual. After I turned 18 Jonathon started to drift away and tried to make his father proud a lot more than usual, but we still trained together but he wasn't… himself anymore and then he got the job as Sebastian Verlac and he was gone for good or so I thought. Then Valentine died and Lilith brought him back and then he brought Jace here, and at ne point I thought he was getting back to himself but turns out that was just Lilith's rune and it was the part of Jace that made me think he was getting back to normal and then…" The corner of his mouth twitched up, "You came along, we started training again and he started getting back to normal and then after he found out you were pregnant and you disappeared he was obsessed with finding you. But I was happy that he was… _feeling _again and now that your hear he's been himself, as he'd put it he's been human and you have to understand that for along time he was that _demon_ and it's hard to let go of something you've known for a long time. I think it just snuck up when he hit you but he realised what he did straight away and now he's torn apart and he'll never forgive himself… I'm afraid that he might… that he might slip back into that darkness again."

Clary's heart was racing at what she was hearing, the thought of Valentine hurting Sebastian made her blood boil and the thought of him being happy made joy light up in her and the thought that he might slip back into the darkness made her heart shatter.

She sat there for a moment in silence, "I won't let that happen."

Jacob smiled, "I hoped you say that."

"Hey babe, we've got to get going. I have my doctors appointment." Becka said as she came up behind Jacob, snaking her arms around him and kissing him lightly on the cheek.

"K. See ya Clary." He said as he stood up and linked hands with Becka

"See ya Clary." She said as the started to draw the portal rune.

"Bye Becka, bye Jacob." Clary waved to them as they stepped into the portal.

Clary looked down at her half eaten sandwich and sighed as she realised that she wasn't hungry anymore. She chucked the sandwich in the bin and the plate in the sink and then headed over to the couch to watch some TV. She walked over to the DVD rack that she got Sebastian to buy along with the DVDs that filled it. After a minute of contemplation she decided on watching Gossip Girl Season 4 – yes, it's not her usual sort of show but she just fell in love with Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass. What?! It's her guilty pleasure – She put in the first disk and spread herself across the couch, her head under a pillow and on leg hanging off the edge. She pressed play on the remote and it started up.

As the first disk finished, Clary groaned as she pulled herself out of her comfy position and changed the disk. Just before she pressed play she heard a blood curdling scream echo through the Apartment. She bolted into a sitting position and looked around panicking. Another scream went thought the Apartment once again. Clary was now standing and she knew it was a girl that was screaming. Without thought Clary's feet were taking her down to the basement. She burst into the cell to find Maia cowering on the floor her hand covering steaming face. She was whimpering in agony. Three of the Circle members were standing around her laughing.

"STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Clary demanded as she went to Maia's side; trying to move her hands away from her face but she just flinched away.

The three men fell quiet, Clary looked up and scolded them, "Leave us!" They stood there for a moment before, "NOW!"

Two of them went to leave but stopped as the third one, a bulky tall man said in a stern partly amused tone, "No."

Clary looked up and scolded him, "No?!"

He grinned smugly, "No. I'm not leaving."

Clary raised to her feet, her back straight and her stare soul shattering, "No?! Do you know who your talking to?! I'm your queen!" Yes she hated talking like this but Sebastian had made it clear that it was necessary.

His smug was wiped form his face, his large arms crossed over his chest as he took a step forward, he stared down at her with a the eyes of hell, "Queen? You're no queen! You may be screwing our leader but you are not our queen! Sure you aren't a traitor but you are not our Queen!" He took another step forward, she could feel his breath on her face, "but you know what really makes me sick, Angel Girl? The fact that he fell for such a stupid, bland piece of ass. I mean look at you, you're tiny! There is no way you could be _that_ good in bed." She heard the two guys behind her chuckle, "and the fact that you're his sister makes it even worse!" He spat the word sister as if it was acid in his mouth.

At first Clary was terrified but suddenly she felt a hot rage boil inside her, everything went red, "Don't you dare talk to me like that!" She shoved him as hard as she could, only causing him to take a few steps back but he was, at least, slightly shocked at her action. "I am your Queen! Whether you like it or not! I AM A MORGENSTERN! AND THIS IS WHAT MORGENSTERNS DO! WE ARE POWER! YOU ARE A WORTHLESS BUG COMPAIRED TO ME!" She hadn't realised until now that she had hi pressed up against a wall with a sword at his the throat, she swallowed but kept her voice stern, "Don't you dare talk to me like that ever again! Do you understand?" He stayed quiet, "I said, DO YOU UNDERSTAND!"

"Y-Y-Yes… my queen."

She grinned smugly and moved the sword away form his throat. He stammered and darted out of the cell and up the stairs. Clary looked down at the sword at her hands for a moment before letting it fall to the floor and turning around to find Maia still curled up on the floor, whimpering and Sebastian standing in the doorway with a smug grin on his face. She looked at him for a moment and then kneeled down next to Maia, once again attempting to get her hands away from her burned face so that Clary could inspect the damage.

Sebastian kneeled down next to Clary, he placed a hand on her shoulder she shrugged him off and continued trying to get Maia to let Clary help her, "Maia, please…"

"Clary… You know what's going to happen don't you?" Sebastian said, as he gently took Clary's hands away form Maia's.

She turned to him with a concerned look in her eyes, "What are you talking about?"

He looked down, not wanting to see her reaction, "We have what we need from her or at least as much as we could get and now… we don't need her anymore and we cant just let her go… Clary we have to, we have to kill her."

Clary felt her stomach drop and her tears form, "What?" She choked.

He looked up at her and his heart cracked as he saw the despair in her eyes, "I'm sorry, I know you knew her but I have to."

"No." She shook her head as she pulled away from him and stood up, "No…"

He stood up, trying to reason with her, "Clary, you have to understand-"

"No I don't! I don't have to do anything!" She looked down at the cowering Maia and tears started to fall as she heard the wolf-girl's pleads, "Just do it… Please just do it…do it now…"

Clary couldn't handle this anymore, she bolted out of the cell but as she reached the steps she dropped to her knees as she heard the slash of a sword. With much hesitation, Clary turned around and let out a cry as she saw Maia, lying on the ground with blood pooling around her. Sebastian was now standing in front of Clary, wrapping his arms around her, trying to calm her, "It was for the best Clary, please understand that."

She wanted to yank out of his embrace and run back up to her room but her body instinctively leaned against him and letting her tears dampen his shirt. She felt her knees shake and finally give in but before she collapsed Sebastian's arms were beneath her and carrying her up the stairs.

He placed her down on the bed and pulled the blanket over her. As he went to turn and walk away she grabbed his hand and whispered, "Stop. Just stop."  
"Stop what?"

"Everything. Stop your plans, stop the destruction, stop the heartache and the self-hate… Just stop." She said as she looked up at him with water eyes. He looked at her with sorrow in his eyes and he brushed his lips against hers and mumbled, "I'm sorry for everything I've put you though."

"I know you are, just stay here, with me." She said as she pulled him down into another soft, teary kiss.

He slowly crawled on top of her, their kiss was salty with Clary's tears. He slowly broke away and laid down next to her, on his side. Her arm draped across his waist and his arms wrapped around her as she laid her head on his chest, embracing his warmth and familiar scent. He started running his fingers through the bottom of her hair as he whispered to her, "I'm sorry, for dragging you into this life, into my world and pulling you out of yours. I'll call it off, I'll call it all off, for you. Is there anywhere you want to go after all of this is over?"

She thought for a moment, "I don't care as long as I'm with you and we have a family together."

"Clary-" he choked, as he knew it wasn't possible, "We can't…"

"Maybe we could, if you look around and to do some research we might be able to… to have a family." She said with a croaky voice.

He was silent for a moment and then whispered, "Ok… I'll try."

She smiled softly at this and felt her eyelids start to droop and her body drift off into a dreamless sleep.

**Did you like it? Please review!**


	39. Chapter 391 alternative ending 1

**unedited. **

**Here it is, chapter 39. Last chapter - first alternative ending. **

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 39**

**_*2 years Later_**_*_

Sebastian left the Circle two weeks after he made his promise to Clary, he intended to leave Jacob and Becka in charge but they refused and decided to go with Clary and Sebastian so it was decided that Robert Lightwood would be left in charge. They left. They left everything, the apartment, the Circle, the life of a shadowhunter – well most of it. They were now living on an anchorage in South-East Queensland, Australia; Jacob, Becka and their son Louis lived on the anchorage next to theirs. Clary and Sebastian were now married – a mundane wedding – and were now living by the names of Jonathon and Clarissa/Clary Fray. Clary was still not able to get pregnant but they were still searching. Clary was baby sitting Louis while Becka and Jacob were out on a date night and Jonathon (Sebastian) was out, he thinks he may have a lead on a potion that could help with his and Clary's baby situation.

"Here comes the choo-choo train!" Clary said as she brought the spoonful of spaghetti to Louis' mouth.

Just as Louis cleaned off the spoon and Clary went to scoop up some more Jonathon tumbled into the house; his clothes bloody and his eyes drooping. Clary dropped the spoon into the bowl and went to his side immediately. He collapsed just before he got to her.

"Oh god! What happened?" She said as she tried to stop the bleeding.

Even though he was bleeding to death he still put on a loose smug smile, "I got it." He said as he pulled out a small vile of pink sparkling liquid from his pocket with a shaky hand.

Clary hadn't realised she was crying as she took the vile form his hand and put it on the table, "I don't care about that right now! You're bleeding to death!" She quickly got to her feet and started searching through draws and cupboards; looking for the first-aid kit. She didn't find a first-aid kit but something much better and mostly forgotten in a dusty draw, her stele.

She dashed to her side and lifted up his blood soaked shirt to find a deep stab wound in his lower side of his stomach, she gasped as she saw it. She looked up at him and his eyes were slightly drooping. She started drawing the rune and heard him gasp at the searing of his skin but she continued. It wasn't working; it just disappeared into nothing. She started to sob and then locked eyes with his as his bloody hand softly wrapped around hers. She leaned forward and kissed him softly, "You're not leaving me! Not now! Not after all we've been through!"

He chuckled slightly which only caused him to go into a coughing fit, blood dribbling down his chin. He smiled weakly, "I love you Clary."

"No! Don't say that! You are not dying!" She demanded in a shaky yet stubborn voice as tears poured down her cheek.

"Stubborn to the end." He said with a smile.

"It's not the end!" She said once again.

His eyes gestured up to the potion that was sitting on the table, "I guess we won't be needing that anymore."

Her slightly sobs turned into full cries, she leaned down and rested her head in the nook of his neck. She cried even more as she breathed in his scent, his scent that hadn't changed since when she first met him.

"Hey…" He said with a choky voice, "None of that."

She lifted her head and kissed him once more. The kiss was filled with all the passion she had ever felt for him, all the fire, all the love even all the hate in the beginning was in there but it didn't change anything, he was still bleeding to death in front of her eyes. She pulled away from the kiss and whispered softly in his ears, "I love you, forever and always."

"I love you to Clarissa." She looked at him for a moment and then he said in a slightly amused tone, "I guess Valentine was right."

"About?" She asked, tears still streaming.

He smiled and squeezed her hand, "To love is to destroy."

She squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to push away the brutal tears but her eyes flung open as she felt his hand go limp in hers.

"No… no… no, please no!" She said as she looked down at his lifeless face, blood still pooled form him and his cheeks were damp from her tears.

Her head dipped down and rested in the nook of his pulse-less neck and she let the tears of their love flow form her eyes.

She was brutally snapped out of her pain-filled, heart-aching thoughts by the sound of Louis' cries. She looked up to see him sitting in his high chair, squirming, trying to reach for more food. Her tears still fell as she slowly stood up, her lover's, brother's and enemy's blood dripped from her shirt but she made her way over to the winging boy and picked up the spoon and continued feeding him. Her whole being felt empty aside form the images that were running though her head.

The images of her and Sebastian; in Prague for the first time and the second, the Bone Chandelier, The Apartment, them with Jacinta, being asked to be his queen, finding out she was pregnant, losing her baby, him telling her that he loves her and her saying it back, being introduced to the circle, meeting Jacob and Becka, getting told stories about him by Jacob, getting hit, making up, and his promise along with everything in between and after.

_Their love…_

_Their struggles…_

_Their loss…_

_…their survival._


	40. Chapter 392 alternative ending 2

**unedited**

**Here it is, chapter 39. Last chapter - second alternative ending. **

**Hope you like it! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 39 – alternative ending.**

**_*2 years Later_**_*_

Sebastian left the Circle two weeks after he made his promise to Clary, he intended to leave Jacob and Becka in charge but they refused and decided to go with Clary and Sebastian so it was decided that Robert Lightwood would be left in charge. They left. They left everything, the apartment, the Circle, the life of a shadowhunter – well most of it. They were now living on an anchorage in South-East Queensland, Australia; Jacob, Becka and their son Louis lived on the anchorage next to theirs. Clary and Sebastian were now married – a mundane wedding – and were now living by the names of Jonathon and Clarissa/Clary Fray. Clary was still not able to get pregnant but they were still searching. Clary was sitting on the couch watching the recent episode of Big Bang Theory, Jonathon (Sebastian) was out doing something, he refused to tell Clary, it was a surprise. The door suddenly burst open and Jonathon ran to her, quickly pulling her to her feet and kissing her passionately.

As she broke away form the kiss she had a huge grin on her face, "What was that for?"

His eyes were lit up with jiy and a huge smile was spread across his face, "I got it!"

She had a moment of thought before she realised what he was talking about and her smile grew wider with realisation, "You've got it?!"

"I've got it!" He said as he pulled out a small crystal bottle which contained a pink sparkling liquid.

She looked at the bottle for a moment and then back up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him softly, whispering, "I love you."

"I love you too."

She took a deep breath and then asked, "What do we have to do?"

His smile grew even wider, she didn't think it was possible but it did, "All you have to do is drink it and then we… you know."

Clary couldn't wipe the smile from her face, she ran her hands down his arms and linked their fingers together. She slowly turned around and led him to _their_ bedroom.

She sat him down on the bed and gave him a loving kiss before saying, "Wait here, I have something for this occasion." She spun around on her heel and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

She emerged wearing _the dress_, the dress she had worn in Prague when they first touched, the jet-black dress – a slip, really – with elaborately beaded straps and lace hem. His eyes glistened as he remembered _that _night.

She smiled softly and made her way over to him, leaning down and kissing him softly, then whispering seductively in his ear, "Do you remember this dress?"

She moved so there eyes locked, he was looking at her with the deepest love, "Of course, it's the dress you wore on _our _night. In Prague-" He was cut off by her lips on his. She reached down and pulled his shirt off, exposing that body she loved so much. She ran her hands down his chest and gently pushed him down on the bed, crawling on top of him. Locking their lips together once more as his hands ran up her thighs and under her dress, feeling her soft tender breast. As her hips rubbed against his she felt his want for her beneath his jeans. She ran her hands down his toned chest and started undoing his pants, her want for him growing by the minute. She mumbled against their kiss, "I love you."

He responded by moaning as she placed her hand inside his jeans and rubbed his arousal. His hand moved from under her dress to her back, slowly unzipping her dress and slowly pushing it off her shoulders. She helped by shimmying it down the rest of her body, gently dropping it to the ground. She hadn't bothered with underwear when she got changed because she knew what was going to happen.

She kissed him one more time before sitting up, smiling warmly at him, "I love you."

"I love you too."

She reached over to the bedside cupboard and picked up the crystal bottle. She opened it and took a deep breath before bringing the salty pink contents to her lips, swallowing it in one go. She gasped as she felt the bubbles in her stomach.

Sebastian grew concerned at her reaction, "Clary is everything ok?"

She smiled and kissed him once again, "Yes, everything's perfect."

She kissed him passionately as she positioned herself above him. He slowly slid inside her, penetrating the warm walls he'd been penetrating for the last three years but this felt different, this felt _special._ She slowly started to move against him. He started to slowly thrust into her, meeting her movements with his own. She threw her head back and moaned his name as he hit that spot. She bit her bottom lip, "Faster." He obeyed and started pumping into her, faster and deeper each time, hitting _that_ spot each time. She was soon screaming his name like usual. Oh god they both felt themselves on the brink of release. Her muscles tightened, thighs quivered as her juices covered him. Her release was immediately matched by his. He hushed her name and pulled her into a tender kiss. They kissed for what felt like hours before he slowly pulled out of her and she collapsed on the bed next to him. Resting her head on his chest as his fingers twirled with the ends of her fiery hair.

"I love you Clary."

"I love you Jonathon."

**_*9 months later*_**

A fiery red headed women cries in Brisbane Hospital as her lover, brother and protector holds her hand and tells her she can do it. Silence, then a child's cry answers. Only moments later do the lovers get told that it's a girl and after hours of discussion does the child get named; _Jocelyn Magnus Fray._

**_*2 YEARS LATER*_**

A 4 year old Louis chases a giggling 2 year old redhead across the living room. She runs around the corner on her stubby legs, hiding behind her uncle.

"Uncle Jacob! Help!"

Jacob laughs as he scoops the red head up in his arms, "Well I guess I'll just have to… TICKLE YOU!"

She giggles uncontrollably and squirms in his arms, "DADDY! DADDY HELP!"

Clary, Jonathon and Becka walk into the kitchen laughing, the loving father goes to his daughter and scoops her up into his arms, "Was Uncle Jacob and Louis tickling you?"

She nodded and nuzzled into her father's warm chest, her small arms wrapped around his neck. Clary went to her husband's side, kissing the top of her daughter's head. Louis was now in his own father's arms and they all made their way out to the patio to have breakfast. The two kids were placed at the end of the tables in their highchairs. They happy family eat their breakfast, making simple talk, laughing when something was funny. Afterwards Louis and Jocelyn were watching The Wiggles in the lounge room, Jacob and Becka supervising them while Clary and Jonathon washed up. At first it was a simple kiss on the cheek which lead to another kiss on the cheek which lead to one on the lips and then somehow the redhead was sitting on the bench, her legs wrapped around his waist, both of them smiling against their kiss. Jonathon broke the kiss and looked down as he felt small hands tugging on his leg. A little redhead looked up at him with a soft smile while she rubbed her eyes.

He kneeled down and picked her up, "What's up sweetie?"

"I'm tired." She complained as she nuzzled into him.

Clary smiled and rubbed her tired daughter's back, "Let's take you upstairs then."

She nodded slightly, still nuzzled into her father's arms. They made their way upstairs and placed her down in her small pink bed. She was already fast asleep when they tucked her in. They turned on her nightlight as they turned off her bedroom lights.

Jonathon wrapped his arms around Clary's waist and kissed her softly, "Thank you." He whispered, not wanting to wake up their daughter.

She looked at him curiously, "For what?" She whispered back.

"For… everything. For loving me, for giving me a chance, for leaving everything for me, for making me a better man, for marrying me, and for giving me a beautiful daughter and being the best life partner anybody could ask for."

Clary felt her eyes start to water, she leaned up and kissed him lovingly, a tear of happiness rolling down her cheek as she pulled back and told him, "I love you, always have and always will. I would die for you Jonathon, I would go to the ends of the earth to be with you." She kissed him once again, slightly more passionate than the last, "Never leave me."

He hummed in replied in latin, "_Amare, et in aeternum semper" _

She smiled as she remembered him telling her what it meant; she rested her forehead on his, their noses just touching, "_Love, Forever and Always_."


	41. Farewell

**Hi, this isn't a chapter - sorry. **

**I'd just like to say thankyou to all my faithful readers who have followed this story from the beginning and readers who have read this story after it was finished. I hope you enjoyed this story and decided on you favourite alternative ending. Any way, I just wanted to say thankyou and if you read any of my other stories i hope you enjoy them just as much. **

**Thanks for reading and your amazing reviews! **


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